Tag Archives: pipe well

Love V: 9


kokoro mo shiranu
yosobito wa
mada itokenaki
oto ya kikuran
An understanding
Of my heart is lacking, so
All those strangers
Still like a child
Do speak to me – that must be why!

Lord Kanemune.

Right (Win).

nani to naku
tsutsuitsu no
kage hanareyuku
ne nomi nakarete
Was I used to playing, but
From the pipe-well
Our reflected faces have grown distant, so
I do but weep and sob…


The Right state: the Left’s poem seems a bit too young. The Left state: ‘Simply was I used to playing’ (nani to naku asobinarenuru) seems rather prosaic diction.

In judgement: although the latter part of the Left’s poem and the initial section of the Right’s are both pleasant, the Left’s use of ‘speak’ (oto) feels unnecessary. The latter section of the Right’s poem seems particularly good. It should win.


Love V: 7


tsutsui tsutsu
itsutsu ni kakeshi
take yori mo
suginu ya kayou
kokoro fukasa wa
The pipe well
Covered over:
More than its height
Have passed
The depths of our hearts.


Right (Win).

tsutsui tsu ni
kakeshi tameshi o
ika ni ware
musubi shirasen
haru no wakamizu
The pipe well
Was covered once,
So how can I
Tell you that cupping my hands
For Spring’s water, makes me young once more.

Lord Takanobu.

The Right state: the upper section of the Left’s poem is little different from its origin poem, while its lower part is grating on the ear. The Left state: the Right’s poem has no particular faults to mention.

In judgement: in addition to the use of ‘the pipe well’ (tsutsui tsu) by both Left and Right not being that unusual, the Left’s ‘pipe well’ having surpassed its height does not sound that profound in conception. ’Spring’s water, makes me young’ (haru no wakamizu) isn’t bad, so the Right wins.