yuku hito o nobe no obana ni manekasete iromeki tateru ominaeshi kana
Folk going by The meadows the silver grass Is made to beckon by The seductively standing Maidenflowers!
Lord Fujiwara no Suetsune, Former Junior Assistant Minister of Central Affairs 7
Right (Win)
吹くをりぞ過ぐる人をばまねきけるかぜや尾花の心なるらん
fuku ori zo suguru hito oba manekikeru kaze ya obana no kokoro naruran
When it blows, Folk passing by Are beckoned— Does the wind the silver grasses’ Heart become?
Minor Controller of the Left Fujiwara no Tamechika 8
The Left appears to have nothing remarkable about it, while the Right’s initial three sections sound clumsy, yet appear to have some degree of conception, so I would say it wins.
The Left’s ‘speak of autumn’ (aki no koe) and the Right’s ‘born from’ (tsuzuku) are each found unsatisfactory by the opposing team.
Shunzei states, ‘Both the poems of the Left and Right have been found unsatisfactory by a number of modern poets, and is this not reasonable? However, the Left’s “Brushed by the breeze speak of autumn” (kawarishi kaze no aki no koe) is particularly fine. The Right’s “born from” is not a turn of phrase which could be considered pleasant; starting with “streaming” (nabikiyuku) and then continuing to “breezes off the beaches” (hamakaze) which lead to “Mano in the gales” (mano no nowaki ni) suggests an implicit meaning, but the Left’s upper and lower sections are finer. It should win.’
The Right state that the Left’s poem has no faults. The Left state that, ‘“On the quails’ roost – how like rain” (uzura ga neya no ame) suggests that this is what it actually is.’
Shunzei disagrees: ‘It is not the case that uzura ga neya no ame definitely implies that it is actually rain, particularly with the scene set by dew on silvergrass. However, “beside my bed” (toko o narabete) is particularly attractive in expression. It should win.’
