Old Folk 老人
くろかみも色かはりゆきみる人のいとふばかりにおいにけるかな
| kurokami mo iro kawariyuki miru hito no itou bakari ni oinikeru kana | My raven tresses’ Hue has changed with the snow, and Folk who see Simply avoid me with distaste – Such is having grown old! |
Daishin
Tag Archives: kurokami
Eikyū hyakushu 651
Eikyū hyakushu 639
Sōkonshū 6578
Love V: 5
Left (Tie).
言はぬ間は思ふも心九十九髪さは僞りの夢や見てまし
| iwanu ma wa omou mo kokoro tukumogami sa wa itsuwari no yume ya mitemashi |
While he’s said not a word, If love in his heart Arrived for my white hair, Then a false dream Would I see in truth? |
Lord Kanemune.
849
Right.
戀初めし心の色に積む年は我黒髪に現れにけり
| koi someshi kokoro no iro ni tsumu toshi wa wa ga kurogami ni arawarenikeri |
Since I first awoke to love The hues of passion in my heart by The drifting years Upon my raven tresses Are made clear. |
Nobusada.
850
The Right state: is this a reference to the recent poem ‘seeing a dream with white hair’ (yume o miru to mo tsukumogami)? The Left state: ‘drifting years’ (tsumu toshi) is grating on the ear.
In judgement: both poems refer to hair, and the Gentlemen of the Right have asked whether the Left are referring to a ‘recent poem’, and I wonder when this poem might have been composed? It is impossible to entirely avoid referring to poems which are not included in the anthologies. Needless to say, though, it is normal for one’s poems not to resemble others to a great extent. In addition, I do not feel that ‘drifting years’ is that grating on the ear. However, simply saying ‘Upon my raven tresses are made clear’ (wa ga kurogami ni arawarenikeri) does not convey a strong sense of gray hair, I think. Finally, the configuration of the Left’s ‘then a false dream’ (sa wa itsuwari no) is particularly unacceptable, I think. So, a tie.
Love IV: 10
Left.
朝戸出の妹が振りこす黒髪は見るよそ目さへ心亂れぬ
| asa tode no imo ga furikosu kurokami wa miru yosome sae kokoro midarenu |
In the morning, opening the door Draped with my love’s Tresses of black: The sight any Heart would excite! |
Kenshō.
799
Right.
立ちかへり惜しみし袖の移り香をよそにも今は思こそやれ
| tachikaeri oshimishi sode no utsuriga o yoso ni mo ima wa omoi koso yare |
Reluctant To leave, upon my sleeves Her scent was left, and Now, so far away, It recalls her still… |
Jakuren.
800
The Right state: the Left’s poem is pretentious. The Left state: the conception of morning fails to appear in the Right’s poem.
In judgement: Although the Left’s ‘tresses of black’ (kurokami) is used extremely frequently, the configuration of combining it with ‘my love, opening the door in the morning’ (asa tode no imo) whose ‘sight any heart would excite’ (miru yosome sae kokoro midare) is terrifying, is it not? The Right’s ‘upon my sleeves her scent was left’ (sode no utsuriga) does not sound objectionable. Although the conception of morning there is lacking, the Left simply has ‘tresses of black’ the ‘heart would excite’, which does not sound particularly in keeping with Love so, overall, the round should tie.
Love 72
Left (Tie).
せめておもふ今一度のあふことは渡らん河や契なるべき
| semete omou ima hitotabi no au koto wa wataran kawa ya chigiri narubeki |
Do I feel, at least, Now, once more To meet with you, that I would cross death’s river from The bond we share? |
143
Right (Tie).
かきやりしその黑髪のすぢごとにうち臥すほどは面影ぞたつ
| kakiyarishi sono kurokami no sujigoto ni uchifusu hodo wa omokage zo tatsu |
I combed Your black tresses Strand by strand; Now I lay me down alone, Your face stands out before me. |
144