Tag Archives: Takanobu

Love X: 25

Left
あひそめて後は飾磨の市にても夜がれがちをばかへじとぞ思ふ

aisomete
nochi wa shikama no
ichi nite mo
yogaregachi o ba
kaeji to zo omou
First dyed with indigo, and flushed with love,
Then to Shikama
Market as
Night’s dark cloth, only occasionally
Will he return I fear…

Kenshō
1189

Right (Win)
尋ばやほのかに三輪の市に出て命にかふるしるしありやと

tazuneba ya
honoka ni miwa no
ichi ni iedete
inochi ni kauru
shirushi ari ya to
I would pay a visit to one
I briefly glimpsed at Miwa
Market – leaving
My life I would exchange
Were there to be a sign from her?

Lord Takanobu
1190

The Right state: both of the latter sections of the Left’s poem are extremely informal. The Left state: the Right’s poem has no faults, but we do wonder about the appropriateness of ‘exchange for a sign’ (kauru shirushi).

In judgement: ‘first dyed with indigo’ (aisomete), ‘Shikama Market’ (shikama no ichi) and ‘night’s dark cloth’ (yogaregachi) – all of these sound evocative. Following ‘I briefly glimpsed at Miwa Market’ (honoka ni miwa no ichi) with ‘exchange’ (kauru) sounds rather abrupt, but saying, ‘were there to be a sign’ (shirushi ari ya) at Miwa Market does not sound pointless. Generally speaking, on the Way of Poetry, poems whose conception is plainly expressed do not consider their diction, while poems which place weight upon their diction lack a clear conception. Poems which attempt to fully express their configuration are often at variance from the topic – all this is well known. The Left’s poem has a poor final section. The Right wins.

Love X: 22

Left (Win)
斧の柄を何かあやしと思けんしばしの恋も袖は朽ちけり

ono no e o
nani ka ayashi to
omoiken
shibashi no koi mo
sode wa kuchikeri
An axe haft –
What is there strange in that
I wonder?
For with this brief love
My sleeves have rotted…

Kenshō
1183

Right
あさましや心をしほる山人も身におふ程の歎きをぞこる

asamashi ya
kokoro o shioru
yamabito mo
mi ni ou hodo no
nageki o zo koru
How surprising!
Heartbroken
A woodcutter, too,
Is burdened by
The tree of grief he fells…

Lord Takanobu
1184

Left and Right together state: we find no faults to mention.

In judgement: For the Left, I wonder how long a ‘brief love’ (shibashi no koi) lasts? For one’s sleeves to have rotted, surely a certain amount of time must have passed, but in configuration the poem is certainly elegant. The Right’s woodcutter (yamabito) sounds like he is saying rather too much about himself. The Left should win.

Love X: 18

Left (Win)
袖ぞ今は雄島の海人もいさりせん干さぬたぐひに思ひける哉

sode zo ima wa
oshima no ama mo
isarisen
hosanu tagui ni
omoikeru kana
My sleeves, now, and
At Oshima the divers, too
Are fishing;
Both are never dry
I feel!

Lord Sada’ie
1175

Right
恋をのみ志田の浮島浮き沈み海人にも似たる袖の浪かな

koi o nomi
shida no ukishima
ukishizumi
ama ni mo nitaru
sode no nami kana
From love alone, at
Ukishima in Shida –
Submerging and emerging,
A diver do I seem,
Waves washing on my sleeves!

Lord Takanobu
1176

Left and Right together state: the poems do not seem poor.

In judgement: this round also seems pleasant. With ‘at Oshima the divers, too are fishing’ (oshima no ama mo isarisen) and ‘Ukishima in Shita – submerging and emerging’ (shita no ukishima ukishizumi) the scene of sleeves of both Left and Right sound splendid. Once more, again, I must make this a tie.

