Round Four: Showers

Left (Win – Mototoshi)

水鳥の青葉の山やいかならん梢をそむる今朝のしぐれに

midutori no awoba no yama ya ikanaran kozuwe wo somuru kesa no sigure ni

Waterbird Aoba Mountain – What is to become of you? Your treetops dyed By this morning’s drizzle…

Lord Akinaka
7

Right (Win – Toshinari)

かき曇り海人の小舟に吹く苫の下透るまで時雨しにけり

kakikumori ama no wobune ni Fuku toma no sita toForu made siguresinikeri

Clouds claw in and, Upon the fisherfolk’s tiny boats Do blow; until from the thatch, Right through to beneath, Do the showers fall…

Lord Michitsune
8

Toshinari states: to follow ‘waterbird Aoba Mountain’ (midutori no awoba no yama) with ‘treetops dyed’ (kozuwe wo somuru) is blatantly obvious; in the following poem, while referring to ‘fisherfolk’s tiny boats’ (ama no wobune) is stylistically unexpected, it is not a fault, so I feel it should win.

Mototoshi states: referring to ‘waterbird Aoba Mountain’ (midutori no awoba no yama) is extremely old-fashioned, but the poem of the Right has ‘clouds claw in and, upon the fisherfolks’ tiny boats do blow; until the thatch’ (kakikumori ama no wobune ni fuku toma), which are not things on which spring or summer showers fall, so there is no linking sense with ‘right through to beneath’ (sita toForu made). Thus, I must conclude that showers which dye the treetops is slightly superior.