Tag Archives: Kishi

Sumiyoshi-sha uta’awase kaō ni-nen 34

Round Nine

Left (Win)

うらさむくしぐるるよはのたびごろもきしのはにふにいたくにほひぬ

ura samuku
shigururu yowa no
tabigoromo
kishi no hanyū ni
itaku nioinu
The bay is cold with
Midnight showers, as
My traveller’s robe
With the shore’s ochre clay
Is deeply stained.

Taifu
67

Right

おもへただみやこのうちのねざめだにしぐるるそらはあはれならずや

omoe tada
miyako no uchi no
nezame dani
shigururu sora wa
aware narazu ya
Simply think of me, when
Within the capital
You start from sleep—
A showery sky is
Sad, isn’t it?

Sadanaga
68

While configuration of the Left’s poem, saying ‘With the shore’s ochre clay / Is deeply stained’ feels crude, it does appear to be in the style of the Myriad Leaves. As for the Right’s poem, its conception is good, but starting, ‘Simply think of me’ begs the question of who this is said to. Such diction is used in poetry exchanges or love poems, in particular. The Left’s poem is most likely superior.

Sumiyoshi-sha uta’awase kaō ni-nen 32

Round Seven

Left (Tie)

きしちかみたびねのとこをうつなみのかへるひまにぞしぐれとはしる

kishi chikami
tabine no toko o
utsu nami no
kaeru hima ni zo
shigure to wa shiru
Close by the coast
My journey’s bed is
Struck by waves;
In the space as they withdraw,
I know that showers are falling.

Dharma Master Yūsei
63

Right

しばのとをたたくあらしのおとにまたしぐれうちそふたびのよはかな

shiba no to o
tataku arashi no
oto ni mata
shigure uchisou
tabi no yowa kana
Upon my brushwood door
The storm wind came a’knocking;
The sound then
Laced with showers,
At midnight on my travels!

Norimori
64

In the Left’s poem, it sounds as if the shower is continuing to fall quietly, yet it then appears to have the conception that one knows the showers are falling in the gaps between the waves breaking. In the Right’s poem, ‘The storm wind came a’knocking; / The sound then’ sounds charming, but I do wonder about how it looks to have lines beginning beginning with both ‘brushwood door’ [shiba no to] and ‘showers’ [shigure]. Thus, again, these tie.

Sumiyoshi-sha uta’awase kaō ni-nen 31

Round Six

Left (Tie)

たびねするこやのしのやのひまをなみもらぬしぐれにぬるるそでかな

tabinesuru
koya no shinoya no
hima o nami
moranu shigure ni
nururu sode kana
Dozing on my journey
In Koya, beneath dwarf-bamboo thatch,
No gaps has it, so
No drips fall from the showers, yet
Still my sleeves are soaked!

Kunisuke
61

Right

しぐれつつものぞかなしきわすれぐさまくらにむすぶきしのたびねは

shiguretsutsu
mono zo kanashiki
wasuregusa
makura ni musubu
kishi no tabine wa
In the ever-falling showers,
I am sad, indeed, so
Of forgetful day-lily
My pillow will I weave,
Napping on my travels by the coast…

Horikawa
62

The Left’s poem is not bad in configuration and diction, but I would have preferred it had it said ‘no drips fall from the showers, too, yet’. As for the Right, saying that one is napping on one’s travels on the coast at Sumiyoshi, having woven a pillow from forgetful day-lilies does, indeed, sound evocative, but it would have been more so had there been a reason for the reference to day-lilies earlier in the poem. These tie, don’t they.

Sumiyoshi-sha uta’awase kaō ni-nen 23

Left (Tie)

すみよしのきしうつなみにてる月はこかげもあかしまつのむらだち

sumiyoshi no
kishi utsu nami ni
teru tsuki wa
kokage mo akashi
matsu no muradachi
At Sumiyoshi
Upon the waves, striking the shore,
Shines the moon—
The shadows of the trees are bright
Among the crowding pines.

Chūnagon, in service to the Former Ise Virgin[1]
45

Right

としふりてかみさびにけるすみのえのきしのたまもをみがく月かげ

toshi furite
kamisabinikeru
suminoe no
kishi no tamamo o
migaku tsukikage
Ancient in years is
The dread
Suminoe
Shore, where gemweed
Is polished by the moonlight.

