Left.
來ぬ床は明る頼みもなき物をひまや白むと待ぞあやしき
| konu toko wa akuru tanomi mo naki mono o hima ya shiromu to matsu zo ayashiki |
An unvisited bed, Of light has No hope, but Brightening through my bedroom door Is what I am awaiting – how strange… |
Lord Kanemune.
833
Right (Win).
頼めつゝ更けゆく夜半を歎きても鳥の音をやは待あかしつる
| tanometsutsu fukeyuku yowa o nagekitemo tori no ne o ya wa matsu akashitsuru |
Time and again he’d say he’d come, and Through the deepening night I’d grieve, but Is it now for the first bird call That I have awaited the dawn? |
Lord Takanobu.
834
The Right state: ‘Unvisited bed’ (konu toko) sounds as if it is the bed doing the visiting. The Left state: we do not feel that the Right’s poem expresses its intended sense fully.
In judgement: I feel it sounds better to say that ‘through the deepening night’ (fukeyuku yowa) ‘is it now for the first bird call’ (tori no ne o ya wa) that one waits, rather than that one is in ‘an unvisited bed’ (konu toko) waiting for ‘brightening through my bedroom door’ (hima ya shiromu).