山しろのいはたの森のいはずとも秋の梢はしるくや有るらん
| yamashiro no iwata no mori no iwazu tomo aki no kozue wa shiruku ya aruran | In Yamashiro The forest of Iwata Lies wordless, yet The autumn treetops Might reveal all? |
465
Tag Archives: treetops
Naidaijin-ke uta’awase 11
Round Eleven
Left
さごろもの袂はせばしかづけども時雨の雨は心してふれ
| sagoromo no tamoto wa sebashi kazukedomo shigure no ame wa kokoroshite fure | My night robe’s Sleeves are narrow: I cover myself, yet, O rain shower, Fall with care! |
Lord Toshitaka
21
Right (Both Judges – Win)
はつ時雨音信しより水ぐきの岡の梢の色をしぞ思ふ
| hatsushigure otozureshi yori mizuguki no oka no kozue no iro o shi zo omou | Since the first shower Came to call, Mizuguki Hill’s treetops’ Hues fill my thoughts… |
Lord Tokimasa
22
Toshiyori states: the poem on night robes has ‘Fall with care!’ – is this expressing regret over getting wet? In addition, there’s ‘I cover myself, yet’: it would have been preferable to have this element first. The poem on the ‘first shower’ is not that remarkable, yet it does sound smooth. ‘Hues fill my thoughts’ feels conspicuously old-fashioned, and yet composing using ‘Mizuguki’ seem superior.
Mototoshi states: what on earth is the poet doing saying his ‘night robe’ is ‘narrow’? In the Code of the Shijō Major Counsellor this is indicted to be a bad thing—‘a shallow poem with weighty words’! The poem of the Right has ‘Since the first shower / Came to call’ and I feel that this is how a poem on showers ought to be. Saying ‘Hill’s treetops’ / Hues fill my thoughts’ is a bit trite, but still charming, so this is superior, isn’t it.
Naidaijin-ke uta’awase 04
Round Four
Left (M – Win)
水鳥の青葉の山やいかならん梢をそむる今朝のしぐれに
| mizutori no aoba no yama ya ika naran kozue o somuru kesa no shigure ni | Waterfowl fly above Aoba Mountain— O, what is to become Of the treetops dyed By this morning’s shower? |
Lord Akinaka
7
Right (T – Win)
かきくもり蜑の小ぶねにふく苫の下とほるまで時雨れしにけり
| kakikumori ama no obune ni fuku toma no shita tōru made shigureshinikeri | Clouds rake in above The fisher’s tiny boat— Through its rush-woven roof And even beneath A shower has fallen. |
Lord Michitsune
8
Toshiyori states: Continuing on from ‘Waterfowl fly above / Aoba Mountain’ with ‘the treetops dyed’ is simple and straightforward. The latter poem’s emphasis on the fisher’s tiny boat is an unexpected expression, yet because it is not a fault, I make this poem the winner.
Mototoshi states: saying ‘Waterfowl fly above / Aoba Mountain’ is extremely hackneyed, yet the poem of the Right has ‘Clouds rake in above / The fisher’s tiny boat— / Through its rush-woven roof’: both spring showers and summer ones, too, are not things which fall constantly, so it is difficult to believe that they could fall ‘even beneath’. So, I have to determine that a shower dyeing the treetops is a little better.
Sumiyoshi-sha uta’awase kaō ni-nen 45
Round Twenty
Left
たびねするいそのとまやのむらしぐれあはれをなみのうちそへてける
| tabinesuru iso no tomaya no murashigure aware o nami no utchisoetekeru | Dozing on my travels In a sedge-thatched hut upon the rocky shore, The cloudbursts’ Sadness with that of the waves Is laced. |
Lord Sane’ie
89
Right (Win)
もりもあへずまだきにぬるるたもとかなこずゑしぐるるまつのしたぶし
| mori mo aezu mada ki ni nururu tamoto kana kozue shigururu matsu no shitabushi | No drips Yet have come to my soaking Sleeves— The treetops showered, as Beneath the pines I lay me down. |
Atsuyori
90
The Left’s sound of the waves ‘In a sedge-thatched hut upon the rocky shore… Sadness with that of the waves / Is laced’ does, indeed, convey an inference of sadness, but the concluding ‘is laced’ sounds a bit inappropriate. The Right’s conception and configuration, too, are extremely charming. ‘Beneath the pines I lay me down’ is, I think, a novel construction—although I do get the impression that that it sounds like something which has prior precedent. Still, saying ‘No drips / Have yet come to my soaking’ and then ‘The treetops showered, as / Beneath the pines’ means that the sound conveys the loneliness as it truly is. Thus, again, the Right wins.
