Left
ひとこひてぬるはるのよはしきたへのまくらながれてうきぬべきかな
| hito koite nuru haru no yo wa shikitae no makura nagarete ukinubeki kana | Loving her, and Sleeping on a night in spring, My mulberry cloth Pillow in the flow Simply floats away! |
11
Right
ねざめするわがしきたへはいけなれやつまなきをしとなかれこそすれ
| nezamesuru wa ga shikitae wa ike nare ya tsuma naki oshi to nakare koso sure | On waking Is my mulberry cloth A pond, by chance? For as a mandarin drake without his duck Do I surely cry! |
12
Round Twenty-Four
Left (Win)
かぜのおとにわきぞかねましまつがねのまくらにもらぬしぐれなりせば
| kaze no oto ni waki zo kanemashi matsu ga ne no makura ni moranu shigure nariseba | The gusts of wind I cannot tell apart from The rustle of the pines roots For my pillow should no drips From the shower fall… |
Lord Sanefusa
97
Right
たびのいほはあらしにたぐふよこしぐれしばのかこひにとまらざりけり
| tabi no io wa arashi ni taguu yoko shigure shiba no kakoi ni tomarazarikeri | My traveller’s hut Is lashed by the storm wind’s Sideways showers— The brushwood walls Halt it not at all. |
Lord Yorimasa
98
The conception and configuration of the poem of the Left, starting ‘I cannot tell apart from / The rustle of the pines’ and continuing ‘For my pillow should no drips / From the shower fall’ is, once again, truly exceptional! As for the poem of the Right, while it appears to have a charming style and use of diction, even if it is the case that ‘sideways showers’ are a genuine phenomenon, it fails to sound particularly elegant, doesn’t it. In addition, the latter section of the poem, ‘the brushwood walls’, feels slightly lacking in conception. Thus, I make the Left the winner.
Round Sixteen
Left
くさまくらたびねさびしきやまかげにこのはさそひてしぐれふるなり
| kusamakura tabine sabishiki yamakage ni ko no ha sasoite shigure furunari | On a grassy pillow, Dozing on my travels, lonely In a mountain’s shade, The rustling of the leaves invites A shower to fall. |
Hyōenosuke
81
Right (Win)
すみのえのまつがはひねをまくらにてなみうちそふるしぐれをぞきく
| suminoe no matsu ga haine o makura nite nami uchisouru shigure o zo kiku | At Suminoe Upon the crawling pine roots Have I made my pillow, while Laced with the breaking waves I listen to the showers. |
Lord Naganori
82
The Left’s configuration of ‘the rustling of the leaves invites’, while dozing on one’s journey in the shadow of a mountain, sounds pleasant. While I do wonder about the Right’s diction—concluding with ‘listen to the showers’—in addition to ‘laced with the breaking waves’ sounding pleasant, it also adds the conception of waves beneath ‘the pines of Suminoe’, doesn’t it. I make the Right the winner.
Round Fifteen
Left
みちしばのつゆわけきつるたびごろもしぐるるよははほしぞわづらふ
| michishiba no tsuyu wakekitsuru tabigoromo shigururu yowa wa hoshi zo wazurau | Through the roadside grasses Dew have I come forging— My traveller’s garb In a midnight shower I’d dry—what trouble ‘tis, indeed! |
Hyōenokami
79
Right (Win)
しぐれするおとにいくたびねざめしてくさのまくらにあかしかぬらむ
| shiguresuru oto ni iku tabi nezameshite kusa no makura ni akashikanuramu | The showers’ Sound, so many times Has wakened me, so On my grassy pillow It seems the dawn can never come! |
Michichika
80
The Left’s ‘roadside grasses’ have nothing remarkable about them and, what’s more, fail to link to anything. The Right has a charming conception of feeling the dawn will never come to a grassy pillow, but as in the poem ‘On a winter’s night / How many times / Have I awakened, / Deep in thought, my dwelling’s / Door-crack letting in the light?’, it is more charming to refer to the difficulty of greeting the dawn at the end of a winter’s night. This poem has the speaker being woken countless times by the sound of a shower and seems to convey the feeling of dozing on a dew-drenched pillow, doesn’t it. With that being said, the Right does appear to have some genuine emotion behind it. I would say it wins.
