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Nishinomiya uta’awase 06

Round Six

Left

雲かかる高志のやまの明暮に妻まどはせるを鹿鳴くなり

kumo kakaru
takashi no yama no
akegure ni
tsuma madowaseru
oshika naku nari
All hung about with cloud
On Takashi Mountain
In the gloaming
Having lost his mate
A stag bells out.

Nakamasa
11

Right

山がつの先あかつきをしりがほに裾野に出でて鹿ぞ鳴くなる

yamagatsu no
mazu akatsuki o
shirigao ni
susono ni idete
shika zo naku naru
A mountain man
First of all, that ‘tis dawn
Knows plain upon his face,
As he sets out upon the slopes
As a stag bells out!

Head
12

The Left poem’s conclusion, ‘Having lost his mate / A stag bells out’ seems no different from that of a poem by Gō no Jijū in poetry match held by the First Princess.[1] As for the poem of the Right’s ‘A mountain man / Awaits the dawn / Knowing plain upon his face’—what on earth might a mountain man look like while waiting for dawn? There is the tale of Hangu Pass in Cathay, where the barrier guard was waiting for dawn and opened the gate after hearing a cock’s crow, but the expression ‘a mountain man awaits the dawn’ has never appeared before in a poem—either one of Cathay or in the words of Yamato, so I feel that both Left and Right lack any superlative qualities.


[1] Stags. をぐら山たちどもみえぬゆふぎりにつままどはせるしかぞなくなる ogurayama / tachidomo mienu / yūgiri ni / tsuma madowaseru / shika zo nakunaru ‘On gloomy Ogura Mountain / Stands unseen / Among the evening mists / Having lost his mate / A belling stag.’ (Yūshi naishinnō-ke uta’awase eishō go-nen 27). This event was held at the residence of Imperial Princess Sukeko (Yūshi) on the 5th day of the Sixth Month, Eishō 5 [26.10.1050]. The poem won its round, and was later included in Goshūishū (IV: 292).

Nishinomiya uta’awase 02

Round Two

Left

人しれずはれぬ歎きの有るものを普くてらせ秋のよの月

hito shirezu
harenu nageki no
aru mono o
amaneku terase
aki no yo no tsuki
Unknown to all
A grief which never clears
I have, so
Shine without restraint,
O, moon this autumn night!

His Excellency, Nagazane, Former Assistant Governor General of Dazai
3

Right

山の端のうき雲晴れてすみのぼる月と共にもゆくこころかな

yama no ha no
ukigumo harete
suminoboru
tsuki to tomo ni
yuku kokoro kana
At the mountains’ edge
The drifting clouds unfurl, and
Clearly climbing
With the moon
Goes my spirit!

Lady Hyōenokami
4

In the poem of the Left, the expression following ‘A grief which never clears / I have, so’ is both forceful and lacking in gentility; in addition, the poem of the Right’s ‘drifting clouds clear away’ and what follows seems stagnant, so the light of the moon these nights seems to be of the same standard.

Eien narabō uta’awase 33

Round Five

Left

君がよはながゐのうらのはまかぜにたつしらなみのかずもしられず

kimi ga yo wa
nagai no ura no
hamakaze ni
tatsu shiranami no
kazu mo shirarezu
My Lord’s reign:
At Nagai Bay
The beach breezes
Rouse the whitecaps
In number entirely unknown.

Controller’s Graduate
65

Right

きみがよをまつちのやまのこまつばらちよのけしきを見るぞうれしき

kimi ga yo o
matsuchi no yama no
komatsubara
chiyo no keshiki o
miru zo ureshiki
My Lord’s reign
Awaiting upon Matsuchi Mountain
The pine seedling groves
The sight for a thousand ages
Joyfully will see!

Kerin’in Graduate
66

It’s impossible to decide on a winner or loser between the Left and the Right here in terms of conception, diction and overall style. To put it in general terms, I must make this round a further tie.

Neither Left nor Right is remarkable, but nor do they have any faults to mention. I’d make this round a tie.

Eien narabō uta’awase 31

Round Three

Left[i]

君が代は神にぞいのる住之江の松の千年をゆづれとおもへば

kimi ga yo wa
kami ni zo inoru
suminoe no
matsu no chitose o
yuzure to omoeba
My Lord’s reign:
To the gods I pray, that
Suminoe’s
Pines their thousand years
Pass on—that is my hope…

Retired from the World
61a

きみがへむやちよのかずはあめにますとよをかひめの神やしるらん

kimi ga hemu
yachiyo no kazu wa
ame ni masu
toyo’okahime no
kami ya shiruran
That my Lord will endure
The number of eight thousand ages—
Residing in the heavens,
The Goddess of the Eternal Hills,
The deity, knows well, no doubt!

