shinobine o wa ga sode nomi to omoishi o otorazarikeri hagi no shitazuyu
Secretly Upon my sleeves, alone, I thought, but ‘Twas not lesser than The dewfall ‘neath the bush clover.
Minor Captain Kin’nori, Fourth Rank 17
Right
色かはる萩の下葉の露けさは我が身のうへと成りにけるかな
iro kawaru hagi no shitaba no tsuyukesa wa wa ga mi no ue to narinikeru kana
A change of hue To the bush clover’s underleaves Drenched with dew— Upon my sorry self Has it befallen, too!
Tadasue, Senior Assistant Minister of the Sovereign’s Household 18
The image of the droplets of secretly wept upon the poet’s sleeves not being less than those of the dewdrops beneath the bush clover appears extremely charming and moving. In addition, the pain expressed by one’s sorry self being as dew-drenched as the bush clover’s underleaves—this has left my own sleeves, both left and right, seeming as soaked with dewdrops from the bush clover.
uwaba fuku ashita no hara no akikaze ni onore utsurou hagi no shitazuyu
Blowing upon the upper leaves Over Ashita Plain, The autumn breeze touches, Fading all of itself The dripping dew upon the bush clover.
Tomoshige 63
Right
今よりはたが涙とか成りぬらん下葉色づく秋萩の露
ima yori wa ta ga namida to ka narinuran shitaba irozuku akihagi no tsuyu
From now on Whose tears might They become? Colouring the underleaves Are dewdrops upon the autumn bush clover…[1]
Dharma Master Zenshin 64
Left and Right are in the same style. The Right’s poem wonders ‘whose are these tears’ and has a person’s tears as the dew upon the grass, which is something one often hears. Using dew on the grass as a person’s tears is a bit vague, yet it’s not going so far as to be a definite fault. These should tie.
[1] An allusive variation on: Topic unknown. あきはぎのしたば色づく今よりやひとりある人のいねがてにする akihagi no / shitaba irozuku / ima yori ya / hitori aru hito no / inegatenisuru ‘The autumn bush clover’s / Underleaves are colouring / From this point on, / For one all alone / Will sleep be harder to find?’ Anonymous (KKS IV: 220)
