すみの江におふてふ松の枝しげみ葉ごとに千代の数ぞこもれる
| suminoe ni ou chō matsu no eda shigemi ha goto ni chiyo no kazu zo komoreru | At Suminoe Grow, they say, pines with Boughs so lush: Every single needle, a thousand ages’ in Number does contain! |
660
Tag Archives: number
Eien narabō uta’awase 33
Round Five
Left
君がよはながゐのうらのはまかぜにたつしらなみのかずもしられず
| kimi ga yo wa nagai no ura no hamakaze ni tatsu shiranami no kazu mo shirarezu | My Lord’s reign: At Nagai Bay The beach breezes Rouse the whitecaps In number entirely unknown. |
Controller’s Graduate
65
Right
きみがよをまつちのやまのこまつばらちよのけしきを見るぞうれしき
| kimi ga yo o matsuchi no yama no komatsubara chiyo no keshiki o miru zo ureshiki | My Lord’s reign Awaiting upon Matsuchi Mountain The pine seedling groves The sight for a thousand ages Joyfully will see! |
Kerin’in Graduate
66
It’s impossible to decide on a winner or loser between the Left and the Right here in terms of conception, diction and overall style. To put it in general terms, I must make this round a further tie.
Neither Left nor Right is remarkable, but nor do they have any faults to mention. I’d make this round a tie.
Eien narabō uta’awase 32
Round Four
Left
うちむれていはねにねざすこまつばのきぎのちとせはきみぞかぞへむ
| uchimurete iwane ni nezasu komatsuba no kigi no chitose wa kimi zo kazoemu | Crowding At the crags’ foot, roots stretching, The dwarf pines’ needles with The trees’ thousand years— My Lord may count them all! |
Cell of the Fragrant Elephant
63
Right (Win)
たとふべきものこそなけれ君がよははまのまさごもかずなからめや
| tatoubeki mono koso nakere kimi ga yo wa hama no masago mo kazu nakarame ya | A suitable metaphor Is there none, at all! My Lord’s reign: Even the fair sands on the shore Would not exceed its number… |
Cell of Everlasting Truth
64
Both of the Left poem’s expressions, ‘crowding’ and ‘dwarf pines’ needles’, seem to sound awkward. ‘Crowding’ is used of cranes, while it would have been preferable to say ‘the needles of the dwarf pines’. The poem of the Right is not especially charming, but it is in a familiar style, so I feel that ‘the fair sands’ number’ is superior.
I feel that ‘crowding’ is better applied to human beings. Perhaps there’s a conception here of looking down on each and every one? This is a mistake, isn’t it? In addition, what is ‘dwarf pines’ needles’? Maybe the poet is trying to say ‘the needles of the dwarf pines’? Is there a prior poem as precedent? It’s a piece of awkward-sounding diction! The Right’s poem appears straightforward, but without errors.
Eien narabō uta’awase 30
Round Two
Left (Win)
君がよはあまのいはとをいづるひのいくめぐりてふかずもしられず
| kimi ga yo wa ama no iwato o izuru hi no iku meguri chō kazu mo shirarezu | My Lord’s reign: Since from the stone door in the heavens Emerged the sun, ‘How many circuits has she made?’, they ask— A number quite unknown. |
Lord Saburō
59
Right
みかさやまふもとのさとはあめのしたふるにおもひもあらじとぞ思ふ
| mikasayama fumoto no sato wa ame no shita furu ni omoi mo araji to zo omou | At Mikasa Moutain’s Foot, in a hamlet ‘neath the heavens Passing time—painful thoughts There I’d have not a one, I feel! |
Ushigimi
60
The Left’s poem goes beyond the general flow of diction, containing mystery and depth. I have to say it is truly superior. While the Right’s poem has no faults to mention, it has yet to emerge from prosaic expression. Thus, the Left wins.
