Tag Archives: light

Eien narabō uta’awase 18

Round Four

Left

まくずはふ山ぢもはれてあきのよはこゆるたびびとやすき月かな

makuzu hau
yamaji mo harete
aki no yo wa
koyuru tabibito
yasuki tsuki kana
Kudzu vines crawl
Along the mountain paths, so clear
On an autumn night for
A traveller a’crossing
Lit by a clement moon!

Cell of the Fragrant Elephant
35

Right

くまもなきつきのひかりをながめてはひたけてぞしるよはあけにけり

kuma mo naki
tsuki no hikari o
nagamete wa
hi takete zo shiru
yo wa akenikeri
No cloud mars
The moon’s light,
Filling my gaze, as
A sun up high, telling me,
Night leads to bright dawn.

Cell of the Everlasting Truth
36

The poem of the Left has nothing to present in all of its syllables. The poem of the Right resembles a composition by someone drunk out of his mind. As a result, it’s impossible to decide between them.

In the poem of the Left, does ‘clement moonlight’ mean that the moon’s light enables one to traverse a mountain path, which normally one would be unable to make one’s way along because one would expect it to be dark? The diction here is insufficient. As it says in the preface to the Ancient and Modern Collection of Narihira’s poems, ‘excessive conception but lacking in diction, like withered flowers lacking colours, but with a lingering fragrance’. This is a poem in that style, isn’t it. As for the poem of the Right, this, too, has ‘night leads to bright dawn’—the diction here is stilted and the conception lacks elegance. I have to say these poems are of about the same standard.

GSIS IV: 256

Composed for the Palace Poetry Match held on the 10th day of the Eighth Month, Kanna 1.

いつもみる月ぞとおもへどあきのよはいかなるかげをそふるなるらん

itumo miru
tuki zo to omoFedo
aki no yo Fa
ika naru kage wo
soFurunaruran
Always, do I see
The moon, I thought, yet
On an autumn night
What is this light
That trails over all?

Fujiwara no Nagayoshi

Eien narabō uta’awase 16

Round Two

Left (Win)

秋のよの月のひかりはかはらねどたびのそらこそあはれなりけれ

aki no yo no
tsuki no hikari wa
kawaranedo
tabi no sora koso
aware narikeri
On an autumn night
The moon’s light
Is unchanged, yet
The sky above me on my travels
Is so very sad, indeed.

Lord Saburō
31

Right

あきの夜はたのむる人もなきやどもありあけの月はなほぞまちいづる

aki no yo wa
tanomuru hito mo
naki yado mo
ariake no tsuki wa
nao zo machi’izuru
On an autumn night
With no man even expected
At my house,
It is the dawntime moon’s
Appearance that, indeed, I have awaited.

Ushigimi

32

The poem of the Left seems extremely well-trodden. It resembles a something sung as a popular song. As for the poem of the Right, ‘not…at my house’ is extraordinarily stilted, yet the poems are of the same quality, so I would say these tie.

The poem of the Left’s final ‘Is so very sad, indeed’ sounds pitiful and truly unskilled. The poem of the Right overemphasises ‘even’, and also appears to say that the dawntime moon is an element conveying a moving desolation. I wonder if this is appropriate for the topic of the ‘the moon’ in a poetry match? There needs to be a prior poem as precedent. It does say that the moon’s emergence after having waited for it is something precious, but the poem refers to the moon in the latter part of the month, after the twentieth day, doesn’t it? This would seem to be moving, for sure, but it’s something which doesn’t shed much light, so I would say that the Left wins.

Eien narabō uta’awase 14

Round Seven

Left

ほととぎすひとこゑなきてすぎぬれどしたふ心ぞちぢにありける

hototogisu
hitokoe nakite
suginuredo
shitau kokoro zo
chiji ni arikeru
The cuckoo
A single call cried out, and
Passed me by, yet
Missing him, my heart
He left in a thousand, thousand pieces.

Lady Kazusa
27

Right (Win)

ほととぎすくものたえまにもる月のかげほのかにもなきわたるかな

hototogisu
kumo no taema ni
moru tsuki no
kage honoka ni mo
nakiwataru kana
The cuckoo, as
From a gap between the clouds
Drips the moon’s
Light, faintly
Calls on!

Lady Shikibu
28

Both poems are of the same quality.

The Left’s poem really makes me wonder why that should be the case, with the final ‘he left’ putting me in mind of someone in court dress who has forgotten to put on his shoes! The Right’s poem appears rather more bright than it needs to be. Furthermore, if one says that the ‘light is faint’ then shouldn’t the moon be hidden by the clouds? It’s vague over that, but if there were a prior poem as precedent, then it would be a good composition. For the present, I will make it the winner.

Entō ōn’uta’awase 33

Round Thirty-Three

Stags in the Night[1]

Left

久方のかつらの陰に鳴く鹿は光をかけて声ぞさやけき

hisakata no
katsura no kage ni
naku shika wa
hikari o kakete
koe zo sayakeki
In the eternal
Silver trees’ glow
The belling stag
Is limned with light, and
His voice sounds clear, indeed!