Love X: 12

Left (Tie)
一夜のみ宿かる人の契とて露結び置く草枕かな

hitoyo nomi
yado karu hito no
chigiri tote
tsuyu musubioku
kusamakura kana
For just a single night
Will he rent my lodging and
Make a brief bond of love;
Dewdrops tangled with
My grassy pillow…

A Servant Girl
1163

Right
結びけん契もつらし草枕待つ夕暮も宿を頼みて

musubiken
chigiri mo tsurashi
kusamakura
matsu yūgure mo
yado o tanomite
Tangled
Brief bonds are chill;
With a grassy pillow
She awaits the evening and
A request for lodging.

Takanobu
1164

Left and Right state together: both poems have only a faint conception of entertainers.

In judgement: both Left and Right have a ‘grassy pillow’ (kusamakura) and a faint conception of entertainers, as the Gentlemen have already stated. They seem to me to somehow resemble the poem by the Left in Round Nine. The Left’s ‘dewfall drops tangled’ (tsuyu musubioku) and the Right’s ‘brief bonds are chill’ (chigiri mo tsurashi) are both elegant. Once again, I make this a tie.

Love X: 11

Left (Tie)
東路や萱津の原の朝霧に起き別るらん袖はものかは

azumaji ya
kayatsu no hara no
asagiri ni
okiwakaruran
sode wa mono ka wa
On the eastern roads,
Upon the field of Kayatsu
With the morning mists
Does he rise and part, but
Are his sleeves as mine?

Lord Ari’ie
1161

Right
さまざまにうつる心も鏡山影見ぬ人を恋ふるものかは

samazama ni
utsuru kokoro mo
kagamiyama
kage minu hito o
kouru mono ka wa
Many
Hearts does she attract upon
Mirror Mount,
But with one whose face remains unseen
Would I fall in love?

Lord Takanobu
1162

The Right state: the Left’s poem is fine. The Left state: the Right’s poem has no faults to mention.

In judgement: both poems are certainly by men entranced by thoughts of player-girls. The configuration and diction of ‘are his sleeves as mine?’ (sode wa mono ka wa) and ‘would I fall in love?’ (kouru mono ka wa) are both not unpleasant. Thus, I make this a tie.

Love X: 2

Left (Tie)
浪の上にうかれてすぐるたはれめも頼む人には頼まれぬかは

nami no ue ni
ukarete suguru
tawareme mo
tanomu hito ni wa
tanomarenu ka wa
Atop the waves, and
Carried along helplessly,
Is even a pleasure girl
To a loving man
Unable to respond?

Lord Kanemune
1143

Right
波の上に結ぶ契のはてよりも戀に沈まん身こそうかれめ

nami no ue ni
musubu chigiri no
hate yori mo
koi ni shizuman
mi koso ukareme
Atop the waves
Form bonds
So brief – but more
Drowned in love
Am I, suffering so helplessly!

Lord Takanobu
1144

Left and Right together state: we find no faults to mention.

In judgement: both poems are certainly focused on the topic, with ‘atop the waves’ (nami no ue) and ‘helplessly’ (ukareme). The round ties.

Love IX: 30

Left (Win)
忘れずは馴し袖もやこほこほるらむ寝ぬ夜の床の霜のさむしろ

wasurezu wa
nareshi sode mo ya
kōruramu
nenu yo no toko no
shimo no samushiro
If she should forget me not,
Would those oh so familiar sleeves, too,
Freeze solid?
In bed on a sleepless night
Frost forms on my chilly blankets…

Lord Sada’ie
1139

Right
分てこそ中より塵は積もりぬれ恋の病に沈むさ筵

wakete koso
naka yori chiri wa
tsumorinure
koi no yamai ni
shizumu samushiro
Split down
The middle, dust
Has piled up!
Sunk in the sickness
Of love upon this blanket!

Lord Takanobu
1140

Left and Right together state: we find no faults to mention.

In judgement: the conception of being lost in thought of another’s sleeves ‘in bed on a sleepless night frost forms on my chilly blankets’ (nenu yo no toko no shimo no samushiro) is certainly elegant. The scene in the Right’s poem, with the blanket divided in half, with one covered with dust, and the other where the speaker lies lovesick, is distasteful and I do not find it appealing, so thus, the Left wins.