Retired from the World
61b

Right (Win)

君がよはつきじとぞおもふ春の日の御笠の山にささむかぎりは

kimi ga yo wa
tsukiji to zo omou
haru no hi no
mikasa no yama ni
sasamu kagiri wa
My Lord’s reign
Will never fade, I feel!
While in spring the sun
Upon Mikasa Mountain
Shines down…

Senior Assistant Minister Past Lecturer
62

Both Left and Right have neither strengths nor weakness in their diction and sense, but I feel that ‘While in spring the sun / Upon Mikasa Mountain / Shines down’ is a bit more dependable at present than ‘Suminoe’s / Pines their thousand years’.

It is certainly not the case that there are no dubious elements about the Left’s poem. As ‘eight thousand ages’ is a definite number, what is it that the Goddess of the Eternal Hills is expected to know? If this is something in the deity’s hands, then it should be, ‘does not even know the number’. I’m sure the Goddess herself would ask what she’s expected to know. The Right seems stronger.


[i] There are different poems by Eien this round in different versions of the text of the contest. As can be inferred from the judgements, Mototoshi saw the first poem and Toshiyori the second. This strongly suggests that Mototoshi’s judgements were circulated before the text of the contest was submitted to Toshiyori, and Eien revised his poem this round as a result (Kubota et al. 2018, 308).

Eien narabō uta’awase 27

Round Six

Left

ふるゆきに山のほそみちうづもれてまれにとひこし人もかよはず

furu yuki ni
yama no hosomichi
uzumorete
mare ni toikoshi
hito mo kayowazu
With the falling snow
The mountain’s narrow pathways
Are buried;
But rarely did he visit and now
Cannot make his way at all.

Cell of Fragrant Cloud
53

Right

あしたつるみわのひばらにゆきふかみみやぎひくをのかよひぢもなし

ashi tatsuru
miwa no hibara ni
yuki fukami
miyagi hiku o no
kayoiji mo nashi
Reeds stand tall in
Miwa, where the cypress groves
Are deep with snow;
To cut sacred timber, the woodsman
Has no path to tread at all.

Cell of Compassionate Light
54

The Left’s poem, in terms of style and diction, entirely grasps the way someone might feel. What a sense of grief! The Right’s poem is composition that fairly drips and delves into playfulness, but in so doing lacks feeling. Truly, the former poem has superlative qualities, resembling a black dragon’s pearl![i] Thus, the Left must win.

The Left does seem to have been composed but simply stated. It possesses a calm elegance. The Right seems to have been created after a great deal of thought. This poem shows effort and the former such calm that I wish to declare them a tie. This may enrage the poets, but the ignorant may give the appearance of being knowledgeable, as they say. I wonder who composed these…


[i] Riju 驪珠 as an abbreviation of riryū no tama 驪龍の珠 (‘black dragon’s pearl’). Mototoshi uses this analogy deliberately as black dragons were associated with winter. The pearl, which they were often depicted as holding or being located in their throat, was a symbol of the dragon’s spiritual development and a marker of its immortality. This is thus an effusive statement of praise for Shōchō’s poem.

Eien narabō uta’awase 26

Round Five

Left (Tie)

うちきらしあまぎるそらと見しほどにやがてつもれる雪の白山

uchikirashi
amagiru sora to
mishi hodo ni
yagate tsumoreru
yuki no shirayama
Suddenly concealed
By mist, the skies
I glimpsed and
In a moment drifted
Snow covered Shira Mountain with white.

Controller’s Graduate
51

Right

としをへてふし見の山にふるゆきはとこめづらにもおもしろきかな

toshi o hete
fushimi no yama ni
furu yuki wa
tokomezura ni mo
omoshiroki kana
Through all the passing years
Upon Fushimi Mountain
The falling snow
Feels ever fresh
And full of charm!

Kerin’in Graduate

52

The poem of the Left’s ‘Suddenly concealed / By mist, the skies’ is a clear case of repeating the same meaning. In addition, ‘snow covered Shira Mountain’ is one which is snow-capped regardless of whether it’s summer or winter. It’s not a mountain where one would be startled at seeing it ‘suddenly concealed’. The poem of the Right says that ‘through all the passing years the estate at Fushimi…feels ever fresh’, which seems as if this poem is specifying a period when this applies. It’s certainly a bit of a reach to say that this would be charming, but it’s not incongruous. Thus, I make this a tie.

I am unable to grasp the sense of the Left poem’s ‘suddenly concealed’. If it had been ‘concealed with falling’ then that would be better. In addition, I don’t understand the final ‘snow covered Shira Mountain’ either. I would have preferred it if the order had been ‘Shira Mountain’s snow’, but putting the ‘snow’ first seems to lack fluency and so, regretfully I would change this.

The Right’s ‘Fushimi Mountain’ is difficult to understand. It seems that ‘estate’ is a more standard composition, and ‘mountain’ is a novel usage. Having ‘Fushimi’ ‘feel fresh’ is evidence of thought, but even so, ‘mountain’ is vague.