Left (Win)
山深み歎きこる男のをのれのみ苦しくまどふ恋の道かな
yama fukami
nageki koru o no
onore nomi
kurushiku madou
koi no michi kana | Deep within the mountains
Felling trees, a woodsman’s
Axe, my grief
Leaves me in pained confusion
On the paths of love… |
Lord Sada’ie
1187
Right
山人の帰る家路を思ふにも逢はぬ歎きぞ休むまもなき
yamabito no
kaeru ieji o
omou ni mo
awanu nageki zo
yasumu ma mo naki | A mountain man,
Homeward bound,
Is in my thoughts, but
Unable to meet with you grief
Gives me no respite. |
Ietaka
1188
Left and Right together state: no faults to mention.
In judgement: the Left has a profound conception of love. The Right’s ‘homeward bound’ (kaeru ieji) and ‘unable to meet with you grief’ (awanu nageki) are extremely difficult to grasp, I think. The Left should win.
Left (Tie)
我恋はしげきみ山の山人のさすがにえしもこりはてぬ哉
wa ga koi wa
shigeki miyama no
yamabito no
sasuga ni e shimo
korihatenu kana | My love is
Lush as a tree in the mountains’ heart;
The mountain men with
Their hatchets cannot even
Begin to fell it! |
Ari’ie
1185
Right
秋かけてつま木こり積む山人ももゆる思の程は知らじな
aki kakete
tsumagi koritsumu
yamabito mo
moyuru omoi no
hodo wa shiraji na | Into autumn
Gathering piles of kindling
Even a mountain man,
The burning fires of my passion
Can hardly know… |
Jakuren
1186
The Right state: in the Left’s poem, ‘hatchets’ (sasuga) fails to match properly. The Left state: the Right’s poem lacks faults to indicate.
In judgement: indeed, in the Left’s poem ‘hatchets’ does not sound like it matches properly. The Right’s poem has the initial ‘into autumn’ (aki kakete), but the conception of autumn does not sound necessary here. They are of the same quality.
Left (Win)
斧の柄を何かあやしと思けんしばしの恋も袖は朽ちけり
ono no e o
nani ka ayashi to
omoiken
shibashi no koi mo
sode wa kuchikeri | An axe haft –
What is there strange in that
I wonder?
For with this brief love
My sleeves have rotted… |
Kenshō
1183
Right
あさましや心をしほる山人も身におふ程の歎きをぞこる
asamashi ya
kokoro o shioru
yamabito mo
mi ni ou hodo no
nageki o zo koru | How surprising!
Heartbroken
A woodcutter, too,
Is burdened by
The tree of grief he fells… |
Lord Takanobu
1184
Left and Right together state: we find no faults to mention.
In judgement: For the Left, I wonder how long a ‘brief love’ (shibashi no koi) lasts? For one’s sleeves to have rotted, surely a certain amount of time must have passed, but in configuration the poem is certainly elegant. The Right’s woodcutter (yamabito) sounds like he is saying rather too much about himself. The Left should win.
Left
朝夕にみ山に通ふ賤だにも歎きはこらぬ物とこそ聞け
asa yū ni
miyama ni kayou
shizu dani mo
nageki wa koranu
mono to koso kike | Morning and evening,
Travelling to the mountain deeps and back,
Even the woodsmen
Will not fell the tree of grief,
Or so I hear… |
Lord Kanemune
1181
Right (Win)
賤の男よ思ひはわれもこりぬべしをのが苦しき妻木ならねど
shizu no o yo
omoi wa ware mo
korinubeshi
ono ga kurushiki
tsumaki naranedo | O, woodsman!
I, too, in fires of passion
Must burn on;
My longing for my love, your axe
To kindling will not hew, and yet… |
Nobusada
1182
The Right state: the Left’s poem has no faults to indicate. The Left state: the Right’s poem sounds like it is chopping kindling that the woodsman will do no more.
In judgement: ‘Travelling to the mountain deeps and back, the woodsmen’ (miyama ni kayou shizu) should ‘fell the tree of grief’ (nageki o koru), but in the poem they ‘do not fell’ (koranu) it – I wonder how appropriate this is. This conception seems to be one not relating to grief, but simply to tree-felling. ‘I, too, in fires of passion must burn on’ (omoi wa ware mo korinubeshi) seems somewhat difficult to interpret, but I must say that the configuration of the final section is superb.
Left (Win)
うら山し賤も妻木を立てつめりいつ休むべき恋にかあるらん
urayamashi
shizu mo tsumagi o
tatetsumeri
itsu yasumubeki
koi ni ka aruran | How I envy
The mountain man who kindling
Has gathered all together!
When, though, will I find respite
From love? |
Lord Suetsune
1179
Right
思ひ出るかひもなければ山人はあはぬつま木にこりやしぬらん
omoi’izuru
kai mo nakereba
yamabito wa
awanu tsumagi ni
kori ya shinuran | Remembering
Deeply serves no point, but
A mountain man
I am not – unable to meet her – kindling
Should I be cutting? |
Lord Tsune’ie
1180
Left and Right together state: we find no faults to indicate.
In judgement: although I wonder the extent to which the Left’s ‘how I envy’ (urayamashi) a mountain man resting is accurate, I also wonder whether this sort of back and forth upon the path is something which commonly appears, so the poem does not seem uninteresting. The Right’s ‘remembering deeply serves no point’ (omoi’izuru kai mo nakereba) does not sound particularly out of the ordinary. The Left wins somehow.
Left (Win)
恋路には風やはさそふ朝夕に谷の柴舟行帰れども
koiji ni wa
kaze ya wa sasou
asa yū ni
tani no shibabune
yukikaeredomo | Along the path of love
Does the wind beckon me?
Morning and evening
Along the valley boats of brushwood
Go back and forth, yet… |
A Servant Girl
1177
Right
真柴こる賤にもあらぬ身なれども恋ゆへわれも歎きをぞ積む
mashiba koru
shizu ni mo aranu
mi naredomo
koi yue ware mo
nageki o zo tsumu | Cutting kindling as
A mountain man is not
My lot, yet
For love do I
Stack up my grief in logs! |
The Supernumerary Master of the Empress’ Household Office
1178
Left and Right together state: there is no reason to make any criticisms here.
In judgement: although ‘beckon’ (sasou) in the Left’s poem should be ‘send’ (okuru), it is certainly elegant how it evokes thoughts of Captain Cheng travelling along the valley. The Right, beginning with ‘kindling’ (mashiba) and then having ‘grief in logs’ (nageki) sounds a little too similar, I think. The Left should win.
'Simply moving and elegant'