Round Six

Left (Win)

うれしさはおほつのはまにたつなみのかずもしられぬきみがみよかな

ureshisa wa ōtsu no hama ni tatsu nami no kazu mo shirarenu kimi ga miyo kana

My joy is Great, as upon Ōtsu Beach Break waves In numbers quite unknown, Such is my Lord’s reign most fair!

Cell of Fragrant Cloud
67

Right

かすがやまみねのしらがしよろづよをきみにといへばかみもいさめず

kasugayama mine no shiragashi yorozuyo o kimi ni to ieba kami mo isamezu

Kasuga Mountain has White-barked evergreen oaks upon its peak: ‘Ten thousand generations For my Lord!’—should I say that, The God will surely not refuse!

Cell of Compassionate Light
68

The poem of the Left’s ‘Great, as upon Ōtsu Beach’ and what follows is something that sounds grievously prosaic. With that said, there are many parts of the poem which are not. What is the poem of the Right’s ‘White-barked evergreen oaks on its peak / Ten thousand generations’ linked with in the remainder of the poem? I wonder what it’s composed about… The Left doesn’t contain any errors, so I still say it wins.

The Left’s poem, as I have said in an earlier round, appears to lack smoothness. Is the poem of the Right’s ‘white-barked evergreen oaks’ a long-standing expression? I can’t seem to recall a prior precedent. ‘The God will surely not refuse’ is vague, too. Is it asking the deity’s favour for the speaker? While I am somewhat hesitant, given my appallingly constricted knowledge, I will, fearfully, say that this is inferior.