Tag Archives: trees

Tōgū gakushi noritada uta’awase 06

Dark shade beneath the mountain trees[i]

Left

よとともにはれずもあるかなこがくれて山びといかであくとしるらん

yo to tomo ni
harezu mo aru kana
kogakurete
yamabito ikade
aku to shiruran
Even with the end of night,
It never clears at all!
Hidden ‘neath the trees
How can a mountain man
Ever find the light?

11

Right

よもの山こぐらくなりてなつのよの月ばかりこそもりてみゆらめ

yomo no yama
koguraku narite
natsu no yo no
tsuki bakari koso
morite miyurame
All around, the mountains
Are dark beneath the trees;
On a summer night
‘Tis truly only the moon
That one might see dripping between them!

12

This topic refers to a hunted stag concealed among the trees in the summer mountains. There is not a particular strong feeling of either evergreen or other types of mountain forests,[ii] but the Left’s poem has ‘Even with the end of night’, forgetting that this implies a season of biting wind and showers striking the leaves on the trees—thus the darkness here is excessively conceived. While the Right takes ‘dark shade’ as an opportunity to compose with the elevated conception of the moon dripping between the trees—and surpasses the peaks in doing this—I wonder if the conceptions of both poems don’t contain brightness? Thus, both Left and Right are examples of the ‘Reizei Palace’,[iii] so I would decide on a tie for these.

さ月山こぐらきかげのしげしさはまさりてみゆる人もなきかな

satsuki yama
koguraki kage no
shigeshisa wa
masarite miyuru
hito mo naki kana
The Fifth Month mountains
Dark shade beneath the trees is
So deep that
Skillfully seeing—
There no one who can do that!

Judge 6


[i] Yamagi no kagegurashi山樹蔭暗

[ii] The expression Noritada uses here Tokiwayama makeyama is obscure, so this interpretation is speculative.

[iii] Another unclear expression, but from the context apparently an idiom that means ‘poems not matching the topic’.

Eien narabō uta’awase 32

Round Four

Left

うちむれていはねにねざすこまつばのきぎのちとせはきみぞかぞへむ

uchimurete
iwane ni nezasu
komatsuba no
kigi no chitose wa
kimi zo kazoemu
Crowding
At the crags’ foot, roots stretching,
The dwarf pines’ needles with
The trees’ thousand years—
My Lord may count them all!

Cell of the Fragrant Elephant
63

Right (Win)

たとふべきものこそなけれ君がよははまのまさごもかずなからめや

tatoubeki
mono koso nakere
kimi ga yo wa
hama no masago mo
kazu nakarame ya
A suitable metaphor
Is there none, at all!
My Lord’s reign:
Even the fair sands on the shore
Would not exceed its number…

Cell of Everlasting Truth
64

Both of the Left poem’s expressions, ‘crowding’ and ‘dwarf pines’ needles’, seem to sound awkward. ‘Crowding’ is used of cranes, while it would have been preferable to say ‘the needles of the dwarf pines’. The poem of the Right is not especially charming, but it is in a familiar style, so I feel that ‘the fair sands’ number’ is superior.

I feel that ‘crowding’ is better applied to human beings. Perhaps there’s a conception here of looking down on each and every one? This is a mistake, isn’t it? In addition, what is ‘dwarf pines’ needles’? Maybe the poet is trying to say ‘the needles of the dwarf pines’? Is there a prior poem as precedent? It’s a piece of awkward-sounding diction! The Right’s poem appears straightforward, but without errors.

Eien narabō uta’awase 22

Snow

Round One

Left (Win)

たまのきにははそのもりもなりにけりふるしらゆきのきえぬかぎりは

tama no ki ni
hahaso no mori mo
narinikeri
furu shirayuki no
kienu kagiri wa
Into trees of gems has
The oak forest
Turned
While the falling snow
Does not fade away…

Lord Dainagon
43[i]

Right

ゆきふればあをばの山も見がくれてときはのきをやけさはをるらむ

yuki fureba
aoba no yama mo
migakurete
tokiwa no ki o ya
kesa wa oruramu
Snow has fallen, so
The verdant mountain
Vanishes from sight—
Might the evergreens
Be broken the morning?

Lord Chūnagon
44[ii]

The poem of the Left is entirely lacking in any interest. Isn’t this a sage’s jewelled tree? It really leaves me grief-stricken. The poem of the Right contains two faults in a single work. First, this is not the right time of year to be referring to a ‘verdant mountain’. Second, ‘vanishes from sight’ refers to disappearing in water. In the Collection of a Myriad Leaves ‘vanishing from sight’ is written as ‘hidden in the water’. Thus we have lines such as, ‘swarming frogs hiding in the weeds beneath the waves’. There are no prior poems mentioning ‘mountains vanishing from sight’ in either ancient or modern times.

