Topic unknown.
おく露もしづ心なき秋かぜにみだれてさけるまののはぎ原
| oku tsuyu mo shizukokoronaki akikaze ni midarete sakeru mano no hagiwara | The falling dew, too, Is unsettled by The autumn wind’s Confusion of the blooming Bush clover groves in Mano. |
Kii, from the Residence of Imperial Princess Sukeko
Left (Win).
萩の葉にかはりし風の秋の聲やがて野分の露砕く也
| hagi no ha ni kawarishi kaze no aki no koe yagate nowaki no tsuyu kudakunari |
Bush clover leaves Brushed by the breeze Speak of autumn; Swift comes the gale, Scattering dewdrops… |
355
Right.
靡き行く尾花が末に浪越えて眞野の野分に續く濱風
| nabikiyuku obana ga sue ni nami koete mano no nowaki ni tsuzuku hamakaze |
Streaming Miscanthus fronds Wave At Mano in the gales Born from breezes off the beaches. |
356
The Left’s ‘speak of autumn’ (aki no koe) and the Right’s ‘born from’ (tsuzuku) are each found unsatisfactory by the opposing team.
Shunzei states, ‘Both the poems of the Left and Right have been found unsatisfactory by a number of modern poets, and is this not reasonable? However, the Left’s “Brushed by the breeze speak of autumn” (kawarishi kaze no aki no koe) is particularly fine. The Right’s “born from” is not a turn of phrase which could be considered pleasant; starting with “streaming” (nabikiyuku) and then continuing to “breezes off the beaches” (hamakaze) which lead to “Mano in the gales” (mano no nowaki ni) suggests an implicit meaning, but the Left’s upper and lower sections are finer. It should win.’
Left (Win).
夕風の眞野の萩原吹くまゝに閨荒れぬとや鶉鳴らん
| yūkaze no mano no hagiwara fuku mama ni neya arenu to ya uzura nakuran |
As the evening breeze across Mano’s bush clover meadow Does blow, Their roost disturbed, perhaps, Quail burst into cry. |
341
Right.
風の音花の色にもしるかりつ鶉鳴べき野邊の氣色は
| kaze no oto hana no iro ni mo shirukaritsu uzura nakubeki nobe no keshiki wa |
The sound of wind, and The grasses’ hues Do tell it: ‘Tis fit that quails cry Upon a scene of plains. |
342
The Right have no criticisms to make of the Left’s poem. The Left simply remark that having both iro and keshiki (which use the character 色) is ‘a fault’.
Shunzei’s judgement is that, ‘the Left’s “does blow” (fuku mama ni), followed by “their roost disturbed, perhaps” (neya arenu to ya) is not a particularly expression. The Right’s, “do tell it” (shirukaritsu) is somewhat old-fashioned; I would not regard it as a fault, but I do regret it. Thus, the “roost” should win.’