For a folding screen with Mount Yoshino painted on it.
みよしのの山にこもりし山人や花をばやどの物と見るらん
| miyoshino no yama ni komorishi yamabito ya hana oba yado no mono to miruran | Upon fair Yoshino Mountain sealed Might the sage The blossom his dwelling’s Property consider? |
Composed when I had held an archery entertainment, and made a model of Mount Yoshino, with a sage gazing at blossom upon it.
みよしのの山に入りけん山人となりみてしかな花にあくやと
| miyoshino no yama ni iriken yamabito to nari miteshi kana hana ni aku ya to | Into fair Yoshino’s Mountains would I go; A mountain man Having become Might I have enough of blossom? |
Left (Win)
山深み歎きこる男のをのれのみ苦しくまどふ恋の道かな
| yama fukami nageki koru o no onore nomi kurushiku madou koi no michi kana | Deep within the mountains Felling trees, a woodsman’s Axe, my grief Leaves me in pained confusion On the paths of love… |
Lord Sada’ie
1187
Right
山人の帰る家路を思ふにも逢はぬ歎きぞ休むまもなき
| yamabito no kaeru ieji o omou ni mo awanu nageki zo yasumu ma mo naki | A mountain man, Homeward bound, Is in my thoughts, but Unable to meet with you grief Gives me no respite. |
Ietaka
1188
Left and Right together state: no faults to mention.
In judgement: the Left has a profound conception of love. The Right’s ‘homeward bound’ (kaeru ieji) and ‘unable to meet with you grief’ (awanu nageki) are extremely difficult to grasp, I think. The Left should win.
Left.
山人の便りなりとも岡邊なる椎の小枝は折ずもあらなむ
| yamabito no tayori naritomo okabenaru shii no koyade wa orazu mo aranamu |
For the mountain folk Essential they may be, but Upon the hillside The brushwood branches I would have them leave unbroken… |
567
Right.
山深く賤の折りたく椎柴の音さへ寒き朝ぼらけかな
| yama fukaku shizu no oritaku shiishiba no oto sae samuki asaborake kana |
Deep within the mountains Woodsmen break and burn The brushwood; That sound brings the chill To me this dawning… |
568
The Right wonder what the intention is in the Left’s poem of regretting the breakage of ‘brushwood branches’. The Left say that the Right’s poem, ‘recalls a famous poem by one of the other gentlemen of the Right.’
Shunzei’s judgement: Simply using the old-fashioned koyade in place of the more current shiishiba does not improve the sound of the poem, I think. Starting ‘Deep within the mountains’ (yama fukaku) and then continuing ‘Woodsmen break and burn’ (shizu no oritaku) – is this supposed to convey the conception of felling trees [shiba o koru kokoro ni ya]? I hardly think that if one lived in the mountains, the sound of trees being cut and burnt would make one feel the chill. The diction of ‘deep within the mountains’ does not seem appropriate [‘yama fukaku’ no kotoba, kanai mo sezaru]. Given that it does sound old-fashioned, koyade does not sound like a winner, either. The poems are of equal quality.