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Poetry Competition in Six Hundred Rounds

Summer II: 22

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Left (Win).

夕立の雲の水脈より伝ひきて軒端に落つる瀧の白玉

yūdachi no
kumo no mio yori
tsutaikite
nokiba ni otsuru
taki no shiratama		 An evening shower:
The clouds form channels
Trailing onto
My eaves’ edge and dropping
A cataract of silver droplets.

Lord Ari’ie.

283

Right.

鳴神の空かきくらす夕立にかゝらぬ里もありとこそ聞け

narukami no
sora kakikurasu
yūdachi ni
kakaranu sato mo
ari to koso kike		 Thunder
Darkens the sky;
This evening shower:
A dwelling where it falls not
There is, I’ve heard…

Lord Tsune’ie.

284

The Right have no criticisms to make of the Left’s poem, while the Left merely wonder, ‘Where is the dwelling where the shower “falls not”?’

Shunzei: ‘“The eaves’ edge and dropping a cataract of silver droplets” is particularly well-formed. It must win.’

Poetry Competition in Six Hundred Rounds

Summer II: 19

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Left.

入日さす外山の雲は晴れにけり嵐にすぐる夕立の空

irihi sasu
toyama no kumo wa
harenikeri
arashi ni suguru
yūdachi no sora		 Setting sun shines
Upon the clouds atop the mountains,
Cleared by
Storm winds ‘cross
A sky of evening showers…

A Servant Girl.

277

Right (Win).

谷川の流れを見ても知られけり雲越す峰の夕立の空

tanikawa no
nagare o mitemo
shirarekeri
kumo kosu mine no
yūdachi no sora		 The valley’s streams’
Swift flow, I glimpse and
Realise:
The peak crossing clouds are
A sky of evening showers.

Jakuren.

278

Neither team finds anything to object to in the other’s poem.

Shunzei states simply, ‘Both poems have particularly find latter sections. However, the Left is finer, I feel.

Poetry Competition in Six Hundred Rounds

Summer I: 18

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Left.

雲の上を出づる使のもろかづら向かふ日影にかざすけふかな

kumo no ue o
izuru tsukai no
morokazura
mukau hikage ni
kazasu kyō kana		 From above the clouds
The messengers emerge;
Bearing branches, hollyhock decked,
Bent towards the sun-bright power
In adornment on this day.

Lord Sada’ie.

215

Right (Win).

ゆふだすきかけてぞ頼む玉かづらあふひうれしきみあれと思へば

yūdasuki
kakete zo tanomu
tamakazura
aoi ureshiki
miare to omoeba		 With mulberry-cloth
Garlanded, wishing for
A jewelled belt of
Hollyhocks, on this joyful
Festive day…

The Provisional Master of the Empress’ Household Office.

216

The Right have no particular remarks to make about the Left’s poem. The Left, however, comment, ‘“Festival” (matsuri)and “festive” (miare) are somewhat different. They do not refer to events held on the same day.’

Shunzei responds, ‘While the Left’s “Bent towards the sun-bright power” (mukau hikage) certainly provides no evidence of a lack of feeling, in overall form the Right’s poem seems more elegantly flowing [migi utazama, iinagasaretaru yō]. While it is true that the festive days begin two days prior to the festival itself, the term can also apply to the evening of the festival day, and so the two can be seen as synonymous. The Right would seem to win.’

Poetry Competition in Six Hundred Rounds

Spring III: 30

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Left (Tie).

吉野山花の故郷跡たえてむなしき枝に春風ぞ吹く

yoshino yama
hana no furusato
ato taete
munashiki eda ni
haru kaze zo fuku		 Upon Mount Yoshino –
The home of blossom –
Footprints fade away;
Now purposeless, the branches,
Shudder in the winds of spring.

A Servant Girl.

179

Right (Tie).

山の端ににほひし花の雲消えて春の日數は有明の月

yama no ha ni
nioishi hana no
kumo kiete
haru no hikazu wa
ariake no tsuki		 Along the mountains’ edge
The glow of blossom
Clouds has faded;
The numbered days of Spring,
Revealed by the dawntime moon.

Nobusada.

180

Both teams proclaim themselves moved by the other’s poem.

Shunzei, however, has this to say. ‘The Left’s poem contains “purposeless, the branches, shudder in the winds of spring” (munashiki eda ni harukaze zo fuku), and despite the fact that poems on Mount Yoshino have a somewhat old-fashioned air, and that one might wonder on which peaks it is such clouds of blossom remain, even these moss-covered sleeves have become thoroughly soaked with tears at the thought that the Way of poetry has not reached its end; the Right’s poem has “The numbered days of Spring, revealed by the dawntime moon” (haru no hikazu wa ariake no tsuki), and this has moved even this old heart to thoughts of such a dawning sky, so it is impossible to distinguish between the two in quality. Of old, Spring poems had style, indeed, and to think that such form and spirit still combine to torment the soul is something for which I am thoroughly grateful. Truly, these moss-covered sleeves have been drenched by both Left and Right!’

