Left (Win)
寝るにこそ夢も見ゆらめさ夜衣返すは浅き思なりけり
nuru ni koso
yume mo miyurame
sayogoromo
kaesu wa asaki
omoinarikeri |
Is it that I sleep
That brings me dreams of her?
Night robes
Turned inside-out bring but shallow
Feelings… |
Lord Kanemune
1125
Right
夢路まで憂き身の程はさ夜衣返すも猶や人知れぬ恋
yumeji made
uki mi no hodo wa
sayogoromo
kaesu mo nao ya
hito shirenu koi |
Even on the path of dreams
So pitiful is my lot;
My night robe
I reverse, yet
Unknown is my love… |
Jakuren
1126
The Right state: we wonder about the appropriateness of ‘Is it that I sleep’ (nuru ni koso)? The Left state: the sense of the Right’s poem is difficult to grasp.
In judgement: both Gentlemen use ‘night robe’ (sayogoromo), and while the Left’s ‘sleep’ (nuru) is ordinary enough, I do wonder a little about the suitability of the initial ‘is it that I sleep’ (nuru ni koso), but it is certainly not the case that the conception of love in the poem is weak. The Right’s ‘I reverse, yet’ (kaesu mo nao ya) is elegant, but the poem’s conception certainly lacks clarity. Having a stronger conception of love, the Left wins.
Left (Win)
夢絶えて返すかひなきさ夜衣うらみばかりを重ねつるかな
yume taete
kaesu kainaki
sayogoromo
urami bakari o
kasaneteuru kana |
My dreams have ceased, and
Pointless, it is to reverse
My night robe –
Resentment is all the
Lies upon me… |
Lord Ari’ie
1119
Right
寝る人の夢は幾度覚めぬらん返すかひなきさ夜衣かな
neru hito no
yume wa ikutabi
samenuran
kaesu kainaki
sayogoromo kana |
That sleeper has from
Dreams, how many times
Awakened?
Pointlessly reversed is
My night robe! |
Nobusada
1120
Both Gentlemen state there are no faults to mention.
In judgement: both Left and Right use a ‘pointlessly reversed night robe’ (kaesu kainaki sayogoromo), but I wonder about the impression of the Right’s ‘sleeper’ (neru hito no). The Left, from the initial ‘my dreams have ceased’ (yume taete) to the concluding section sounds fine. Thus, I must make the Left the winner.
なほざりにきたる人をや小夜衣かへすばかりの恋によそへむ
naozari ni
kitaru hito o ya
sayogoromo
kaesu bakari no
koi ni yosoemu |
Casually
Arriving, for such a man
My night robe
Would I simply strip back
In readiness for love? |
Minamoto no Shunrai
源俊頼
Left (Win).
重ねずと思ふばかりぞ小夜衣匂ひは袖に移りぬるかな
kasanezu to
omou bakari zo
sayogoromo
nioi wa sode ni
utsurinuru kana |
No piled robes, but
All I do is long for her:
Her night-robe’s
Scent upon my sleeves
Does dwell…. |
Lord Suetsune
881
Right.
匂ひ來る梢ばかりを情にて主は遠き宿の梅が枝
nioikuru
kozue bakari o
nasake nite
aruji wa tōki
yado no mume ga e |
The scent drifting
From the treetops is my only
Consolation, for
Their master is as far away
As his dwelling’s plum blossom branches… |
Nobusada
882
The Right state: the Left’s poem lacks any faults to indicate. The Left state: is the Right’s poem not composed upon the plum blossom of the house next door?
In judgement: for the topic of ‘Nearby Love’, poems composed where the lovers are in the same room are most likely winners. Even so, how close do their dwellings need to be? The Left’s latter section, ‘Her night-robe’s scent upon my sleeves’ (sayogoromo nioi wa sode ni) is certainly elegant. The Right’s poem has ‘Their master is as far away’ (aruji wa tōki). Simply because of this, it is certainly not composed on plum blossom. Still, the Left’s ‘night-robe’ (sayogoromo) seems a little superior to ‘The scent drifting from the treetops is my only consolation’ (nioikuru kozue bakari o nasake nite).
'Simply moving and elegant'