ukimi yue yogaruru toko no samushiro wa shikishinobitemo kai ya nakaramu
My cruelty was it that Kept him from my bed these many nights; My blanket: Should I spread it and think of him alone, Would that have no effect at all?
Both Left and Right together state: we find no faults to mention.
In judgement: both of the ‘blankets’ (samushiro) of the Left and Right here seem elegant. The configuration of the Left’s ‘my cruelty was it that kept him from my bed these many nights; my blanket’ (ukimi yue yogaruru toko no samushiro) and the conception of the Right’s ‘sick am I of love – in an empty bed’s’ (koiwabinu munashiki toko no) are such that I find both difficult to put down. I must make the round a tie.
The Gentlemen of the Right state: ‘What might it mean?’ (nani nare ya) fails to match. Ending ‘longed for’ (matsu) is overly definite. The Gentlemen of the Left state: what has hunting in the skies got to do with love?
In judgement: it has been said that ‘cock’s crow’ (tori no ne) and ‘what might it mean’ fail to match. Then there is also ‘definite’ (futsugiri). These are nothing but expressions which I do not know and find difficult to understand. ‘The sparrowhawk hunting in the skies’ (hashitaka no sora toru hodo) and ‘take his ease in the trees’ (koi ni yasumuran) both have only a faint conception of love, and I wonder about alluding to hawking. The Left failing to match, too, may be a term used in coursing for deer. Well, even if the deer do not match, as it has the conception of love, the Left should win.
The Gentlemen of the Right state: the Left’s poem has no faults to mention. The Gentlemen of the Left state: it is difficult to grasp that there is nothing said from ‘when will it come? On Ibuki’ (itsu to ibuki). ‘Moza, thus’ (sashimo) does not fit with the end of the poem.
In judgement: I do wonder about the sound of beginning a poem with momoyogusa. Furthermore, originally, the ‘one hundred nights’ (momoyo) would be placed upon the shaft stand. ‘When on Ibuki grows moxa’ (itsu to ibuki no sashimo), too, just as with Inaba’s pines, places too much stress on the peak. The poems are of the same quality and tie.
The Gentlemen of the Right state: in what way are the the waves ‘allowed’ in ‘let them on my sleeves’ (sode ni makasuru)? The Left state: the Right uses Tsukuba, followed by ‘close packed trees, endless’ (himanaki), and although this does have the same meaning, it would be more customary to use ‘verdant’ (shigeki).
In judgement: although the Left’s ‘so let them on my sleeves’ (sode ni makasete) sounds somewhat unclear, the Right’s ‘Tsukuba Mountain’s close packed trees, endless’ suggests many layers of reed-thatch, I think. ‘As the waves break over the mountain’ (yama kosu nami) seems to reach greater heights.
