Round Two
Left (Win)
秋のよの月のひかりはかはらねどたびのそらこそあはれなりけれ
| aki no yo no tsuki no hikari wa kawaranedo tabi no sora koso aware narikeri | On an autumn night The moon’s light Is unchanged, yet The sky above me on my travels Is so very sad, indeed. |
Lord Saburō
31
Right
あきの夜はたのむる人もなきやどもありあけの月はなほぞまちいづる
| aki no yo wa tanomuru hito mo naki yado mo ariake no tsuki wa nao zo machi’izuru | On an autumn night With no man even expected At my house, It is the dawntime moon’s Appearance that, indeed, I have awaited. |
Ushigimi
32
The poem of the Left seems extremely well-trodden. It resembles a something sung as a popular song. As for the poem of the Right, ‘not…at my house’ is extraordinarily stilted, yet the poems are of the same quality, so I would say these tie.
The poem of the Left’s final ‘Is so very sad, indeed’ sounds pitiful and truly unskilled. The poem of the Right overemphasises ‘even’, and also appears to say that the dawntime moon is an element conveying a moving desolation. I wonder if this is appropriate for the topic of the ‘the moon’ in a poetry match? There needs to be a prior poem as precedent. It does say that the moon’s emergence after having waited for it is something precious, but the poem refers to the moon in the latter part of the month, after the twentieth day, doesn’t it? This would seem to be moving, for sure, but it’s something which doesn’t shed much light, so I would say that the Left wins.