On the matter of the ‘tree of gems’, I heard a long time ago that this might have appeared in an important source, but as this is something I know little about, even if this is a fault, it’s difficult for me to say anything about it. Well, in any case, it doesn’t sound bad. Would someone who knows all about this compose poorly? The Right’s poem lacks elegance, but it doesn’t sound like it has any other faults. It’s inferior to the Left only in ornamentation.


[i] Some sources identify Mototoshi as the composer of this poem.

[ii] This poem is included in Toshiyori’s personal collection, Sanboku kikashū (670), with the headnote, ‘Composed in place of someone for a poetry match in Nara’,

Fubokushō X: 3910

From the poetry match at Tsurayuki’s house in Tengyō 2 – The beginning of autumn.

松もなくしげき木の葉は夏ながらもみぢの色ぞ染めはじめける

matsu mo naku
shigeki no ha wa
natsu nagara
momiji no iro zo
somehajimekeru
Not waiting at all
The leaves upon the trees, so lush
In summer, have
With scarlet hues
Begun to be dyed!

Anonymous

Entō ōn’uta’awase 38

Round Thirty-Eight

Left

今更にふしもさだめぬ鹿の音よ木葉の数のつもるよごとに

ima sara ni
fushi mo sadamenu
shika no ne yo
ko no ha no kazu no
tsumoru goto ni
At around this time,
With his bedding undecided,
The stag bells out!
Just as the leaves’ from on the trees numbers
Do mount up…

Shō
75

Right (Win)

木葉ちる夜半の嵐の月影に心すみてや鹿も鳴くらん

ko no ha chiru
yowa no arashi no
tsukikage ni
kokoro sumite ya
shika mo nakuran
Leaves scatter from the trees
In the midnight storm
In the moonlight
From his wild and earthy thoughts
Does the stag, too, cry out?

Nagatsuna
76

The Left’s ‘just as the leaves from on the trees numbers do mount up’ at night and so forth, appears to be a novel style, yet the Right poem sounds more gorgeous, so it wins.

Entō ōn’uta’awase 36

Round Thirty-Six

Left

秋をおもふ涙やもろき夕月夜木葉がくれに鹿ぞ鳴くなる

aki o omou
namida ya moroki
yūzukuyo
ko no hagakure ni
shika zo nakunaru
Filled with autumn feelings
Do tears drip down?
On a moonlit evening
Hidden ‘mong the leafy trees,
A stag does call.

Dōchin
71

Right (Win)

を山田に風の吹きしくいなむしろよなよな鹿のふしどなりけり

oyamada ni
kaze no fukishiku
inamushiro
yonayona shika no
fushidonarikeri
Across the mountain paddies
The wind blows, spreading
The rice into a coverlet, where
Night after night, the stag
Does lay his head.

Dharma Master Nyokan
72

The Left’s poem does not appear to have any faults worth indicating, yet the Right’s poem is still more pleasant. It should win.

Eien narabō uta’awase 05

Round Five

Left (Win)

さくらやまはなのさかりに風ふけばこずゑをこして白波ぞたつ

sakurayama
hana no sakari ni
kaze fukeba
kozue o koshite
shiranami zo tatsu
On the mount of Cherries
So fine is the blossom that
When the wind does blow,
Passing o’er the treetops,
Whitecaps arise!

Controller’s Graduate
9

Right

この春ははなにこころのあくがれてこのもとにてもくらしつるかな

kono haru wa
hana ni kokoro no
akugarete
ko no moto nite mo
kurashitsuru kana
This springtime
By the blossoms my heart
Is captivated, and
Beneath the trees
Does dwell!

Kerin’in Graduate
10

Both Left and Right, in terms of diction, tone and style are superb with no faults at all. Thus, this is a tie.

The final section of the Left’s poem lacks fluency, yet it has conception. As for the Right’s poem, in order for one’s heart to be captivated by the blossom on every single treetop, one would need to be walking around. If one is resting peacefully beneath the trees, then one should say that one’s heart is captured. This section sounds erroneous, so the Left should win.

Entō ōn’uta’awase 29

Round Twenty-Nine

Left (Win)

宮城のの木下風や過ぎぬらん露におくるる秋萩の花

miyagino no
ko no shitakaze ya
suginuran
tsuyu ni okururu
akihagi no hana
On Miyagi Plain has
The breeze beneath the trees
Passed by? For
Missing the dewfall are
The autumn bush clover blooms…

Takasuke
57

Right

物おもふやどの物とてながむれば露にをれふす庭の萩原

mono’omou
yado no mono tote
nagamureba
tsuyu ni orefusu
niwa no hagiwara
Sunk in gloomy thought is
The one who dwells here, I feel,
When I gaze upon,
Broken and tangled among the dewdrops,
The bush clover grove in the grounds…

Shimotsuke
58

The Left poem’s ‘Missing the dewfall are the autumn bush clover’ sounds pleasant. The Right poem has no faults either, yet the Left should win.