Love III: 6

Left (Win).

袖の波胸の煙は誰も見よ君が憂き名の立つぞ悲しき

sode no nami
mune no kemuri wa
tare mo miyo
kimi ga ukina no
tatsu zo kanashiki
The waves upon my sleeves, and
The smoke rising from my breast –
Let all see them!
But should you, my love, be called heartless,
That would make me sad…

A Servant Girl.

731

Right.

うとからぬ人こそ今は恨みけれ忍びしほどの心強さを

utokaranu
hito koso ima wa
uramikere
shinobishi hodo no
kokorozuyosa o
My family and friends
Now I do
Despise:
For when our love was hidden,
They were all so cold…

Jakuren.

732

The Right state: the Left’s poem has no faults to indicate. The Left state: by prioritising the emotions of the relatives, the poem does not clearly express the conception of Love.

In judgement: the initial section of the Left’s poem sounds fine, but the final ‘would make me sad’ (kanashiki) is going too far. The Gentlemen of the Left have accurately described the faults of the Right’s poem, but beyond that there is nothing praiseworthy in the poem’s style, either. Thus I make the Left the winner.

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