A Court Lady
65

Right (Win)

天川秋の一夜のちぎりだにかた野に鹿の音をや鳴くらん

ama no kawa
aki no hitoyo no
chigiri dani
katano ni shika no
ne o ya nakuran
By the River of Heaven
For a single autumn night’s
Brief bond—
Is that why a stag at Katano
Does cry out so?

Ietaka
66

The Right’s poem, by beginning with ‘By the River of Heaven / For a single autumn night’s / Brief bond’ and then continuing with ‘a stag at Katano’ sounds particularly refined, evoking memories of bygone days when Prince Koretaka sought lodging from the Weaver Maid when hunting at Katano—how charming it is.[2] The Left’s poem overall is not particularly bad and seems to lack any obvious faults, but the Right’s poem surpasses it in every way: it is not one of the normal run of compositions and thus, it must win.


[1] 夜鹿 – there are early examples of poems on related topics in Kin’yōshū and Senzaishū.

[2] Gotoba is referring to a pair of poems in Kokinshū which are contextualized by an account of a hunting expedition by Prince Koretaka 惟喬 (844-897): Once, when he had gone hunting in the company of Prince Koretaka, they dismounted by the banks of a river called Ama no Gawa (River of Heaven), and while they were tippling, the Prince commanded that Narihira offer him a wine cup with a poem expressing the feelings of a hunter arriving at the river of Heaven, so he composed the following: かりくらしたなばたつめにやどからむあまのかはらに我はきにけり kari kurashi / tanabatatsume ni / yado karamu / ama no kawara ni / ware wa kinkeri  ‘While hunting night is falling, / So from the Weaver Maid / Let us beg lodging / For to the Riverbank of Heaven / Have we come!’ Ariwara no Narihira (KKS IX: 418); The prince recited the above poem many times, but was unable to think of a reply so, being one of the party, Aritsune composed this: ひととせにひとたびきます君まてばやどかす人もあらじとぞ思ふ hito tose ni / hito tabi kimasu / kimi mateba / yado kasu hito mo / araji to zo omou ‘In a single year / But once comes / The Lord she awaits, so / One who provides lodging / She is not, I’d say!’ Ki no Aritsune (KKS IX: 419). These poems were famously incorporated into chapter 82 of Ise monogatari with four others to provide an expanded context. See Horiuchi and Akiyama (1997, 157-160) for the original text and Mostow and Tyler (2010, 175-179) for an English translation and commentary.

Naidaijin-ke uta’awase 28

Round Four

Left (Both Judges – Win)

こひわぶる君が雲ゐの月ならば及ばぬ身にも影はみてまし

koiwaburu
kimi ga kumoi no
tsuki naraba
oyobanu mi ni mo
kage wa mitemashi
So cruel in your love,
My lord, above the clouds
The moon were you, then
Though it reaches me not
I wish your light to see…

Lady Kazusa
55

Right

いのるらん神のたたりはなさるとも逢ふてふ事に身をばけがさじ

inoruran
kami no tatari wa
nasaru tomo
au chō koto ni
mi oba kegasaji
You seem to pray for it, and
Even should a deity’s taboo
This break,
A meeting
Would be no pollution, I feel…

Lord Akinaka
56

Toshiyori states: the first poem makes a person into the moon, and is different in sense from the poem in the Tentoku poetry match which also uses ‘Though it reaches me not’. The second poem appears to be one written after becoming close to another—if that’s what the composition is about, then it should include an element from a prior poem for precedent. Then again, one could compose like this as a response to a prayer received from a man’s residence, in which case it would resemble something sent between people who have yet to meet. It loses.

Mototoshi states: saying ‘My lord, above the clouds / The moon were you, then’ appears an elegant sequence. I wonder if it was composed with the poem by Nakatsukasa in a poetry match in Tenryaku, where she uses ‘above the clouds, the moon’? While the ‘beloved light’ in this poem is very well depicted, here the diction seems stilted. As for the Right, up to ‘You seem to pray for it, and /Even should a deity’s taboo’ is acceptable, but ‘A meeting / Would be no pollution, I feel’ is extremely difficult to understand. Would a meeting, of whatever sort, be a cause of pollution? It really makes me feel as if something like ‘ditch’ was going to be dropped in! Neither has a charming conception, yet ‘above the clouds, the moon’ is slightly better in the present context.

Sumiyoshi-sha uta’awase kaō ni-nen 69

Round Nineteen

Left (Win)

やはらぐるひかりをたのむしるしにはこむよのやみをてらさざらめや

yawaraguru
hikari o tanomu
shirushi ni wa
komu yo no yami o
terasazarame ya
The God has dimmed
His light, but rely on it
As a sign, I will, that
In the darkness of the world to come
He will surely shine…

Dharma Master Yūsei
137

Right

かみにわれたのみをかけてまつなればすみよしにこそみをばやどさめ

kami ni ware
tanomi o kakete
matsu nareba
sumiyoshi ni koso
mi oba yadosame
In the God, I
Place my trust, and
Await, with the pines, so
At Sumiyoshi, surely,
Will I make my lodging!

Norimori
138

The Left’s poem does not have a particularly remarkable conception, but with that being said, while its flow appears smooth, the expression of its core sentiment is, indeed, moving. As for the poem of the Right, while ‘Place my trust, and / Await, with the pines, so’ seems charming, the elevated tone of the Left is slightly superior, I think.