Left.
白菊の散らぬは殘る色顔に春は風をも恨みけるかな
| shiragiku no chiranu wa nokoru irogao ni haru wa kaze o mo uramikeru kana |
The white chrysanthemums Will not scatter: they have about them That look Towards the springtime wind Of spite! |
503
Right (Win).
花もかく雪の籬まで見る菊の匂ひは袖にまた殘さなん
| hana mo naku yuki no mase made miru kiku no nioi wa sode ni mata nokosanan |
Until flowers are there none And snow piles against my fence, Gazing at the chrysanthemums, I wish the scent upon my sleeves Would linger yet… |
504
The Right state that the Left’s poem has nothing to do with lingering chrysanthemums in its initial part, and the concluding section is incomprehensible [kokoroegatashi]. The Left merely remark that the Right’s ‘snow piles against my fence’ (yuki no mase) sounds poor [kikiyokarazu].
Shunzei’s judgement: The gentleman of the Right states that ‘the Left’s poem has nothing to do with lingering chrysanthemums’ – this really isn’t the case, is it? Even superficially, this is not true [omote naki ni wa arazu].However, I am unable to accept ‘look’ (irogao) as appropriate diction. In the Right’s poem, ‘snow piles against my fence’ (yuki no mase), again, charmingly and especially reflects the conception of lingering chrysanthemums [zangiku no kokoro mo koto ni miete okashiku koso mie]. In general, hearing both sides complaining that the other’s poems ‘sound poor’ or ‘grate upon the ear’ is itself unpleasant to hear. The Right wins.