Love VI: 23

Left (Win).
さはらずは今宵ぞ君を頼むべき袖には雨の時わかねども

sawarazu wa
koyoi zo kimi o
tanomubeki
sode ni wa ame no
toki wakanedomo
If you were unhindered
On this night, then, my love,
In you I could trust;
But on my sleeves the rain
Falls without surcease…

Lord Sada’ie.
945

Right.
來ぬ人を待つ夜更け行秋の雨は袖にのみ降る心地こそすれ

konu hito o
matsu yo fukeyuku
aki no ame wa
sode ni nomi furu
kokochi koso sure
When a man who fails to come
Is awaited and the night grows late,
The autumn rain
Falls on my sleeves, alone –
That is what I feel!

Ietaka.
946

A woman wearing a kimono kneeling on the veranda of a traditional Japanese house with the rain falling outside.
Created with Adobe Firefly.
A kuzushiji version of the poem's text.
Created with Soan.

The Right state: the phrase ‘if you were unhindered’ (sawarazu wa) sounds poor. The Left state: the Right have simply composed a poem just like Lord Yorimasa’s君戀ふとながめあかせる夜の雨は袖にしも降る心地こそすれ kimi kou to / nagame akaseru / yoru no ame wa / sode ni shimo furu / kokochi koso sure ‘That you love me / I have heard enough / This night when the rain / Upon my sleeves especially does fall – / That is what I feel!’.

In judgement: the Left are said to have a poor-sounding phrase, and the Right to have referred to Yorimasa’s poem. That it is difficult to entirely avoid to referring poems outside of the anthologies is something which people still seem to be unable to remember, but the Gentlemen of the Left have recalled this well. The final section of the Right’s poem does bear an uncanny resemblance to Yorimasa’s poem. If there should be a prior example of a phrase’s use, then while it maybe poor-sounding, the Left should win.

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