Novice Sokaku[2]
46

The Left’s poem has a truly charming conception, with ‘Upon the waves, striking the shore, / Shines the moon’ reflecting and making the pines’ shadows shine. However, what are we to make of the use of ‘bright’ here? My late master once stated that he had too often heard such diction being used. The poem of the right appears to have pleasant configuration and diction, but, while it is only natural to say that the Suminoe’s shore is dread, I wonder about the appropriateness of going so far as to say that gemweed is? It’s going a bit far, I think, to bring in ‘gemweed’ simply to link it to ‘polish’. Nevertheless, the configuration of the poem appears pleasant, so I call this a tie.


[1] Zen-saigū no Chūnagon前斎宮中納言

[2] Shami Sokaku沙弥素覚

Sumiyoshi-sha uta’awase kaō ni-nen 09

Round Nine

Left

すみのえのこほりとみゆる月かげにとけやしぬらむかみのこころも

suminoe no
kōri to miyuru
tsukikage ni
toke ya shinuramu
kami no kokoro mo
At Suminoe
As ice appears
The moonlight, but
Is not, perhaps, melted
Even the deity’s heart?

Lord Fujiwara no Kinshige
Senior Fourth Rank, Lower Grade
Without Office[1]
17

Right (Win)

すみよしのおまへのきしのまつのはもかずかくれなくみゆる月かげ

sumiyoshi no
omae no kishi no
matsu no ha mo
kazu kakurenaku
miyuru tsukikage
At Sumiyoshi
On the coast before the shrine
Even the pine needles
Cannot hide their numbers,
Appearing in the moonlight.

Venerable Dharma Eye Enjitsu[2]
18

While in the Left ‘ice appears’ and ‘is not, perhaps, melted’ seem to have some kind of linkage, if we consider this as a Cathay-style poem saying ‘A chill night’s moon / Ice atop the swell’, then I would have preferred it to say ‘is, perhaps, bound’. An alternative version of this would, of course, be ‘A spring morn’s breeze / Ice on the eastern shore’ which could lead to ‘is not, perhaps, melted’, I think. The Right has ‘On the coast before the shrine / Even the pine needles’ and through this type of linkage expresses the brightness of the moon. While this type of smug-sounding expression also appeared in the round before last, the moon here does seem bright and so I can say that the Right wins.


[1] San’i shōyon’ige Fujiwara ason Kinshige 散位正四位下藤原朝臣公重

[2] Hōgen kashōi Enjitsu 法眼和尚位円実

Daikōtaigōgū no suke taira no tsunemori-ason ke uta’awase 47

Round Eleven

Left

おぼつかないづれうらごの山ならんみなくれなゐにみゆる紅葉ば

obotsukana
izure urago no
yama naran
mina kurenai ni
miyuru momijiba
How strange it is—
Where is Urago
Mountain, I wonder?
When all the same scarlet
Seem the autumn leaves…

Kiyosuke
93

Right (Win)

大ゐ河きしのもみぢのちるをりは浪にたたするにしきとぞみる

ōigawa
kishi no momiji no
chiru ori wa
nami ni tatasuru
nishiki to zo miru
At the River Ōi,
When the scarlet leaves upon the bank
Come to fall,
Cut out by the waves,
Does their brocade appear!

Mikawa
94

When I listen to the Left I wonder what on earth it’s actually about—the end seems redolent of love. The Right doesn’t seem to have any particular faults, so it should win.

Dairi kiku awase 02

あきすぎてはなざかりなるきくのはないろにたぐひてあきやかへれる

aki sugite
hanazakari naru
kiku no hana
iro ni taguite
aki ya kaereru
Autumn is past and
The flowers richly blooming are
Chrysanthemums:
With their hues
Autumn does return!

Korenori
3

なみとのみうちこそみゆれすみのえのきしにのこれるしらぎくのはな

nami to nomi
uchi koso miyure
suminoe no
kishi ni nokoreru
shiragiku no hana
Simply as waves
Do they, indeed, appear!
At Suminoe
Lingering on the shore
White chrysanthemum blooms.

Korenori
4