ukiyo oba mata nani ni ka wa nagusamen hana ni sakidatsu inochi to mogana
In this cruel world Is there yet anything else To console me? Before the blossoms’ departure I would my life do the same…
Court Lady Taifu 15
Right
桜さく春の山風みねこせば雪ふりつもる谷のほそみち
sakura saku haru no yamakaze mine koseba yuki furitsumoru tani no hosomichi
When in cherry-blooming Spring, the mountain breezes Cross the peaks Snow falls and piles high Upon the narrow valley paths.
Moromitsu 16
Both poems are smooth, and on that basis, I would say that the Right is superior, but it has an archaic element, while the Left lacks anything unusual about it, so this is a tie of quality.
chiri chirazu hana yori hoka no iro zo naki kasanaru yama no mine no harukaze
Scattered, or not, Other than the blossoms’ Hues are there none Layered upon the mountain Peaks by the breeze in springtime.[1]
Shō 27
Right
かづらきやたかまの山はうづもれて空に棚引く春のしら雲
kazuragi ya takama no yama wa uzumorete sora ni tanabiku haru no shirakumo
In Kazuragi Takama Mountain Is buried by Trailing across the skies Clouds of white in springtime.
Nagatsuna 28
The Left’s poem appears fine. The Right’s poem, having ‘Takama Mountain is buried’ is both pretentious and does not link to anything. The Left must win.
[1] An allusive variation on: On a folding screen for the Kamo Virgin, for the place showing people going along a mountain path. ちりちらずきかまほしきをふるさとの花見て帰る人もあはなん chiri chirazu / kikamahoshiki o / furusato no / hana mitekaeru / hito mo awanan ‘Are they scattered, or not, is / What I would ask, but / The ancient estate’s / Blossom having seen and returned— / Those folk I would have you meet.’ Ise (SIS I: 49)
shirakumo no asa tatsu yama no karanishiki eda ni hito mura harukaze zo fuku
Clouds of white Arising with the morning on the mountain: Cathay brocade In a single bunch upon the branch Blown by the breeze of spring! [1]
Supernumerary Major Counsellor Moto’ie 21
Right (Win)
かづらきや嶺の桜のさきしより心の空にかかるしら雲
kazuragi ya mine no sakura no sakishi yori kokoro no sora ni kakaru shirakumo
Upon Kazuragi Peak, the cherries Have bloomed and ever since The heavens of my heart are Draped with clouds of white.
Lord Nobunari 22
The Left’s poem has ‘Arising with the morning on the mountain: Cathay brocade in a single bunch upon the branch’ and, while it mentions spring breezes in its final section and does not fail to reflect the surface appearance of its source poem, conveys a feeling of scarlet leaves without mentioning blossom or cherry, which I have to say is something of a fault. The Right’s poem does not seem poor and lacks any faults worth mentioning, so it should win.