Left (Win)
あだなりと人やみるらん年毎にとまらぬあきををしむこころは
| ada nari to hito ya miruran toshigoto ni tomaranu aki o oshimu kokoro wa | Deceitful does it Appear to her? Every single year When autumn lingers not, that My heart is filled with regret… |
3
Right
よそ人も秋はをしきを浅茅生のむべもこゑごゑ鹿やなくらん
| yosobito mo aki wa oshiki o asajū no mube mo koegoe shika ya nakuran | Does even a stranger Feel regret in autumn, when From among the cogon grass, Indeed, the belling of The stags seems to sound? |
4
Left.
思わく心も知らぬよそ人はまだいとけなき音とや聞く覧
| omoiwaku kokoro mo shiranu yosobito wa mada itokenaki oto ya kikuran |
An understanding Of my heart is lacking, so All those strangers Still like a child Do speak to me – that must be why! |
Lord Kanemune.
857
Right (Win).
何となく遊び馴れぬる筒井つの影離れ行く音のみ泣かれて
| nani to naku asobinarenuru tsutsuitsu no kage hanareyuku ne nomi nakarete |
Simply Was I used to playing, but From the pipe-well Our reflected faces have grown distant, so I do but weep and sob… |
Jakuren.
858
The Right state: the Left’s poem seems a bit too young. The Left state: ‘Simply was I used to playing’ (nani to naku asobinarenuru) seems rather prosaic diction.
In judgement: although the latter part of the Left’s poem and the initial section of the Right’s are both pleasant, the Left’s use of ‘speak’ (oto) feels unnecessary. The latter section of the Right’s poem seems particularly good. It should win.