Round Six
Left (Tie)
たびねするこやのしのやのひまをなみもらぬしぐれにぬるるそでかな
| tabinesuru koya no shinoya no hima o nami moranu shigure ni nururu sode kana | Dozing on my journey In Koya, beneath dwarf-bamboo thatch, No gaps has it, so No drips fall from the showers, yet Still my sleeves are soaked! |
Kunisuke
61
Right
しぐれつつものぞかなしきわすれぐさまくらにむすぶきしのたびねは
| shiguretsutsu mono zo kanashiki wasuregusa makura ni musubu kishi no tabine wa | In the ever-falling showers, I am sad, indeed, so Of forgetful day-lily My pillow will I weave, Napping on my travels by the coast… |
Horikawa
62
The Left’s poem is not bad in configuration and diction, but I would have preferred it had it said ‘no drips fall from the showers, too, yet’. As for the Right, saying that one is napping on one’s travels on the coast at Sumiyoshi, having woven a pillow from forgetful day-lilies does, indeed, sound evocative, but it would have been more so had there been a reason for the reference to day-lilies earlier in the poem. These tie, don’t they.
Round Five
Left (Win)
はれくもりしぐれするよはまつがねのまくらをえこそさだめざりけれ
| harekumori shiguresuru yo wa matsu ga ne no makura o e koso sadamezarikere | Clear then clouded With showers is the night, When pine roots do My pillow make I cannot decide at all…[1] |
Asamune
59
Right
かみなづきしぐるるよはのたびやかたもるとはなしにぬるるそでかな
| kaminazuki shigururu yowa no tabiyakata moru to wa nashi ni nururu sode kana | In the Godless Month Showers at midnight At traveller’s lodge Should drench me not, yet Soaked are my sleeves! [2] |
Kanetsuna
60
The style of both Left and Right sounds elegant. However, with regard to the Right’s poems, while I am well accustomed to hearing that one would not be drenched at a lodge, the combination of the diction of ‘showers’ and ‘soaked’ would have been better avoided. The conclusion of the Left, with ‘pine roots’ and sequencing sounds pleasant. Thus, the Left wins.
[1] Alluding to: Topic unknown. よひよひに枕さだめむ方もなしいかにねし夜か夢に見えけむ yoi yoi ni / makura sadamemu / kata mo nashi / ika ni neshi yo ka / yume ni miekemu ‘Night after night / To decide upon my pillow / I cannot do, at all / How can I sleep the night away / And see you in my dreams?’ Anonymous (KKS XI: 516)
[2] Alluding to: Composed in place of an islander from Ulleungdo. 故郷有母秋風涙 旅館無人暮雨魂 kokyō ni haha ari aki no kaze no namida / ryokan ni hito nashi bō no Tamashii ‘My mother lies in my ancient home; my tears overflow with the autumn wind, as / Alone in my traveller’s lodgings, the rain at dusk draws out my soul.’ Tamenori (Shinsen rōeishū 606)
Round Nine
Left (Tie)
秋はぎを草の枕にむすびてや妻恋ひかねて鹿のふすらん
| akihagi o kusa no makura ni musubite ya tsuma koikanete shika no fusuran | The autumn bush clover For a grassy pillow Has he woven—is that why Unable to love his mate The stag seems to lie? |
Koreyuki
41
Right
妻こふる秋にしなればさをしかの床の山とてうちもふされじ
| tsuma kouru aki ni shi nareba saoshika no toko no yama tote uchi mo fusareji | He yearns for his mate In autumn, above all, so In the stag’s Bed among the mountains He cannot lay him down, it seems. |
Arifusa
42
The Left isn’t bad, but isn’t there Controller Kore’ie’s poem:
秋萩を草の枕にむすぶ夜はちかくもしかのこゑをきくかな
| akihagi o kusa no makura ni musubu yo wa chikaku mo shika no koe o kiku kana | The autumn bush clover For a grassy pillow I weave tonight— Close by, truly, a stag’s Bell I hear! [1] |
While there is this earlier example, neither core nor the conceptions of these poems are the same, and as the Right’s poem is not all that good, after careful consideration I make this a tie.
[1] On hearing a stag at his lodgings. KYS (3) III: 224
Round Nineteen
Left (Win)
うちはらふ枕のちりもかくれなくあれたる宿をてらす月影
| uchiharau makura no chiri mo kakurenaku aretaru yado o terasu tsukikage | Needing to be swept away, The dust upon my pillow Cannot be concealed In my dilapidated dwelling, when The moonlight shines within… |
Taifu
37
Right
秋の夜の月みる袖におく露やひるにかはれるしるしなるらん
| aki no yo no tsuki miru sode ni oku tsuyu ya hiru ni kawareru shirushi naruran | On an autumn night Upon my sleeves, when gazing at the moon, Fall dewdrops— That all is changed from daytime Might they be a sign? |
Yorisuke
38
In both the moon is bright, and I feel they reflect the essential meaning of the topic, but as its diction is currently slightly more familiar, I make the Left the winner. It would be possible to call this a tie, too, though.
