On the tenth day of the Eighth Month, Kanna 1,[1] His Majesty[2] entered the Courtiers’ Hall briefly and divided the gentlemen in attendance into teams for a poetry contest. His Majesty’s partner was Supernumerary Middle Counsellor Kintō, and he provided of the four topics. Judgements were by Koreshige.
Moon
Left (Win)
あきのよのつきにこころはあくがれてくもゐにものをおもふころかな
aki no yo no tsuki ni kokoro wa akugarete kumoi ni mono o omou koro kana
On an autumn night By the moon is my heart Entranced; Things beyond the clouds Fill my thoughts a while!
His Majesty 1
Right
いつもみるつきぞとおもへどあきのよはいかなるかげをそふるなるらん
itsumo miru tsuki zo to omoe aki no yo wa ikanaru kage o souru naruran
Every time I see The moon it fills my thoughts, but On an autumn night What light is it that Does seem to cover all?
The Gentlemen of the Right state: we find no faults to mention in the Left’s poem. The Gentlemen of the Left state: we wonder about the reason for emphasising ‘upon a river of tears the plovers’ (namida no kawa ni chidori).
In judgement: the Left on a lover’s letters becoming intermittent, and saying ‘the geese up in the skies, glimpsed, and then not seen at all’ (kumoi ni kari no miemi miezumi) has a charming conception, and elegant diction. The Right, saying ‘at midnight my sleeve is stirred by the wind’ (yowa no tamoto ni kaze fukete) and continuing ‘the plovers are crying’ (chidori nakunari) has a configuration and diction which sounds fine, too. The criticisms of the Gentlemen of the Left are nothing more than ‘a fisherman fishing beneath his pillow’! Although the conception of the Left’s poem is charming, the configuration of the Right’s poem is slightly more notable, so it should win.
asapi sasi
sogapi ni miyuru
kamu nagara
mina ni obasesu
sirakumo no
tipe wo osiwake
ama sosori
takaki tatiyama
puyu natu to
waku koto mo naku
sirotape ni
yuki pa puri okite
inisipe yu
arikinikereba
kogosikamo
ipa no kamusabi
tama kiparu
ikuyo penikemu
tatiwite
miredomo ayasi
minedakami
tani wo pukami to
otitagitu
kiyoki ka puti ni
asa sarazu
kiri tati watari
yupu sareba
kumowi tanabiki
kumowi nasu
kokoro mo sino ni
tatu kiri no
omopi sugusazu
yuku midu no
woto mo sayakeku
yoroduyo ni
ipitugi yukamu
kapa si taezu wa
The morning sun shines
At my back,and
Divine
Your great name links:
Clouds of white
In a thousand layers, you pierce, and
Tower into the heavens,
Tall Tachiyama!
In winter and, in summer both
Indistinguishably are you
Clad in mulberry white
Fallen drifts of snow;
Since ancient days
Ever has been your estate,
Fastened round with
Crags divine；
‘til all souls end
Have countless ages passed!
Standing here,
I see you, yet am awed by
Your lofty peak and
Valley’s deep, where
Plunge seething cataracts of
Waters pure to pools where
Morning never leaves –
Mists rise and roll across, and
When the evening comes
Clouds trail in and
Cover all,
Even, with sadness, my heart, so
The rising mists
Never leave my thoughts, and of
Your running waters’
Clear, pure sound
Through ten thousand ages
Will I ever tell
Unending as a river’s flow…
The Right state: the Left’s poem is clichéd. The Left state: the Right’s poem is that of Shigeyuki.
In judgement: the Left’s poem is clichéd, but in addition to this uses ‘goes on and on’ (tsuzukite), which is not something one should say. The Right’s poem is, indeed, overly close to Shigeyuki’s, so both Left and Right poem are deficient and lacking in any element allowing a win.
In judgement: although the Left’s poem sounds a little over-familiar, it certainly does have conception. The Right’s poem does sound smooth, but the origin poem has ‘Forget me not’ (wasuru na yo) – and this has ‘I will not forget’ (wasurezu yo) – the origin poem has ‘for distant as the clouds’ (hodo wa kumoi ni) – and this has ‘how far beyond the clouds’ (iku kumoi to wa); and ‘as the moon across the skies’ (sora yuku tsuki no) is identical, so the only part which as been changed is ‘I shall return – ‘til then’ (meguri au made). It is only to be expected that it would sound good, given that it presents much of the same material in the same order. The Left should win.
The Right say, ‘The conception of the Left’s poem is trite. The comparison of these things (the cicadas’ songs and the mountains’ height) goes against the spirit of the topic.’ The Left have nothing, and no reason, to say anything.
Shunzei agrees: ‘Better than the over-wrought language of the Left’s poem, the Right’s “Both near and far wait but a moment” (ochikochi ni yagate machitoru) suits the topic well. The Right must win.’
The Right remark that, ‘the waves appear somewhat abruptly’ in the Left’s poem, while the Left simply say, ‘from an unusual beginning, the Right’s poem says simply “decorations are there none”, which is obvious.’
Shunzei contents himself with, ‘The Left wins by a small margin.’
The Right state that the Left’s poem ‘would probably be better’ without the final ka (the use of this particle, marking rhetorical tone, was considered old-fashioned by the time the poem was written, and this old-fashioned air is what the Right are criticising). The Left reply that the final two stanzas of the Right’s poem ‘are not effective’, probably suggesting that the poem implies the capital is on fire, rather than simply being concealed by smoke from stubble-burning.
Shunzei merely remarks that the Left’s criticisms are ‘apposite, in general’ and awards them the victory.