Tag Archives: mists

SZS VI: 420

Composed when he had gone to the Uji River.

朝ぼらけ宇治の川ぎり絶々にあらはれ渡る瀬々の網代木

asaborake
udi no kaFagiri
taedae ni
araFarewataru
sese no aziroki
At the dawn
The mists across Uji River
Fade in and out
Drifting across
The fishing nets in the rapids.

Middle Councillor [Fujiwara no] Sadayori (995-1045)
中納言定頼

Autumn II: 23

Left (Win).

いづ方へ羽かく鴫の立ちぬらんまだ明やらぬ霧の迷ひに

izukata e
hane kaku shigi no
tachinuran
mada akeyaranu
kiri no mayoi ni
From where is it that
The snipes’ wing-beats
Do come?
With no daybreak yet,
They are lost amidst the mists…

Lord Kanemune.

405

Right.

ほのかにも鴫の羽音ぞ聞ゆなる殘ことなき秋の寢覺に

honoka ni mo
shigi no haoto zo
kikoyunaru
nokoro koto naki
aki no nezame ni
Faintly
Snipes’ wing-beats
Do I hear;
A flurry of thoughts
On waking in autumn…

Jakuren.

406

Neither Left nor Right has any criticisms to make this round.

Shunzei’s judgement: Although both poems seem without fault, ‘a flurry of thoughts’ (nokoru koto naki) suggests all the sorrows of autumn, but the initial part of the poem states that all the poet can hear is the snipes’ wing-beats – and nothing else – so there is a disagreement in what the poem is expressing. I do wonder about the initial line of the Left’s poem, but it should win.

Autumn II: 18

Left (Win).

山遠き門田の末は霧晴て穂波に沈む有明の月

yama tōki
kadota no sue wa
kiri harete
honami ni shizumu
ariake no tsuki
By the distant mountains,
At the farthest reach of fields before my gates,
The mists are clearing, and
Sinking amongst the waves of rice-ears is
The dawntime moon…

A Servant Girl.

395

Right.

夕月夜ほのめく影も哀なり稲葉の風は袖に通ひて

yūzukuyo
honomeku kage mo
awarenari
inaba no kaze wa
sode ni kayoite
The autumn evening moon’s
Faint light is
Moving, indeed;
The wind upon the rice-stalks
Passing o’er my sleeves…

Lord Takanobu.

396

The Right simply say that the Left’s poem is ‘good’. The Left have no criticisms of the Right’s poem.

Shunzei’s judgement: The Left’s ‘dawntime moon’ (ariake no tsuki) and the Right’s ‘early evening moon’ are both deeply moving; the Left, continuing with ‘at the farthest reach of fields before my gates, the mists are clearing’ (kadota no sue wa kiri harete) is particularly fine, I feel. ‘Sinking amongst the waves of rice-ears’ (honami ni shizumu) is certainly technically proficient, and yet lacks a certain profundity. And yet, the initial ‘By the distant mountains’ (yama tōki) show a true depth. It should win.