Left (Tie)
思ひかねうち寢る宵もありなまし吹だにすさめ庭の松風
omoikane
uchineru yoi mo
arinamashi
fuki dani susame
niwa no matsukaze |
Unable to bear the pains of love, and
Dozing through the night –
That happens sometimes;
O, just blow gently,
Breeze through the garden pines! |
A Servant Girl
1043
Right
思ひかねながむれば又夕日さす軒端の岡の松もうらめし
omoikane
nagamureba mata
yūhi sasu
nokiba no oka no
matsu mo urameshi |
Unable to bear the pains of love,
When I gaze out, once more
The evening sun shines
Past my eaves, where on the hillside
Even the pines seem resentful… |
Ietaka
1044
Same as the previous round.
In judgement: here we have ‘O, just blow gently’ (fuki dani susame), and the Right has ‘Past my eaves, where on the hillside’ (nokiba no oka no): these recollect the poems ‘in the depths of sleep I tread to you’ (uchinuru naka ni yukikayou) and ‘the beams strike the hillside through the pine needles’ (sasu ya okabe no matsu no ha); both sound elegant. I make this round a tie.
木の間よりなびく夕日のほどもなし嵐に吹雪く小夜の中山
ko no ma yori
nabiku yūhi no
hodo mo nashi
arashi ni fubuku
sayo no nakayama |
From between the trees
The evening sun tries to stream
But finds no space;
Wind-blown by the storms is
Sayo-no-Nakayama. |
Ietaka
Left (Win).
くり返し春の糸ゆふ幾代へておなじ緑の空に見ゆらむ
kurikaeshi
haru no itoyū
iku yo hete
onaji midori no
sora ni miyuramu |
Time and time again
The threaded heat haze of spring,
As uncounted ages pass,
In identical azure
Skies must appear… |
Lord Sada’ie.
107
Right.
のどかなる夕日の空をながむれば薄紅に染むるいとゆふ
nodokanaru
yūhi no sora o
nagamureba
usukurenai ni
somuru itoyū |
When on the tranquil
Sunset sky
I gaze,
Pale crimson
Stains the haze. |
Ietaka.
108
Neither team has anything to say about the other’s poem this round.
Shunzei, however, says, ‘Although the expressions ‘time and time again’ (kurikaeshi) and ‘uncounted ages pass’ (iku yo hete) seem somewhat forced connections with ‘threaded’ (ito), the final section beginning ‘identical azure’ (onaji midori) is superb. The essence of the Right’s poem, of gazing at the sky at sunset with the threads of haze stained, is charming, but I wonder whether it would not have been better not to force the reference to sunset into the poem. ‘Azure skies’ must win.
'Simply moving and elegant'