Poetry Competition in Six Hundred Rounds

Spring III: 12

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Left (Tie).

をちかたやまだ見ぬ峰は霞にて猶花思ふ志賀の山越え

ochikata ya
mada minu mine wa
kasumi nite
nao hana omou
shiga no yamagoe		 In the distance far
As yet unseen peaks
Are shrouded in the haze;
Yet I think on blossom on
The path across the Shiga Mountains.

A Servant Girl.

143

Right (Tie).

春深み花のさかりに成ぬれば雲を分け入る志賀の山越え

haru fukami
hana no sakari ni
narinureba
kumo o wakeiru
shiga no yamagoe		 Spring is at its height, and
The blossoms their peak
Have reached, so
I pass between the clouds
On the path across the Shiga Mountains.

The Provisional Master of the Empress’ Household Office.

144

The Right say that ‘shrouded in the haze’ (kasumi nite) in the Left’s poem is ‘somewhat grating on the ear’ [isasaka mimi ni tatsu], while the Left reply that the Right’s is ‘rather old-fashioned’ [furumekashiki] and ‘there would be people complaining it was similar to their own work!’

In response, Shunzei says, ‘The Left’s ‘shrouded in haze’ certainly is somewhat grating in form [mimi ni tatsubeku ya], but seeing blossom scattered on a mountain path and wondering about the situation on peaks ahead hidden in the haze, seems well in keeping with the conception of the topic [amari no kokoro ni ya haberan]. As for the Right, on first impression it is splendid [yū], and as for it seeming old-fashioned, and people complaining about it: well, I wonder if there ever was anyone who composed in such a manner [kayō no kokoro ni koso yomeru hai ni ya]? At the present time I have no recollection of anyone. Thus, I cannot decide on a winner between the two.’

Poetry Competition in Six Hundred Rounds

Spring III: 9

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Left (Tie).

散りつもる花をば踏まじと思ふまに道こそなかれ志賀の山越え

chiritsumoru
hana oba fumaji
to omou ma ni
michi koso nakare
shiga no yamagoe		 Upon the fallen, piléd,
Blossoms I should not tread
I feel, and so
Pathway have I none
Across the Shiga Mountains…

Lord Kanemune.

137

Right (Tie).

春はたゞ雲路を分くる心地して花こそ見えぬ志賀の山越え

haru wa tada
kumoji o wakuru
kokochishite
hana koso mienu
shiga no yamagoe		 In spring, I simply
Forge a path betwixt the clouds,
I feel;
Blossoms indistinguishable
On the path across the Shiga Mountains.

Lord Takanobu.

138

The Right state that ‘I feel and so’ (to omou ma ni) in the Left’s poem is ‘unpleasant’, while the Left remark that ‘entering among blossoms and then saying “blossoms indistinguishable” is unclear.’ The commentators are uncertain about what the Right’s objection to ‘to omou ma ni’ is, and speculate that it may be because it contains one too many syllables for its position in the poem (six when there should be five). This seems most likely, as there are numerous other poems using the expression in other contexts.

Shunzei judgement is: ‘The Right’s emphasis on blossom resembling clouds is excessive and makes the poem eccentric. Their criticism of the Left’s “I feel, and so” (omou ma ni) is also excessive. The round would appear to be a tie.’

Poetry Competition in Six Hundred Rounds

Spring II: 28

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Left.

霞かは花鶯にとぢられて春にこもれる宿の明ぼの

kasumi ka wa
hana uguisu ni
tojirarete
haru ni komoreru
yado no akebono		 Is this haze?
No, in blossom and warbler song
Am I sealed;
Shut in by springtime
Is my home this dawn.

Lord Sada’ie

115

Right (Win).

霞立つ末の松山ほのぼのと浪にはなるゝ橫雲の空

kasumi tatsu
sue no matsuyama
honobono to
nami ni hanaruru
yokogumo no sora		 The hazes rise
Around the pine-clad peak of Sué;
Dimly
Departing from the waves,
Narrow clouds trail across the sky.

Ietaka.

116

The Right team have no particular remarks to make about the Left’s poem this round, but the Left state that the Right’s poem is ‘most satisfying.’

Shunzei’s judgement is: ‘The Left’s “Is this haze?” (kasumi ka wa) seems like it wants to be “Is this just haze?” (kasumi nomi ka wa). “In blossom and warbler song am I sealed” (hana uguisu ni tojirarete) and “my home this dawn” (yado no akebono) remind one of “the lofty palace of Shinsei stands behind warblers and blossom” and this is excellent. As for the Right’s poem, this is particularly moving, with its depiction of the scene “departing from the waves, narrow clouds trail across the sky” (nami ni hanaruru yokogumo no sora), recalling “the pine-clad peak of Sué” (sue no matsuyama). The poem does start with “hazes rise” (kasumi tatsu) and having “haze” (kasumi), “wave” (nami) and “cloud” (kumo) means the poem is somewhat overburdened with similar imagery. “Narrow clouds trail across the sky”, though, does make a particularly strong impression, and the Left’s poem is merely satisfying, as has been said. Thus, “my home this dawn” must lose, I think.’

