Round Four

Left (M – Win)

水鳥の青葉の山やいかならん梢をそむる今朝のしぐれに

mizutori no aoba no yama ya ika naran kozue o somuru kesa no shigure ni

Waterfowl fly above Aoba Mountain— O, what is to become Of the treetops dyed By this morning’s shower?

Lord Akinaka
7

Right (T – Win)

かきくもり蜑の小ぶねにふく苫の下とほるまで時雨れしにけり

kakikumori ama no obune ni fuku toma no shita tōru made shigureshinikeri

Clouds rake in above The fisher’s tiny boat— Through its rush-woven roof And even beneath A shower has fallen.

Lord Michitsune
8

Toshiyori states: Continuing on from ‘Waterfowl fly above / Aoba Mountain’ with ‘the treetops dyed’ is simple and straightforward. The latter poem’s emphasis on the fisher’s tiny boat is an unexpected expression, yet because it is not a fault, I make this poem the winner.

Mototoshi states: saying ‘Waterfowl fly above / Aoba Mountain’ is extremely hackneyed, yet the poem of the Right has ‘Clouds rake in above / The fisher’s tiny boat— / Through its rush-woven roof’: both spring showers and summer ones, too, are not things which fall constantly, so it is difficult to believe that they could fall ‘even beneath’. So, I have to determine that a shower dyeing the treetops is a little better.