Composed on the conception of Lingering Cold.
衣手のうすきや冬のせきならんわが身はいとどしみこほりつつ
| koromode no usuki ya fuyu no seki naran wa ga mi wa itodo shimikōritsutsu | Do my sleeves, So scanty, winter’s Barrier gate mark? My flesh is still so Pierced with icy chills! |
Tag Archives: Lingering Cold
Eikyū hyakushu 14
Eikyu hyakushu 13
Eikyū hyakushu 12
Eikyū hyakushu 11
Eikyū hyakushu 10
Eikyū hyakushu 8
Spring I: 12
Left (Win).
空はなを霞もやらず風冴えて雪氣にくもる春の夜の月
| sora wa nao kasumi mo yarazu kaze saete yukige ni kumoru haru no yo no tsuki |
The skies are still Untouched by haze; The wind clearly brings A sense of snow to cloud The moon, this springtime night. |
23
Right.
梅が枝の匂ばかりや春ならんなを雪深し窓のあけぼの
| ume ga e no nioi bakari ya haru naran nao yuki fukashi mado no akebono |
Is a branch of plum’s Scent alone Spring? Still the snows lie deep Outside my window this dawn. |
24
Neither team has any criticisms to make of the other’s poem in this round.
Shunzei comments that both poems are simply and beautifully constructed in both form and phrasing, and the final two lines of both poems are equally charming. He feels, though, that the beginning of the Right’s poem would have been improved if, instead of ‘a branch of plum’ (ume ga e), which focuses the audience’s attention on the branch, and not the blossom, it had begun ‘Is the plum beneath my eaves’ (noki no ume), instead. In addition, while reluctant to discount ‘outside my window this dawn’ (mado no akebono), he cannot help but feel that ‘the moon, this springtime night’ (haru no yo no tsuki) is a more superlative conclusion, and so has to award victory to the Left.
Spring I: 11
Left (Tie).
天の原春とも見えぬながめかなこぞのなごりの雪の明ぼの
| ama no hara haru tomo mienu nagame kana kozo no nagori no yuki no akebono |
Upon the plain of Heaven Of Spring there is no sign In sight: A memento of the year that’s gone, Snowfall with the dawning. |
21
Right (Tie).
なごりには春の袂も冴えにけり霞より散る雪のけしきに
| nagori ni wa haru no tamoto mo saenikeri kasumi yori chiru yuki no keshiki ni |
The memento Also upon my springtime sleeves Stands clear: Drifting from the haze, A scene of snow. |
22
In this round the Right team have no criticisms to make of the Left’s poem, but the Left query beginning a poem with ‘memento’, as the audience then immediately wonder, ‘A memento of what?’
Shunzei comments that the Left’s poem starts extremely well, but that, even though ‘in sight’ (nagame kana) has been frequently used in poetry recently, its spirit has yet to be fully determined, and so including it here must be considered a mistake. Furthermore, the concluding line, ‘snowfall with the dawning’ (yuki no akebono), has also been much used in recent poetry. As for the Right’s poem, he feels it ends extremely well, but echoes the criticism of the Left about the beginning. Thus, the best result for this round is a tie.
Spring I: 10
Left (Win).
霞みあへず猶降る雪に空とぢて春物ふかき埋み火のもと
| kasumi aezu nao furu yuki ni sora tojite haru monofukaki uzumibi no moto |
No trace of haze and Still the falling snow Seals the sky; Spring lies deep Amongst the buried embers. |
19
Right.
霞しくけさゝへ冴ゆる袂かな雪ふる年や身につもるらん
| kasumi shiku kesa sae sayuru tamoto kana yuki furu toshi ya mi ni tsumoruran |
Haze spreads: Today, ‘tis clear Upon my sleeve: Is it with snow fall this year That I am buried? |
20
The Right team state that the final line of the Left’s poem is ‘grating on the ear’, but that otherwise they can find nothing wrong with it. Shunzei remarks somewhat testily, that they are pre-empting his role as judge, but broadly agrees, finding the central image of snow ‘sealing the sky’ particularly fine. He finds the Right’s poem problematic in that ‘haze spreads’ in the middle of spring, and this poem is supposed to be describing the season’s beginning – it should be ‘haze rises’ (kasumi tatsu), and there is nothing remarkable about the rest of it. Thus, he awards the round to the Left.