Love II: 9

Left.

偽りの言の葉ならんと思へども契はなをも情成けり

itsuwari no
koto no ha naran to
omoedomo
chigiri wa nao mo
nasake narikeri
Lying
Words they must be,
I thought, but
That vow was, indeed,
Made with feeling!

Lord Suetsune.

677

Right (Win).

頼むべき榻の丸寢の言の葉は思ひ絶えねと言はぬばかりぞ

tanomubeki
shiji no marune no
koto no ha wa
omoitaene to
iwanu bakari zo
‘Trust that, if you
Sleep full-clothed on the carriage stoop…’
Those words of hers –
Forget them!
Oh, don’t tell me that!

Jakuren.

678

The Gentlemen of the Right state: the Left has no deeper significance. The Gentlemen of the Left state: the Right’s poem introduces the diction of ‘sleep full-clothed on the carriage stoop’ (shiji no marune), but it then sounds as if there is no further development.

Shunzei’s judgement: while it does, indeed, sound as if ‘sleep full-clothed on the carriage stoop’ has no connection with the remainder of the poem, everything from ‘that vow was, indeed’ (chigiri wa nao) is poor; I must say the Right is superior.

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