morobito no
tachi’iru niwa no
sakazuki ni
hikari mo shirushi
chiyo no hatsuharu
Where the courtier crowds
Sit and stand within the gardens,
Upon the wine cups
Light is e’en a sign, of
A thousand generations, at the start of spring.
Neither team finds any fault in the other’s poem this round.
Shunzei’s judgement: The conception [kokoro] of the Left’s ‘Announce! For a thousand generations the signs are placed’ (nobeyo to chiyo no shirushi zo oku) is fine [yoroshiku haberubeshi]. The configuration of the Right’s poem, too, is splendid [sugata wa yū ni haberu], but ‘wine cups’ (sakazuki) seems rather abrupt. ‘Light’ (hikari) could beimagined as coming from the moon, but its origin is not entirely clear. Thus, as a result, the Left must win.
The Right state that there is not doubting the conception of the Left’s poem as a Festival poem [sechie no kokoro wa utagainashi]. The final section, though, does not fit this [kokoro yukazu]. The Left state that the first five syllables of the Right’s poem are grating to hear [mimi ni tachite kikoyu].
Shunzei’s judgement: The Left’s poem is truly completely in keeping with the conception of the topic [dai no kokoro wa makoto ni kagirinaku], but ‘A broad bolt of silken cloth!’ (hirohata no kinu) really does seem unsuited. The Right’s poem concerns the Ice Testing on New Year’s Day, and so does have the conception of a festival poem, but [en no kokoro mo habaramedo] on the face of it the poem feels more like one on the topic of Ice-Houses. However, it is still the case that hirohata sounds poor [yoshikarazu kikoe]. I will make ‘Ice Houses’ the winner.
The Right find no faults in the Left’s poem this round. The Left state that the conception [kokoro] of the Right’s poem is incorrect for the topic of Festivals on New Year’s Day. It suggests, rather, the Migusuri rites.
Shunzei’s judgement: The Left’s poem starts with ‘To the fresh-jewelled’ (aratama no) which is approprate for the first poem in the first round, but concludes with ‘Will the esteemed draught be bestowed!’ (miki tamau nari), which is extremely pedestrian diction [muge ni tada kotoba ni haberan]. The Left have stated that the Right’s poem lacks the conception of the festivals [en no kokoro naki]. That may be the case, but still I wonder if it is lacking as a festival poem? It does refer to celebration. The round should tie.
2nd Year of Tempyô-Shôhô [750], Third Month First Day, an evening in springtime: Two poems composed while gazing at the blossoms of the peach and damson trees in my garden.
春の園紅にほふ桃の花下照る道に出で立つ娘子
paru nö sönö
kurenawi nipopu
momo nö pana
sita teru miti ni
idetatu wotöme
A springtime garden
Glows scarlet
With peach blossom
And on the path, lit with colour
Appears a maiden.