hisakata no ama tobu kari no namida kamo ōarakino no sasa no ue no tsuyu
Eternal Heaven-flying goose Tears, perhaps? Upon Ōaraki Plain, Dew upon the dwarf-bamboo…[1]
[1] An allusive variation on: Topic unknown. なきわたるかりの涙やおちつらむ物思ふやどの萩のうへのつゆ nakiwataru / kari no namida ya / ochitsuran / mono’omou yado no / hagi no ue no tsuyu ‘Calling across / Did the geese let tears / Fall? / My dwelling, lost in thought, / Has dew upon the bush clover.’ Anonymous (KKS IV:221); and: 如是為而也 尚哉将老 三雪零 大荒木野之 小竹尓不有九二 kakushite ya / nao ya oinuramu / miyuki furu / ōarakino no / shino ni aranaku ni ‘Is this how it is to be? / Have I yet grown old / Though covered with fair snow / On Ōaraki Plain / An arrow-bamboo I am not…’ Anonymous (MYS VII: 1349).
kusagakure mienu oshika mo tsuma kouru koe oba e koso shinobazarikere
Hidden by the grasses, Unseen, the stag, too Longing for his mate, His bell, indeed, is unable To conceal!
Lord Yorimasa 37
Right
秋の野の花のたもとに置く露や妻よぶしかの涙なるらむ
aki no no no hana no tamoto ni oku tsuyu ya tsuma yobu shika no namida naruramu
In the autumn meadows, Upon the blossoms’ sleeves Are the fallen dewdrops The stag—calling for his mate— Letting tears fall?
Narinaka 38
The Left is novel, and the Right charming, respectively. The Right’s poem does have a large number of identical syllables—while this is criticized in the Code of the Creation of Poetry as a ‘whole body fault’, it is not the case that poems containing this defect have not appeared in poetry matches from time to time, and I don’t feel it’s necessary to examine whether there are a large number of similar cases here: such things are simply a style of poetry.
saoshika no naku ne wa yoso ni kikitsuredo namida wa sode no mono ni zo arikeru
The stag’s Sad bell in the distance Did I hear, yet still My tears my sleeves Have covered.
Sadanaga 31
Right (Win)
山たかみおろすあらしやよわるらんかすかに成りぬさをしかの声
yama takami orosu arashi ya yowaruran kasuka ni narinu saoshika no koe
From the mountain’s heights Descending, has the storm wind Weakened? Faintly comes The stag’s bell.
Lord Suetsune 32
I do wonder about the Left, given that there appears to be a poem by the late Lord Toshiyori:
さをしかのなくねは野べにきこゆれどなみだは床の物にぞ有りける
saoshika no naku ne wa nobe ni kikoyuredo namida wa toko no mono ni zo arikeru[1]
The stag’s Sad bell upon the plain I heard, yet My tears my bed Have covered.
I am a little leery of the Right’s central line, but overall it is not the case that this poem lacks conception, so it should win.
[1] KYS (3) III: 225 Composed on ‘listening to stags in a hut in the fields’. Also SZS V: 310 ‘Composed when he heard a stag belling while at a mountain retreat in Tanakami’. Also Sanboku kikashū 451 ‘Listening to stags in a hut in the fields’.
uguisu no naku ki no moto ni furu yuki wa hakaze ni hana no chiru ka to zo miru
The warbler Sings from in a tree, its roots Covered by falling snow; Breeze stirred by its wingbeats, blossom Does seem to scatter.
Lord Kiyosuke 1
Right
うぐひすのなきて木づたふ梅がえにこぼるる露や涙なるらん
uguisu no nakite kozutau ume ga e ni koboruru tsuyu ya namida naruran
The warbler Crying flits from Branch to plum branch; Has the dripping dew His tears, perhaps, become?
Shun’e 2
Both Left and Right proceed smoothly, but what are we to make of the line ‘Crying flits’ in the Right’s poem? As this is also an expression which implies that dew is falling, these should tie.
