Former Emperor Yōzei, on the 15th day of the Ninth Month, when it fell upon the day of Elder Brother-Metal Monkey, held a poetry match of the Left and Right with his eldest son’s daughters, the First Princess and the Second Princess, as the leaders of the two teams, composing poems in response to prior poems on the conception of the end of autumn.
Original
つきかげのやましたまでにさやけきはよるももみぢのいろをみよとや
tsukikage no yamashita made ni sayakeki wa yoru mo momiji no iro o miyo to ya
The moonlight To the mountains’ foot Is clear, so At night, too, the scarlet leaves’ Hues behold—I wonder if they say!
1
Left
もみぢせぬあきのやまべのあらばこそつきのひかりをたづねてもみめ
momiji senu aki no yamabe no araba koso tsuki no hikari o tazunete mo miyu
Should scarlet leaves be not Upon the autumn mountainside Then, surely, still The moon’s light Would I visit to see.
aki no yo no fukeyuku kaze ni kumo harete hanada no sora ni sumeru tsukikage
As the autumn night Wears on, the wind Clears away the cloud, and From the pale indigo sky Comes clear moonlight.
Controller’s Graduate 37
Right
ふるさとのときぞともなきさびしさもなぐさむばかりすめる月かな
furusato no toki zo tomonaki sabishisa mo nagusamu bakari sumeru tsuki kana
In the ancient capital Timeless is The lonely sadness Consoled only By the clear, bright moon!
Kerin’in Graduate 38
The Left’s poem is a transparent copy of an older work. That poem is:
天の原四方のむら雲吹きはらひみどりの空にすめる月影
ama no hara yomo no muragumo fukiharai midori no sora ni sumeru tsukikage
Across the plain of Heaven All the crowding clouds Are blown away, and From the sky so green Comes clear moonlight.[i]
I don’t feel this is in any way different. As for the Right’s poem, while it is not the case that it is entirely without conception, it lacks any exemplary elements, so I don’t see how I can possibly recommend either of these.
The Left’s poem isn’t bad, but it should be revised to use ‘sky so green’, because using ‘pale indigo sky’ is vague. To decide in favour of it I would need there to be a prior poem as precedent. The Right’s poem is not particularly exemplary, but it does sound as if there are times like that. In the absence of a precedent for the Left, the poem of the Right wins.
ima sara ni fushi mo sadamenu shika no ne yo ko no ha no kazu no tsumoru goto ni
At around this time, With his bedding undecided, The stag bells out! Just as the leaves’ from on the trees numbers Do mount up…
Shō 75
Right (Win)
木葉ちる夜半の嵐の月影に心すみてや鹿も鳴くらん
ko no ha chiru yowa no arashi no tsukikage ni kokoro sumite ya shika mo nakuran
Leaves scatter from the trees In the midnight storm In the moonlight From his wild and earthy thoughts Does the stag, too, cry out?
Nagatsuna 76
The Left’s ‘just as the leaves from on the trees numbers do mount up’ at night and so forth, appears to be a novel style, yet the Right poem sounds more gorgeous, so it wins.