Poetry Competition in Six Hundred Rounds

Spring II: 15

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Left (Win).

住みなるゝ床を雲雀のあくがれて行衛も知らぬ雲に入ぬる

suminaruru
toko o hibari no
akugarete
yukue mo shiranu
kumo ni irinuru		 His marital
Bed, the skylark
Has left, and
Within the drifting
Clouds has vanished

Lord Ari’ie.

89

Right.

見わたせば燒野の草は枯れにけり飛び立つ雲雀寢床定めよ

miwataseba
yakino no kusa wa
karenikeri
tobitatsu hibari
nedoko sadameyo		 Looking out,
The stubble-burned fields’ grasses
Are all withered:
O, skylark, flying forth,
Find your bed, somewhere!

Lord Tsune’ie.

90

The Right state that they would have preferred it if the Left’s poem had been phrased ‘the skylark’s bed’ (hibari no toko), rather than ‘bed, the skylark’ (toko o hibari no), which essentially is an argument in favour of avoiding the non-standard grammatical pattern of Direct Object-Subject. The Left’s criticism of the Right is on the grounds of content, saying, ‘Is it not the case that in a “stubble-burned field” (yakino) there would be nothing to “wither”? If something is burned, there is nothing left.’

Shunzei states that he finds it ‘difficult to agree’ with the Right’s criticism of the Left’s poem, and then goes on to state that ‘the stubble-burned fields’ grasses are all withered’ must mean either that they were burned after withering; or, that they withered after sprouting afresh following a burn. Though he does not say so explicitly, neither would be appropriate in a Spring poem, so ‘the Left must win.’

Poetry Competition in Six Hundred Rounds

Spring II: 13

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Left (Win).

末遠き若葉の芝生うちなびき雲雀鳴野の春の夕暮

sue tōki
wakaba no shibafu
uchinabiki
hibari naku no no
haru no yūgure		 To the distance far
The growing greensward
Stretches;
Skylarks singing o’er the plain
In the springtime evening.

Lord Sada’ie

85

Right.

雲に入るそなたの聲をながむれば雲雀落ち來る明ぼのゝ空

kumo ni iru
sonata no koe no
nagamureba
hibari ochikuru
akebono no sora		 From within the clouds
Comes song: thither
Staring,
Skylarks swooping
Through the skies at dawn.

Lord Takanobu.

86

The Right team question what it is that the greensward ‘streams’ (nabiku) towards, while the Left say that starting with ‘within the clouds’ (kumo ni iru) is ‘somewhat abrupt’.

Shunzei comments of the Right’s question, ‘whatever it streams towards, in truth, from point of view of form, it should not stream at all,’ meaning that there’s no need to use the expression at all in the poem. As for the Right’s poem, somewhat facetiously, he says, ‘what is “within the clouds” is, most likely a ball, and while gazing “thither at their song”, one would think that, no doubt, the skylark, too, would soon come swooping down, but one would have to stop staring in order to catch it!’ In addition, ‘wouldn’t it be to dark at dawn to distinguish a skylark?’ So, ‘Skylarks singing o’er the plain/In the springtime evening’ should be the winner.

Poetry Competition in Six Hundred Rounds

Spring I: 26

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Left.

心ある射手の舎人のけしきかな玉敷く庭に鞆音ひゞきて

kokoro aru
ite no toneri no
keshiki kana
tama shiku niwa ni
tomone hibikite		 Souls stirred,
The archers, guardsmen all,
Are a sight
Within the gem-strewn gardens,
As bowstring snaps to bracer!

Lord Ari’ie.

51

Right (Win).

梓弓引く手ばかりはよそなれど心にいるは雲の上人

azusayumi
hiku te bakari wa
yoso naredo
kokoro ni iru wa
kumo no uebito		 A catalpa bow:
Drawn simply by the hand,
Distant, it is, yet
Letting fly, within their hearts, are
The folk above the clouds…

Jakuren.

52

The Right team remark here that they were ‘unable to grasp’ the first line of the Left’s poem, possibly suggesting a judgement that kokoro aru, which I’ve translated here as ‘Souls stirred’, and which refers to the ability to be moved emotionally by phenomena, or events, was an unsuitable expression for mere ‘guardsmen’. The Left team state bluntly that the reference to ‘the folk above the clouds’ was ‘unsuited to this rite’, meaning the New Year archery contest, in which members of the higher nobility, the ‘folk above the clouds’, did not participate.