Kinkai wakashū 318
Sumiyoshi-sha uta’awase kaō ni-nen 17
Left (Tie)
月さゆるつもりのうらのみづがきはふりしくゆきにいろもかはらず
| tsuki sayuru tsumori no ura no mizukaki wa furishiku yuki ni iro wa kawarazu | The moon, so chill, shines Upon the Bay of Tsumori, Where the honored sacred grounds, Spread with fallen snow Remain unchanged in hue. |
Taifu, in service to the Former Ise Virgin[i]
33
Right
あらしふくまつのこずゑにきりはれてかみもこころやすみのえの月
| arashi fuku matsu no kozue ni kiri harete kami mo kokoro ya suminoe no tsuki | The storm wind blows Across the treetops of the pines, Clearing the mists away— I wonder, is the Deity’s heart at Suminoe beneath the moon? |
Lord Fujiwara no Sadanaga
Junior Assistant Minister of Central Affairs
Exalted Fifth Rank, Lower Grade[ii]
34
The Left’s poem appears to be about chill fallen snow spread upon Tsumori Bay, so in saying that the waters bounding the sacred grounds cannot conceal the hue, it appears to be saying that the moon’s light is white, but I wonder if the diction is a bit insufficient to convey this? It seems to me that it simply says that although snow has fallen on the waters bounding the sacred grounds, their hue has not changed—doesn’t it? As for the Right’s poem, I can say that its conception and configuration are pleasant, but it begins with ‘the storm wind blows’ and one cannot say ‘storm wind’ along with ‘beach pines’. One can understand this based on the poem ‘Yes, the mountain wind / Is aptly named “Storm”‘. Still, the poem’s configuration does appear pleasant. Again, I make this a tie.
[i] Zen-saigū no Taifu 前斎宮大輔
[ii] Jūgoige-gyō nakatsukasa no shō Fujiwara ason Sadanaga 従五位下行中務少輔藤原朝臣定長
Daikōtaigōgū no suke taira no tsunemori-ason ke uta’awase 48
Round Twelve
Left (Tie)
柞原しぐれにそむるくれなゐはこずゑの風や吹きてほすらん
| hahasowara shigure ni somuru kurenai wa kozue no kaze ya fukitehosuran | The oak groves by The showers are dyed With scarlet— Might the wind through the treetops, Gusting, bring dryness? |
Shinkaku
95
Right
紅葉ばは入日の影のさしそひてゆふくれなゐの色ぞことなる
| momijiba wa irihi no kage no sashisoite yūkurenai no iro zo kotonaru | The autumn leaves By sunset’s light Are struck, and Evening’s scarlet Hue is startlingly fine! |
Lay Priest Norinaga
96
In the Left’s poem I would want there to be an expression such as ‘robe’ or ‘brocade’ which is being blown. As for the Right, it lacks any unusual diction, but has no noticeable faults, so these should tie.
Sumiyoshi-sha uta’awase kaō ni-nen 05
Round Five
Left (Win)
ゆふかくるここちこそすれすみよしのまつのこずゑをてらす月かげ
| yū kakuru kokochi koso sure sumiyoshi no matsu no kozue o terasu tsukikage | All hung with sacred streamers I feel they are— At Sumiyoshi The treetops of the pines Shining in the moonlight. |
Lord Fujiwara no Shigenori
Captain of the Outer Palace Guards, Left Division
Exalted Senior Third Rank[1]
9
Right
すみよしのまつのこずゑをみわたせばこよひぞかくる月のしらゆふ
| sumiyoshi no matsu no kozue o miwataseba koyoi zo kakuru tsuki no shirayū | When, at Sumiyoshi Over the treetops of the pines I pass my gaze, Hung are they, this midnight With the moon’s white sacred streamers… |
Lord Fujiwara no Morikata
Junior Fourth Rank, Lower Grade
Without Office[2]
10
Left and Right have produced poems on the moon, both with the conception of it resembling white sacred streamers hung on the treetops of the pines, while the differences between them are charming, it does not sound as if the poem of the Right has any reason for singling out ‘this midnight’, while nothing appears lacking in the beauty of the Left’s work and thus, once more, it wins.
[1] Shōsan’i-gyō sahyōe no kami Fujiwara ason Shigenori 正三位行左兵衛督藤原朝臣成範
[2] San’i jūshi’ige Fujiwara ason Morikata 散位従四位下藤原朝臣盛方
Daikōtaigōgū no suke taira no tsunemori-ason ke uta’awase 41
Round Five
Left
あさひ山みねの紅葉をみわたせばよもの木末に照りまさりけり
| asahiyama mine no momiji o miwataseba yomo no kozue ni terimasarikeri | When upon Asahi Mountain’s Peak of scarlet leaves I turn my gaze, All over, the treetops Shine most bright! |
Tamechika
81
Right (Win)
紅のやしほの色にめかれすなおなじはもりの神といへども
| kurenai no yashio no iro ni mekaresu na onaji hamori no kami to iedomo | From the scarlet, Deeply dyed, hues O, avert not your eyes! Though the same leaves’ guardian Deity you are called… |
Moromitsu
82
The Left has nothing particular to say and its expression is awkward. As for the Right, a number of learned men seem to have said that one does not compose about the guardian deity of the leaves in relation to trees in general, but about oak trees, yet a great many things have deities to protect them, so I wonder if the guardian deity of the leaves could be a deity for all types of tree—couldn’t it protect any of them? Thus, in this poem, too, couldn’t that be the case? While the concluding ‘though you are called’sounds overly direct, it appears it should win.
