Left (Tie)
東路や萱津の原の朝霧に起き別るらん袖はものかは
azumaji ya
kayatsu no hara no
asagiri ni
okiwakaruran
sode wa mono ka wa | On the eastern roads,
Upon the field of Kayatsu
With the morning mists
Does he rise and part, but
Are his sleeves as mine? |
Lord Ari’ie
1161
Right
さまざまにうつる心も鏡山影見ぬ人を恋ふるものかは
samazama ni
utsuru kokoro mo
kagamiyama
kage minu hito o
kouru mono ka wa | Many
Hearts does she attract upon
Mirror Mount,
But with one whose face remains unseen
Would I fall in love? |
Lord Takanobu
1162
The Right state: the Left’s poem is fine. The Left state: the Right’s poem has no faults to mention.
In judgement: both poems are certainly by men entranced by thoughts of player-girls. The configuration and diction of ‘are his sleeves as mine?’ (sode wa mono ka wa) and ‘would I fall in love?’ (kouru mono ka wa) are both not unpleasant. Thus, I make this a tie.
Left
頼むなるあさけ神しも幣はせん君が心やわれになびくと
tanomu naru
asake kami shimo
nusa wa sen
kimi ga kokoro ya
ware ni nabiku to | Worship she does
The goddess Asake, so should even
I make her an offering?
Then might my lady’s heart
Trail in my direction… |
Kenshō
1153
Right (Win)
鏡山君に心やうつるらむいそぎ立たれぬ旅衣かな
kagamiyama
kimi ni kokoro ya
utsururamu
isogi tatarenu
tabigoromo kana | Upon Mirror Mount
Has my heart
Found lodging? For
In haste to rise and don
My travelling garb, I am not! |
Lord Tsune’ie
1154
Left and Right state: there are no faults to mention in either poem.
In judgement: both Left and Right here refer to a ‘person’ (kimi), with the Left’s ‘making her an offering’ (nusa wa sen) that she might ‘trail in my direction’ (ware ni nabiku ya), while the Right’s has left his heart on Mirror Mount and ‘is not in haste to rise and don his travelling garb’ (isogi tatarenu tabigoromo): each of these poems is evocative, and makes effective use of wordplay, with the Left’s ‘make her an offering’ certainly resembling something I have come across previously, but the initial ‘goddess Asake’ is poor. The Right’s ‘Mirror Mount’ (kagami yama) is something I am familiar with, and this has a gentle tone. Thus, the Right wins.
'Simply moving and elegant'