For a painting of fresh herbs on a folding screen.
かすがののとぶひののもりけふとてや昔かたみに若なつむらん
| kasuga no no tobuhi nomori kyō tote ya mukashi katami ni wakana tsumuran | Upon the plain of Kasuga At Tobuhi, a field warden Wonders if ‘twas today Long ago? His basket of memories With fresh herbs filled, perhaps… |
Left (Win).
うちむれて菫摘むまに飛火野の霞のうちにけふもくらしつ
| uchimurete sumire tsumu ma ni tobuhino no kasumi no uchi ni kyō mo kurashitsu |
Gathered all together, In picking violets, On Tobuhi Plain Amongst the haze Have we spent this day… |
63
Right.
暮ぬるかいざ歸りなん春の野のまとゐはけふに限るべきかは
| kurenuru ka iza kaerinan haru no no no matoi wa kyō ni kagirubeki ka wa |
Is dusk a’falling? Well then, let’s be homeward bound. Among the fields in Springtime, Music, this day Alone, will not sound. |
The Provisional Master of the Empress’ Household Office
64
The Right team state that the Left’s poem certainly expresses the conception [kokoro wa tashika nari] of ‘Field Pleasures’ but perhaps introduces the topic of ‘violets’ too early for this poetry competition’s sequence. The Left respond, ‘If the poem matches the conception for Field Pleasures [yayū no kokoto dani araba], the matter of timing is no great fault [fukaki toga naku]! The Right’s poem is more on the theme of ‘longing to be heading home’, than ‘Field Pleasures’, and the sentiment of the latter topic is weak [kokorozashi asashiki]’.
Shunzei judges that the Left’s poem seems well-constructed [utazama wa yoroshiki], but that the diction [kotoba] of using ma ni (‘while’) in the expression sumire tsumu ma ni (‘In picking violets’), is ‘undesirable’. The Right’s use of diction is charming [kotobazukai okashikaran], but the poem really is about longing to be off home. The Left’s final stanza is excellent [yoroshiki], and so their poem has to be the winner.