Love IX: 24

Left (Win)
からあひの八入の衣色深くなどあながちにつらき心ぞ

kara’ai no
yashio no koromo
iro fukaku
nado anagachi ni
tsuraki kokoro zo
Deepest indigo
Dipped many times, my robe’s
Hue is dark, indeed;
Why, with such heartless
Cruelty am I treated…

Lord Suetsune
1127

Right
衣衣にうつりし色はあだなれど心ぞ深き忍ぶもぢずり

kinuginu ni
utsurishi iro wa
ada naredo
kokoro zo fukaki
shinobu mojizuri
My robe’s
Hues have shifted;
Faithless is she, yet
My heart’s depths
Are stained with fern-patterned longing…

Lord Takanobu
1128

The Right state: we wonder whether ‘deepest indigo dipped many times’ (kara’ai no yashio) should not be scarlet. How dark would the colour be then? In response: there is no possibility of interpreting this as scarlet. We have used deep indigo, so what is there to criticise in then using dark? The Left state: while we understand the conception of the poem, we feel the expression is somewhat lacking. ‘My heart’s depths are stained with secret longing’ (kokoro zo fukaki shinobu mojizuri) does not link well with the initial part of the poem.

In judgement: the Left’s initial ‘deepest indigo’ (kara’ai) certainly sounds elegant, and there is no reason to make it scarlet. I also see no reason to fault the use of dark, either. As for the Right, it does not sound as if ‘stained with fern-patterned longing’ (shinobu mojizuri) links with the remainder of the poem – from the beginning to ‘my heart’s depths’ (kokoro zo fukaki). The final ‘stained with fern-patterned longing’ seems to appear abruptly. Deepest indigo should win.

Love IX: 19

Left
戀衣いつか干るべき河社しるしも浪にいとゞしほれて

koigoromo
itsuka hirubeki
kawa yashiro
shirushi mo nami ni
itodo shiorete
My clothes of love,
When might they dry?
A river shrine
Has had no effect – the waves
Dampen them all the more…

Kenshō
1117

Right (Win)
いかで猶夜半の衣を返しても重ねしほどの夢をだに見ん

ikade nao
yowa no koromo o
kaeshitemo
kasaneshi hodo no
yume o dani min
What to do? Again
My night time garb
Inside out I turn –
As many layers
As dreams, if only I would see…

Takanobu
1118

The Right state: there are a number of different theories about the source poem ‘stems of bamboo wave freely the clothes I’d dry’ (shino ni orihae hosu koromo), so how should the allusion here be correctly understood? In response: this refers to a summer performance of sacred music and dance. In this, sprigs of sakaki are placed in clear water, and bamboo stems are hung from the shelf as offerings. This is the river shrine (kawa yashiro). It appears in the records about sacred music in summer. Standard sacred music is performed to pray to the gods. Thus, if one is made to bear the weight of something one has not done, the feeling is close to the conception of damp clothes, is it not? And this is associated with the clothes of lovers that will not dry. The Left state: the Right’s poem has no faults to mention.

In judgement:  the Left’s poem seems to be more about a ‘river shrine’ than ‘lovers’ clothing’ (koigoromo). While it is not entirely clear, the Left and Right’s criticism and response, are certainly unusual. There are two poems which are possible as sources for this, both of which appear in Tsurayuki’s Collection. These are: ‘At a river shrine / Stems of bamboo wave freely / The clothes I’d dry / How should I do so? / Seven days still damp…’  and:

行く水のうへにいはへる河社河浪高くあそぶなるかな

yuku mizu no
ue ni iwaeru
kawa yashiro
kawa nami takaku
asobunaru kana
The waters run, and
Above them in celebration is
A river shrine;
The river’s waves rise high,
Taking pleasure in their play!

