Left
君とわが寝しさむしろの塵なれば形見がてらにうちも払はず
| kimi to wa ga neshi samushiro no chiri nareba katami ga tera ni uchi mo harawazu | My love and I Did sleep upon these blankets, so Even the dust there Is a memento – I cannot brush it away! |
Lord Suetsune
1135
Right (Win)
ひとり寝の床のさ筵朽ちにけり涙は袖をかぎるのみかは
| hitorine no toko no samushiro kuchinikeri namida wa sode o kagiru nomi ka wa | Sleeping solo on My bed’s blankets, They have rotted away; Tears on more than sleeves Have that effect… |
Ietaka
1136
The Right state: ‘did sleep’ (neshi) is particularly unimpressive. The Left state: ‘more than sleeves’ (sode o kagiru) is, perhaps, over-definite.
In judgement: in the Left’s poem, despite ‘did sleep upon these blankets’ (neshi samushiro) referring to something which definitely exists, it still sounds as if there is not much poetic expression in the poem. ‘Is a memento’ (katami ga tera) fails to resemble ‘for blossom viewing’ (hanami ga tera). As for the Right’s poem, I certainly would not say that ‘tears on more than sleeves have that effect’ (namida wa sode o kagiru nomi ka wa) is over-definite. It is somewhat difficult to make out on hearing, but the configuration is poetic, indeed, so the Right should win, it seems.