iwane fumi ikue no mine o koenu tomo omoi mo idemu kokoro hedatsu na
Treading past the crags’ feet, and Layer upon layer of peaks A’crossing, still Will my yearning for you grow, so Let us not be strangers…[i]
602
[i] See: Composed in the conception of parting when he took part in a hundred-poem sequence. 別れても心へだつな旅ごろも幾重かさなる山路なりとも wakarete mo / kokoro hedatsu na / tabigoromo / ikue kasanaru / yamaji naritomo ‘We may part, yet / Let us not be strangers; / Travellers’ robes / Place layer on layer, / Though mountain paths lie in-between.’ Fujiwara no Sada’ie (Senzaishū VII: 497)
The Right state: the Left’s poem seems a bit too young. The Left state: ‘Simply was I used to playing’ (nani to naku asobinarenuru) seems rather prosaic diction.
In judgement: although the latter part of the Left’s poem and the initial section of the Right’s are both pleasant, the Left’s use of ‘speak’ (oto) feels unnecessary. The latter section of the Right’s poem seems particularly good. It should win.