The ‘stone door in the heavens’ is that which the supreme sun-deity Amaterasu stood before and then entered. But when we’re talking about dawn breaking at the end of night, we say ‘gates of heaven’. Which of these two was did the poet have in mind, I wonder? If he was thinking of dawn breaking, then the usage is erroneous, but even if he did mean ‘stone door of the heavens’, then do we use this about the circuits of the sun? This is vague. In addition, the final ‘they ask’ is difficult to pronounce. As for the Right’s poem, ‘‘neath the heavens’ lacks emotion. The dual use of ‘thoughts’ and ‘feels’, as I have already remarked, is not an error, but does grate on the ears a bit.
Eien narabō uta’awase 20
Round Six
Left
あきの夜のありあけのつきはくまもなしあさくらやまもなのみこそあらめ
| aki no yo no ariake no tsuki wa kuma mo nashi asakurayama mo na nomi koso arame | At an autumn night’s Dawn, the moon Has not a cloud before it; The Mount of Morning Dark May be so in name alone! |
Cell of Fragrant Cloud
39
Right (Win)
秋の月あかしのうらはなびきもにすむわれからのかずも見つべし
| aki no tsuki akashi no ura wa nabikimo ni sumu warekara no kazu mo mitsubeshi | The autumn moon is Bright above Akashi Bay; Among the trailing seaweed Dwell tiny shrimp, Their number now clear to my eyes. |
Cell of Compassionate Light
40
The poem of the Left is an entirely tedious composition. It simply states that a cloudless autumn moon does not fit with the place name, Mount Asakura. The moon at ‘dawn’ is the same as the moon at ‘dawntime’, while Mount Asakura is used when dawn has completely finished. As for the poem of the Right, while the moon is described as bright, it doesn’t seem right to then make it a poem about trailing seaweed—this does not seem charming at all. This round, too, there’s not much more I can say than that.
As I have already mentioned, ‘moon at dawn’ in the poem of the Left is an expression which it is impossible to say is praiseworthy. Even more so, really, the concluding ‘may be so in name alone’ just says ‘is so in name alone’, doesn’t it? It’s contrary to reason to say that it’s fluent and thus, and I say this reluctantly, it’s difficult to understand. As for the Right’s poem, I don’t understand this either: it ought to be ‘their numbers, too, I have been able to see’—saying ‘their number now clear to my eyes’ implies that you haven’t previously been able to see them up to that point, and it’s vague about when you have. Even so, it’s getting light, so the light of the moon at dawn seems superior.
Sumiyoshi-sha uta’awase kaō ni-nen 71
Round Twenty-One
Left (Tie)
かずならぬみこそおもへばうれしけれうきにつけてぞよをもいとはむ
| kazu naranu mi koso omoeba ureshikere uki ni tsukete zo yo o mo itowamu | Not even numbered among folk Am I, thinking that Fills me with joy, but All the cruelties of this world Make me wish to leave it. |
Asamune
141
Right
ながらへばかくてのみやははてむとてすぎにしかたはなぐさみもしき
| nagaraeba kakute nomi ya wa hatemu tote suginishi kata wa nagusami mo shiki | Should I live on, then Being simply as I am Would I reach my end, I wonder? In days gone by I had some hope of consolation… |
Kanetsuna
142
The sequencing of the Left’s ‘Am I, thinking that’ appears elegant. The Right, starting with ‘Would I reach my end, I wonder?’ sounds overly forceful, yet the conception of saying ‘in days gone by’ is still pleasant. Thus, once again, I make this a tie.
Kinkai wakashū 248
Daikōtaigōgū daijin kiyosuke-ason ke uta’awase 33
Round Thirty-Three
Left (Tie)
人数にあらずなるみのうらに又老の浪さへよるぞかなしき
| hito kazu ni arazu narumi no ura ni mata oi no nami sae yoru zo kanashiki | Numbered among proper folk I am not, as at Narumi Bay, yet again do cruel Waves of age Break—so sad! |
Lord Kinshige
65
Right
うきながらなほをしまるる命かな後の世とてもたのみなければ
| ukinagara nao oshimaruru inochi kana nochi no yo tote mo tanominakereba | In constant suffering Still do I regret This life! For even in the world to come Can I place no trust… |
Moromitsu
66
Neither has any parts I can’t understand.
