Tag Archives: shizuku

Kanpyō no ōntoki kiku awase 5

The isle of Tamino in Tsu province. Below the chrysanthemum on the suhama was the shape of a woman gathering shellfish, sheltering beneath her sleeves.

tamino tomo
ima Fa motomezi
Fana no shiduku ni
nuremu to omoFeba
At Tamino
Shall I seek no more, but
Rise and return;
For droplets from this bloom
Shall soak me I fear.


Love VI: 24

Left (Win).

fukaki yo no
noki no shizuku o
nao amari nuru
sode no ame kana
Late at night,
From my eaves the droplets
I number up, but
Still much more drenching
Is the rainfall on my sleeves.

A Servant Girl.


kumo tozuru
yado no nokiba no
yū nagame
koi yori amaru
ame no oto kana
Closed in with cloud,
From my dwelling’s eaves
I gaze out in the evening;
Overwhelming my love
Is the sound of rain…


The Right state: the Left’s poem has no faults. The Left state: we do not understand the Right’s poem at all.

In judgement: the Left’s poem commences with ‘late at night’ (fukaki yo no) and then continues with mention of raindrops – this sounds extremely effective. The Right’s poem, too, starts ‘closed in with cloud’ (kumo tozuru) and concludes with ‘the sound of rain’ (ame no oto kana), which sounds charming, but because the poem is said to be ‘incomprehensible’ or ‘grating on the ear’, despite being one with both a significant conception and an unusual sound, there is no reason for me to shoehorn in my own views, even if much has been overlooked, so this round I will leave it at, the Right is entirely incomprehensible and the Left without fault. Thus, the Left wins.

Love IV: 17

Left (Win).

ōkata no
tsuyu wa hiruma zo
wa ga sode hitotsu
nokoru shizuku ni
In general,
The dew would daytime dry become
While we are parted, but
On my sleeves alone
Remain droplets…

Lord Sada’ie.


hiru to kikishi o
ika nareba
koisuru sode wa
When daylight comes
Dry they should be, I heard, but
Why is it, then, that
The sleeves of one in love are
So exceedingly damp?

Lord Tsune’ie.

The Right state: the conception of the Left’s poem is somewhat unclear. The Left state: the contents of the Right’s poem are pedestrian.

In judgement: is the conception of the Left’s poem, of the droplets remaining on one’s sleeves throughout the day being dewfall really that unclear? On hearing the Right’s akenureba hiru, I wondered what had happened to the morning? In addition, just having hiru and not hiruma is confusing. The poem does not say enough.

Love IV: 7


kesa yori wa
saraba namida ni
sode no shizuku ka
From this morning
Should it be that my tears
I will just let fall, for
I cannot wring out
These droplets from my sleeves…

Lord Suetsune.


ware gotoku
hito ya koishiki
miru mama ni
yagate shiboruru
asagao no hana
As much as I
Is there anyone in love?
While watching,
Soon enough languish,
The morning glory blooms…

Lord Takanobu.

The Right state: is saying ‘From this morning’ (kesa yori wa) suggesting that the feelings have particularly arisen this morning? In response: this is simply the style of poetry. It is commonplace to use expressions such as ‘today it is that’ (kyō wa sa wa) or ‘now it is that’ (ima wa sa wa). The Left state: the initial two lines of the Right’s poem pay no attention to style.

In judgement: the Left’s poem, commencing ‘From this morning’ (kesa yori wa) and then saying ‘Should it be that my tears’ (saraba namida ni) does not seem poor. I do wonder about the final ‘These droplets from my sleeves’ (sode no shizuku ka), though. As for the Right’s poem, I do not feel that the initial two lines lack attention to style. The entirety of both teams comments display no knowledge of poetry, and fail to identify the merits or faults of the opposing poems. I feel that both the Left and the Right poems this round are elegant. Thus, the round should tie.