Left
をしとおもふいのちにかへてあかつきのわかれのみちはいかでやめてむ
| oshi to omou inochi ni kaete akatsuki no wakare no michi wa ikade yametemu | Filled with regret, This life I would exchange: On dawn’s Parting path How can I stop my steps? |
30
Right
あけぬとてあかずしきみをわかるればこころはゆかぬものにざりける
| akenu tote akazu shi kimi o wakarureba kokoro wa yukanu mono ni zarikeru | When at dawn, Unsatisfied, from you, my love, I part, My heart goes nowhere At all! |
31
Left
ゆふざれもさらにまたれずあさぼらけおきゆくみちのつゆとけぬべし
| yūzare mo sara ni matarezu asaborake okiyuku michi no tsuyu to kenubeshi | For eventide, Again, I cannot wait, but At the dawning Rise and go—my path filled With lasting dew, it seems. |
24
Right
あはぬよはわびてもねにきあかつきのわかれのみちはまどはれぞする
| awanu yo wa wabite mo ne ni ki akatsuki no wakare no michi wa madoware zo suru | Nights we fail to meet Are desolate, but when I have come and slept with you The dawn’s Parting path Leaves me lost! |
25
Round Three
Left
おぼつかないづれいづちのみちならむしをりも見えずふれるしらゆき
| obotsukana izure izuchi no michi naramu shiori mo miezu fureru shirayuki | How strange! Which is which Path, I wonder? Even the laden branches go unseen In the falling snow, so white. |
Retired from the World
47
Right
雪ふかみとなりのさともうづもれてけぶりのみこそしるしなりけれ
| yuki fukami tonari no sato mo uzumorete keburi nomi koso shirushi narikere | So deep the snow, that The estate next door Is buried; Trails of smoke are the only Sign it’s there! |
Senior Assistant Minister Past Lecturer
48
The poem of the Left’s ‘even the laden branches go unseen’ and what follows is both poetic and a familiar usage. As for the Right’s poem, how can ‘the estate next door be buried’ unless it’s the only place that snow is falling and nowhere else? Thus, I feel that the snow falling to conceal the broken branches has more feeling to it.
The Left’s ‘which path’ gives me the impression that there are many of them. This sense of multiplicity is something I can imagine—which is a good thing—and, I think, see me using myself. ‘Laden branches’ are something which occur on peaks deep in the mountains. It might be a bit remiss of me, but I wonder whether I can imagine snow drifting so high on a mountain peak?
As for the Right’s poem, we use ‘next door’ when there’s a fence of some sort between one estate and another, don’t we? As such, saying that the smoke is the sign is rather vague. Even if there’s been a quite extraordinary snowfall, there would be something other to notice as well as the smoke, so this is an error, isn’t it. It would be acceptable to refer to smoke if the estate were further away.
The Middle of Autumn
Left
大空の道みえぬまでふる霧は秋のなかばにとめむとかもし
| ōzora no michi mienu made furu kiri wa aki no nakaba ni tomemu to kamo shi | Until all the endless sky Ways unseen are Descend the mists In the heart of autumn— Will they stay a while, I wonder? |
15
Right
女郎花おほくの秋にあふものをからくもあだにおもひけるかな
| ominaeshi ōku no aki ni au mono o karaku mo ada ni omoikeru kana | Maidenflowers Many in autumn Does one meet, but Bitterly, faithless Do I feel they are! |
16
Round Twenty
Left (Tie)
みのうさをわすれぐさこそきしにおふれむべすみよしとあまもいひけれ
| mi no usa o wasuregusa koso kishi ni oure mube sumiyoshi to ama mo iikere | The misery of my life I forget among the day lilies Growing on the shore— No wonder, Sumiyoshi is a pleasant place Say the fisherfolk, too! |
Kunisuke
139
Right
よをわたるみちをたがへてまどふかないづれのかたにゆきかくれまし
| yo o wataru michi o tagaete madou kana izure no kata ni yukikakuremashi | Passing through this world My path I have mistaken and Lost become! Which way should I go to hide myself away? |
Horikawa
140
The Left has the poem ‘For folk forget among the day lilies / Growing there, or so they say.’[1] in mind and its conception, drawing upon ‘The misery of my life’ is pleasant, I have to say. The Right has a charming configuration for such a poem, but its similarity to the poem by Lord Toshiyori, ‘Deep in depression on Mount Wabuka / On my path through the world / Have I mis-stepped’[2] means that I feel it sounds hackneyed, yet the final section ‘Which way should I’ and what follows, does sound moving. I should say that these tie.
[1] Composed and sent to someone he knew who had gone to Sumiyoshi. 住吉とあまはつぐともながゐすな人忘草おふといふなり sumiyoshi to / ama wa tsugu tomo / nagai su na / hito wasuregusa / ou to iu nari ‘Sumiyoshi is a pleasant place to stay, / So say the fisher-folk, yet / Do not stay there long, in Nagai; / For folk forget among the day lilies / Growing there, or so they say.’ Mibu no Tadamine (KKS XVII: 917)
[2] [One of] a hundred poem sequence on feeling regret and shame over one’s fate. わぶか山よにふるみちをふみたがへまどひつたよふ身をいかにせん wabukayama / yo ni furu michi o / fumitagae / madoitsu tayou / mi o ika ni sen ‘Deep in depression on Mount Wabuka / On my path through the world / Have I mis-stepped, and / Wandering lost, / O, what am I to do?’Minamoto no Toshiyori (Sanboku kikashū 1427)
Round Two
Left (Win)
秋霧のたえまにみゆる紅葉ばやたちのこしたる錦なるらん
| akigiri no taema ni miyuru momijiba ya tachinokoshitaru nishiki naruran | The autumn mists have Gaps revealing Scarlet leaves— Remaining offcuts of Brocade, perhaps? |
Lord Tsunemori
75
Right
もみぢちる立田の山はえぞこえぬ錦をふまむ道をしらねば
| momiji chiru tatsuta no yama wa e zo koenu nishiki o fumamu michi o shiraneba | Scattered with scarlet leaves Tatsuta Mountain I cannot cross, for To tread upon a brocade Path I know not how… |
Lord Yorimasa
76
The Right is a poem on fallen leaves and blossom—something about which many people have composed in the recent past and modern times, too. The Left sounds as if it truly depicts things as they are. Its overall construction is lovely, too, so it should win.
