Left (Win).
思ひやる心づかひの幾かへり我待つ人を驚かすらむ
omoiyaru
kokorozukai no
iku kaeri
matsu hito o
odorokasuramu |
Lost in thought
May the messages of my heart go
Time and time again
To the one I await:
I wonder, will he notice? |
Lord Kanemune.
689
Right.
さりともと思ひ鎭むる甲斐ぞなきまだ來ぬ程の心騷ぎに
saritomo to
omoishizumuru
kai zo naki
mada konu hodo no
kokoro sawagi ni |
It may be so, but…
With that I calmed my thoughts, but
It has had no effect:
While he has yet to come
My heart is wild… |
Lord Tsune’ie.
690
Both Left and Right state there are no faults in the other’s poems worth mentioning.
Shunzei’s judgement: in the Left’s poem, ‘the messages of my heart’ (kokorozukai) does not sound bad. The Right’s ‘while he has yet to come’ by avoiding direct mention of ‘waiting’ appears to reduce its significance. It also appears that the poet is ignorant of the past. Thus, the Left wins.
Left (Win).
先の世を思ふさへこそ嬉しけれ契も今日の契りのみかは
saki no yo o
omou sae koso
ureshikere
chigiri mo kyō no
chigiri nomi ka wa |
A prior life is
In my thoughts and that
Makes me more happy;
Our vow today
Is not the only one… |
Lord Ari’ie.
683
Right.
さても猶人の心を知らぬ間は契るさへこそ思ひなりけれ
sate mo nao
hito no kokoro o
shiranu ma wa
chigiru sae koso
omoinarikere |
Well, I still
Find her heart
A puzzle, and
That we might just form a bond
Is the focus of my thoughts… |
Ietaka.
684
The Left and Right remarks are the same in essence as those of the previous round.
Shunzei’s judgement: the Left’s poem certainly is a deeply moving account of a vow lasting over a long period. In the Right’s poem, the use of ‘just’ (sae) prior to ‘the focus of my thoughts’ (omoinarikere) is inappropriate. The Left has definitely won.
Left.
あぢきなし誰もはかなき命もて頼めば今日の暮を頼めよ
ajikinashi
tare mo hakanaki
inochi mote
tanomeba kyō no
kure o tanomeyo |
How tedious!
All have so brief
A life, that
When I wish, it is for this
Evening, that you should give me! |
Lord Sada’ie.
681
Right (Win).
たゞ頼め例へば人の偽りを重ねてこそは又も恨みめ
tada tanome
tatoeba hito no
itsuwari o
kasanete koso wa
mata mo uramime |
Just believe in me!
And then if my
Lies
Should mount higher,
Then, once more, you can hate me! |
Nobusada.
682
The Left and Right both state: we find no faults to mention.
Shunzei’s judgement: although ‘when I wish, it is for this’ (tanomeba kyō no) is an extremely natural expression, the configuration of ‘and then if my lies’ (tatoeba hito no itsuwari) sounds even more profound. Thus, the Right should win.
Left (Tie).
生けらばと誓ふその日も猶來ずはあたりの雲を我と眺めよ
ikeraba to
chikau sono hi mo
nao kozu wa
atari no kumo o
ware to nagameyo |
Had I lived…think on
That day you vowed, and
Yet came not;
On the clouds close by
Gaze and think of me… |
A Servant Girl.
679
Right.
言の葉にしばしもとまる露の命かけんかけじは君にまかせつ
koto no ha ni
shibashi mo tomaru
tsuyu no inochi
kaken kakeji wa
kimi ni makasetsu |
Words that
Remain so briefly –
A dewdrop life –
To give them, or give them not,
That I leave to you! |
Lord Takanobu.
680
The Gentlemen of the Right state: there is nothing particularly at fault with the Left’s poem. The Gentlemen of the Left state: the Right’s poem is not that good.
Shunzei’s judgement: mentioning ‘the clouds close by’ (atari no kumo) and ‘remain so briefly –as does life’ (shibashi mo tomaru inochi) gives both poems a sense of pathos. I would say they are of the same quality.
Left.
偽りの言の葉ならんと思へども契はなをも情成けり
itsuwari no
koto no ha naran to
omoedomo
chigiri wa nao mo
nasake narikeri |
Lying
Words they must be,
I thought, but
That vow was, indeed,
Made with feeling! |
Lord Suetsune.
677
Right (Win).
頼むべき榻の丸寢の言の葉は思ひ絶えねと言はぬばかりぞ
tanomubeki
shiji no marune no
koto no ha wa
omoitaene to
iwanu bakari zo |
‘Trust that, if you
Sleep full-clothed on the carriage stoop…’
Those words of hers –
Forget them!
Oh, don’t tell me that! |
Jakuren.
678
The Gentlemen of the Right state: the Left has no deeper significance. The Gentlemen of the Left state: the Right’s poem introduces the diction of ‘sleep full-clothed on the carriage stoop’ (shiji no marune), but it then sounds as if there is no further development.
Shunzei’s judgement: while it does, indeed, sound as if ‘sleep full-clothed on the carriage stoop’ has no connection with the remainder of the poem, everything from ‘that vow was, indeed’ (chigiri wa nao) is poor; I must say the Right is superior.
Left (Win).
行末はあひ見て後や知らるべき今日はその日と契るばかりぞ
yukusue wa
aimite nochi ya
shirarubeki
kyō wa sono hi to
chigiru bakari zo |
What will become of us?
Upon our meeting
Will we know it?
Today is that day and
Our only promise! |
Lord Kanemune.
675
Right.
待てと言ひしその言の葉にかゝりつゝ露の命も消ぬとを知れ
mate to iishi
sono koto no ha ni
kakaritsutsu
tsuyu no inochi mo
kienu to wo shire |
‘Just wait!’ you said, and
To those words
I am clinging, but
A dewdrop life
Can vanish – you should know! |
The Provisional Master of the Empress’ Household Office.
676
The Right have nothing particular to say about the Left’s poem. The Left simply say that the Right’s poem contains sentiments heard many times before [tsune ni kikinaretaru yoshi].
Shunzei’s judgement: The Left’s poem is nothing remarkable, but I feel it is a little gentler [ima sukoshi otonashikuhaberu]. I must make it the winner.
Left (Win).
葛城や夜の契りは空しきに物思ふ橋はなどや途絶えぬ
kuzuragi ya
yoru no chigiri wa
munashiki ni
mono’omou hashi wa
nado ya todaenu |
Just as Kuzuragi,
A night’s vow
Is empty, yet
My longing’s end:
Why does it never come? |
Kenshō.
673
Right.
頼むるに露の命をかけつればこの言の葉ぞ置き所なき
tanomuru ni
tsuyu no inochi o
kaketsureba
kono koto no ha zo
okidokoro naki |
Trustworthy for
A dewdrop life’s
Length, but
These words of yours
Will find no place here… |
Lord Tsune’ie.
674
The Gentlemen of the Right state: the Left’s poem contains a significant amount of less than desirable diction. The Gentlemen of the Left state: we have nothing in particular to mention.
Shunzei’s judgement: while the Left’s ‘Why does it never come?’ (nado ya todaenu) is certainly undesirable, the initial section is most tasteful [yū]. The Right’s ‘dewdrop life long’ (tsuyu no inochi o kaku) ‘words’ (koto no ha) seems hackneyed, so still, ‘Kuzuragi Bridge’ should stand as the winner.
'Simply moving and elegant'