saoshika no fushido o asami fuku kaze ni yowa ni naku ne zo fukaku nariyuku
The stag’s Resting place disturbed by The gusting wind At midnight his belling cry Comes from deeper in the mountains.
Chikanari 77
Right
さらでだにね覚かなしき秋風に夜しもなどか鹿の鳴くらん
sarade dani nezame kanashiki akikaze ni yoru shimo nado ka shika no nakuran
Even were it not so, To waken is so sad With the cruel autumn wind; Why is it that above all at night The stag should cry so?
Ie’kiyo 78
The Left poem’s ‘at midnight his belling cry comes from deeper’ does not sound especially elegant. The Right poem composes ‘why is it that above all at night the stag should cry so’, sounding like it is only at night that stags bell, but stags do this all the time in autumn. The Ancient and Modern also has the composition, ‘Mud-daubers buzzing / In the autumn bush clover; / Leaving with morning’.[1] The poems of Left and Right have no merits or faults between them—they should tie.
[1] This is a quotation from: Topic unknown. すがるなく秋のはぎはらあさたちて旅行く人をいつとかまたむ sugaru naku / aki no hagiwara / asa tachite / tabi yuku hito o / itsu to ka matan ‘Mud-daubers buzzing / In the autumn bush clover; / Leaving with morning, / Away on a journey: for him, / How long must I wait?’ Anonymous (KKS VIII: 366)
ono ga sumu mine no kogarashi samuki yo wa shika mo momiji no koromo kirurashi
Where he dwells upon The peak, the bitter wind On a night so chill, for The stag, of scarlet leaves Does seem to make a robe.
The Supernumerary Major Counsellor 69
Right
すみのぼる月にうらむる声すなりねられぬ鹿や夜寒なるらん
suminoboru tsuki ni uramuru koesunari nerarenu shika ya yozamu naruran
Climbing clearly At the moon, in despair Does he cry— Sleepless, does the stag Feel night’s chill, perhaps?
Nobunari 70
The Left’s poem has ‘the stag, of scarlet leaves does seem to make a robe’ which sounds charming, and the Right’s poem has ‘sleepless, does the stag feel night’s chill, perhaps’, which appears refined. Thus, they tie.
au koto o sono toshitsuki to chigiraneba inochi ya koi no kagiri naruramu
That we might meet For months and years She has not promised, so My life will my love’s Limit be, no doubt!
Lord Shigemoto 69
Right
よとともにもえこそわたれ我が恋は不二の高根のけぶりならねど
yo to tomo ni moe koso watare wa ga koi wa fuji no takane no keburi naranedo
With the coming of the night Ever burning is My love, though From Fuji’s peak Smoke it is not…
Lord Toshitaka 70
Toshiyori states: the first poem doesn’t seem bad. The second poem nothing but cliched. Thus, the first poem should win.
Mototoshi states: while love lasting lifelong without even a promise to meet over years and months is a painfully moving conception, someone burning every night is dear, too. Thus, it’s not inferior and these are of the same quality.
