Love II: 15

Left (Win).

思ひやる心づかひの幾かへり我待つ人を驚かすらむ

omoiyaru
kokorozukai no
iku kaeri
matsu hito o
odorokasuramu
Lost in thought
May the messages of my heart go
Time and time again
To the one I await:
I wonder, will he notice?

Lord Kanemune.

689

Right.

さりともと思ひ鎭むる甲斐ぞなきまだ來ぬ程の心騷ぎに

saritomo to
omoishizumuru
kai zo naki
mada konu hodo no
kokoro sawagi ni
It may be so, but…
With that I calmed my thoughts, but
It has had no effect:
While he has yet to come
My heart is wild…

Lord Tsune’ie.

690

Both Left and Right state there are no faults in the other’s poems worth mentioning.

Shunzei’s judgement: in the Left’s poem, ‘the messages of my heart’ (kokorozukai) does not sound bad. The Right’s ‘while he has yet to come’ by avoiding direct mention of ‘waiting’ appears to reduce its significance. It also appears that the poet is ignorant of the past. Thus, the Left wins.

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