恋せんとなれるみかはの八橋の蜘蛛手に物を思ふ比かな
koi sen to nareru mikawa no yatsuhashi no kumode ni mono o omou koro kana | Thinking to love— Am I so used to it? In Mikawa The Yatsuhashi Bridge, Jagged as a spider’s tracks, reflects My spinning thoughts these days! |
Left
霜のうへに跡ふみつくる浜千鳥行へもなしと鳴きのみぞふる
shimo no ue ni ato fumitsukuru hamachidori yukue mo nashi to naki nomi zo suru | Upon the frost Treading out tracks are Plovers on the beach; With no place to go, They simply sing! |
Okikaze
141
Right
なみだ川みなぐばかりの淵はあれど氷とけねばかげもやどらぬ
namidagawa mi nagu bakari no fuchi wa aredo kōri tokeneba kage mo yadoranu | My river of tears, Is fit to drown me in It’s depths, yet Should the ice not melt, No sign will linger on… |
142
Left
梅がかを袖にうつしてとどめては春はすぐともかたみならまし
mume ga ka o sode ni utushite todometeba haru wa sugutomo katami naramashi | If only the plums’ scent Would shift to my sleeves and Stay there, then Even when spring is past and gone A keepsake would it be… |
35[1]
Right
行く春の跡だにありと見ましかば野べのまにまにとめましものを
yuku haru no ato dani ari to mimashikaba nobe no manimani tomemashi mono o | Departing spring’s Very tracks I would I saw, so Simply in the meadows Would I remain! |
36
[1] Kokinshū I: 46/Shinsen man’yōshū 21
Left (Win)
唐国の虎臥す野邊に入るよりもまどふ戀路の末ぞあやうき
karakuni no tora fusu nobe ni iru yori mo madou koiji no sue zo ayauki |
In far Cathay are Meadows where tigers lie, But rather than entering there, The confusing paths of love Are, at the end, more dangerous… |
Lord Ari’ie
1063
Right
我宿は人もかれ野の淺茅原通ひし駒の跡もとゞめず
wa ga yado wa hito mo kareno no asajiwara kayoishi koma no ato mo todomezu |
At my home Is only a withered field Of cogon grass; The mount who once did cross it Has left no lingering tracks… |
Ietaka
1064
The Gentlemen of the Right state: how can love be dangerous? The Gentlemen of the Left state: the Right’s poem has no faults to mention.
In judgement: saying that the ‘paths of love are, at the end’ (koiji no sue) dangerous is perfectly commonplace. ‘Is only a withered field of cogon grass’ (hito mo kareno no asajiwara) seems to simply have taken the poem ‘Sedge fields lie / Around the estate of Fushimi, / All long overgrown; / He who passed across them / Has left no tracks at all…’ and swapped in ‘mount who once did cross it’ (kayoishi koma). Changing a man into a mount is discomposing, indeed. Again, the Left should win.
When a man who had long visited a woman at the house of the Sugawara Minister, ceased coming for a while, and then came once more.
菅原や伏見の里の荒れしより通ひし人のあともたえにき
sugaFara ya Fusimi no sato no aresi yori kayoFisi Fito no ato mo taeniki |
Sedge fields lie Around the estate of Fushimi, All long overgrown; He who passed across them Has left no tracks at all… |
Anonymous
Left (Win).
訪へかしな庭の白雪跡絶えてあはれも深き冬の朝を
toekashi na niwa no shirayuki ato taete aware mo fukaki fuyu no ashita o |
I would go a’calling; In my garden the white snowfall Has covered all the tracks; How deep is my sorrow, On this winter morning! |
545
Right.
軒のうち雀の聲は馴るれども人こそ知らぬ今朝の白雪
noki no uchi ni suzume no koe wa naruredomo hito koso shiranu kesa no shirayuki |
From underneath the eaves To the sparrows’ chirps Have I grown accustomed, yet No one noticed This morning’s fall of snow so white… |
545
The Right state that the Left’s initial line makes their poemsound like a reply. In addition, the final line is ‘overly forceful’ [itau tsuyoku]. The Left merely comment that the Right’s use of ‘sparrow’ (suzume) is ‘inappropriate’.
Shunzei’s judgement: Even though the Left’s poem is not a reply, starting with ‘I would go a’calling’ (toekashi na) is common in the reply style [zōtōtei]. In addition, ‘Winter Mornings’ is not a topic which one needs to approach obliquely. There are only the good and bad points of the poetry. ‘From underneath the eaves to the sparrows’ chirps have I grown accustomed’ (noki no uchi ni suzume no koe wa naruru) is not an expression much used about morning snow. However, the final section of the poem appears fine. ‘Sparrows’ chirps’ (suzume no koe) is, perhaps, somewhat colloquial [zoku no chikaku]. Despite the comment by the gentlemen of the Right that the final section of the Left’s poem is ‘overly forceful’, it is a better ‘Winter Morning’ poem.