Composed one morning when I couldn’t see my attendants, after returning from the same pilgrimage
旅をゆきし跡のやどもりおのおのにわたくしあれや今朝はいまだこぬ
| tabi o yukishi ato no yadomori onoono ni watakushi are ya kesa wa imada konu | When on my travels I have gone, Do all my remaining guardsmen Each and every one Have their own concerns, that They have yet to come this morning? |
596
A shower at a journey’s lodging
たびの空なれぬはにふのよるのとこ侘しきまでにもる時雨かな
| tabi no sora narenu hanyū no yoru no toko wabishiki made ni moru shigure kana | Beneath a journey’s skies With unfamiliar mud walls Around my bed tonight, Sad and lonely have I become With the shower dripping through![i] |
581
[i] See: On disembarking. 旅のそらはにふのこやのいぶせさにふるさといかにこひしかるらん tabi no sora / hanyū no koya no / ibusesa ni / furusato ika ni / koishikaruran ‘Beneath a journey’s skies / Within a mud hut and / Filled with gloom / For my ancient home how much / I do seem to long…’ Captain of the Third Rank Shigehira (Heike monogatari 85)
On the conception of seeing the moon while travelling, while at a place called the Barrier Gate Hall.
草枕ほどぞへにける都いでていくよかたびの月にねぬらむ
| kusamakura hodo zo henikeru miyako idete ikuyo ka tabi no tsuki ni nenuramu | Grassy pillows For a while have been my lot! Since departing the capital For some days on my travels Will I sleep beneath the moon. |
Ōe no Yoshitoki
秋もはやすゑのはら野に鳴く鹿の声きく時ぞ旅はかなしき
| aki mo haya sue no harano ni naku shika no koe kiku toki zo tabi wa kanashiki | Autumn swiftly ends On the plain at Sue, where Belling out, a stag’s Cry I hear—‘tis then that My travels are sad, indeed![i] |
577
[i] An allusive variation on: 梓弓 末之腹野尓 鷹田為 君之弓食之 将絶跡念甕屋 azusayumi / sue no harano ni / togarisuru / kimi ga yuzuru no / taemu to omoe ya ‘A catalpa bow / On the plain at Sue / A’hawking— / As your bowstring, / I wonder: will I be able to endure?’ Anonymous (Man’yōshū XI: 2638); and: A poem from the poetry competition at Prince Koresada’s house. おく山に紅葉ふみわけなく鹿のこゑきく時ぞ秋は悲しき okuyama ni / momiji fumiwake / naku shika no / koe kiku toki zo / aki wa kanashiki ‘In the mountains’ heart / Forging through the autumn leaves, / A calling stag: / When I hear his voice I feel, / Autumn is sorrowful, indeed.’ Anonymous (Kokinshū IV: 215)
草まくら旅にしあればかりこものおもひみだれていこそねられね
| kusamakura tabi ni shi areba karikomo no omoimidarete i koso nerarene | A pillow of grass I have on my travels, and Reaped wild rice My thoughts are scattered, Unable ever to sleep![i] |
566
[i] See: Topic unknown. かりこもの思ひみだれて我こふといもしるらめや人しつげずは karikomo no/ omoimidarete / ware kou to / imo shirurame ya / hito shi tsugezu wa ‘As cut wild-rice / Are my scattered thoughts: / That I do love her, / I wonder, can she know, / With no one to tell her?’ Anonymous (Kokinshū XI: 485)
草枕たびにしあればいもにこひさむるまをなみ夢さへみえず
| kusamakura tabi ni shi areba imo ni koi samuru ma o nami yume sae miezu | A pillow of grass I have on my travels, so Yearning for my darling I lie awake, not even Glimpsing her within a dream.[i] |
565
[i] See: 家有者 笥尓盛飯乎 草枕 旅尓之有者 椎之葉尓盛 ie ni areba/ ke ni moru ii o / kusamakura / tabi ni shi areba / shii no ha ni moru ‘When I am at home / The pots are full of rice, but / Pillowed on the grass / On this journey now / Only the chinquapin leaves are plentiful…’ Prince Arima (Man’yōshū II: 142)
Round Two
Left (Win)
秋のよの月のひかりはかはらねどたびのそらこそあはれなりけれ
| aki no yo no tsuki no hikari wa kawaranedo tabi no sora koso aware narikeri | On an autumn night The moon’s light Is unchanged, yet The sky above me on my travels Is so very sad, indeed. |
Lord Saburō
31
Right
あきの夜はたのむる人もなきやどもありあけの月はなほぞまちいづる
| aki no yo wa tanomuru hito mo naki yado mo ariake no tsuki wa nao zo machi’izuru | On an autumn night With no man even expected At my house, It is the dawntime moon’s Appearance that, indeed, I have awaited. |
Ushigimi
32
The poem of the Left seems extremely well-trodden. It resembles a something sung as a popular song. As for the poem of the Right, ‘not…at my house’ is extraordinarily stilted, yet the poems are of the same quality, so I would say these tie.