This latter is a poem from a folding screen with pictures of each of the moons of the year, painted in the Tenryaku Era. Moreover, in a work by Lord Toshiyori, he says, ‘There is no one today who knows what a “river shrine” is. All we can do now is guess. So people say that it was a shrine on top of the water, where sacred music was performed in summer. The latter poem certainly does not seem to have this meaning. The former makes no mention of sacred music, and simply talks of clothing one has wanted to dry for a long time not drying.’ In addition, I have questioned a member of a household familiar with sacred music about this matter, and been told, ‘Where summer sacred music is concerned, there is a particular way of it. It is definitely absent from the records.’ Furthermore, Toshiyori played the double-reed flute. He would clearly have known all about sacred music, and around this time wrote, ‘first of all, there is no one who knows of this,’ and yet the Left’s response simply states, ‘it appears in the records about sacred music.’ This is something which requires greater proof. If the gentleman of the Left is able to provide some now, this would be a fine thing for the Way of Music! These, in brief, are my thoughts on this matter and, of course, the Left’s response.

First, it is a mistake to say that the river shrine is necessarily connected with summer sacred music. Summer sacred music is just what it sounds like: in summer, sacred music is performed, but not in any fixed way. However, here summer sacred music is done before a river shrine. Kawa yashiro shino ni is an old term for widely or ordinarily. It appears to have been used this way in the Collection of a Myriad Leaves. Orihaete has the same meaning. In the phrase ‘drying a robe / seven days undrying’ (hosu koromo / nanoka hizu) seven, or eight, days is simply a poetic convention for conveying that something was not dry after a long time. The ‘robe’ is not really a piece of clothing, but something which resembles it, and which is not dry. Ise said of the so-called Ryūmon Waterfall, ‘So why should the mountain’s princess rinse her cloth’ (nani yama hime no nuno sarasuramu) and also there are expressions such as ‘Nunohiki Falls’. Thus we have the Left’s argument for the summer sacred music platform, and then Lord Toshiyori’s writings; further, on the term shino ‘bamboo hung from the shelf as an offering to the gods’ and ‘clothing has the conception of damp clothing’. This is a remarkable way of interpreting the poem, indeed! The only way to settle the matter would be with the presentation of definite proof. So, this is certainly something which His Grace should request for review. In short, the Left’s poem, beginning with the idea that lovers’ clothing is to pray at a river shrine, and then saying ‘it has no effect’ (shirushi mo nami ni) seems like everlasting bitterness. The Right’s poem says ‘my night time garb inside out I turn’ (yowa no koromo o kaeshitemo), which is quite ordinary. In the absence of definite proof for the Left’s contentions, the Right must win.

Love IX: 14

Left (Win)
今さらにたれに心をうつうつすらむ我とすみ絵はかき絶えにけり

ima sara ni
tare ni kokoro o
utsusuramu
ware to sumi e wa
kakitaenikeri
Now, once again,
To whom will his heart
Shift? His reflection in
A drawing of ink, is all that’s left
Drawn, now he no longer lives with me…

Lord Ari’ie
1107

Right
跡もなく色になり行言の葉やすみ絵ををとむる木立成らん

ato mo naku
iro ni nariyuki
koto no ha ya
sumi e o tomuru
kodachi naruran
No lines remain,
All is turned to colour;
Will his leaves of words
Remain here at my home, as an ink
Sketch of a grove?

Lord Takanobu
1108

The Right state: the Left’s poem has no faults in particular. The Left state: why would you say that an ink drawing that remains ‘leaves no trace’? We would have preferred it had it been ‘colours most fair’ (iro masaru).

In judgement: both Left and Right have the conception of ‘ink drawings’ (sumie) and, when viewed together, I do not feel that they show much promise, but the Right, beginning with ‘no lines remain’ (ato mo naku) which I do not feel is in tune with the latter part of the poem, in addition, then concludes with ‘sketch of a grove’ (kodachi naruran) which is undesirable. The Left’s ‘a drawing of ink, is all that’s left’ (ware to sumi e wa) is a metaphorical expression which at least strives at charm. Thus, I must say that the Left is superior.