The poem of the Left’s final ‘Is so very sad, indeed’ sounds pitiful and truly unskilled. The poem of the Right overemphasises ‘even’, and also appears to say that the dawntime moon is an element conveying a moving desolation. I wonder if this is appropriate for the topic of the ‘the moon’ in a poetry match? There needs to be a prior poem as precedent. It does say that the moon’s emergence after having waited for it is something precious, but the poem refers to the moon in the latter part of the month, after the twentieth day, doesn’t it? This would seem to be moving, for sure, but it’s something which doesn’t shed much light, so I would say that the Left wins.
Round Thirty-Seven
Left (Tie)
むば玉のよやふけぬらんさをしかの声すみのぼるをのの草ぶし
| mubatama no yo ya fukenuran saoshika no koe suminoboru ono no kusabushi | Might lily-seed dark Night have fallen? The stag’s Cry clearly climbs From where he lies among the meadow grasses. |
Takasuke
73
Right
秋のよはつまどふ鹿の深山出でていまだ旅なるをのの草ぶし
| aki no yo wa tsumadou shika no miyama idete imada tabi naru ono no kusabushi | On an autumn night, Seeking his bride, the stag Emerges from the mountains’ depths, And now on his travels Lies among the meadow grasses. |
Shimotsuke
74
Left and Right’s ‘lies among the meadow grasses’ have no merits or faults between them. A pleasant tie.
Round Nine
Left (T – Tie; M – Win)
神無月旅行く人もいづくにかたちかくるべき時雨もる山
| kaminazuki tabi yuku hito mo izuku ni ka tachikakurubeki shigure moru yama | In the Godless Month For folk gone travelling Is there anywhere To hide themselves away, As the showers drip down on Mount Moru? |
Lady Shinano
17
Right
くらぶ山いかがこゆべき神無月木の葉とともにしぐれ降るなり
| kurabuyama ikaga koyubeki kaminazuki ko no ha to tomo ni shigure furu nari | Over gloomy Mount Kurabu How can I find my way across? In the Godless Month Together with the leaves from the trees A shower is falling… |
Lord Nobutada
18
Toshiyori states: in the first poem, I do not feel that travelling is a natural continuation from ‘Godless Month’. ‘Is there anywhere’, too, does not sound smooth, does it. As for the second poem, if one mentions ‘gloomy Mount Kurabu’ and then follows it with ‘How can I find my way across?’, one should give a reason for the expression, whether it be because it’s gloomy, or because the sun is going down, otherwise it’s also unclear why one should be having difficulties crossing the mountain. If one is grieved by the falling leaves, then the poem sounds more like an ‘Scarlet Leaves’ one, and this is unreasonable. These both look to be about the same.
Mototoshi states: ‘showers drip down on Mount Moru’ is a bit better than ‘gloomy Mount Kurabu’, isn’t it. I feel it’s only logical that there should be no shadows in which one could hide oneself away.
