Left.

山川の氷のくさびうちとけて石にくだくる水の白波

yamakawa no kōri no kusabi uchitokete ishi ni kudakuru mizu no shiranami

The mountain stream’s Icy wedges Are melting; Broken on the rocks In white-capped waves of water.

Lord Ari’ie

33

Right (Win).

春風に下ゆく浪の數見えて殘ともなき薄氷かな

harukaze ni shita yuku nami no kazu miete nokoru tomonaki usukōri kana

With the breath of spring, Flowing beneath, waves In numbers can be seen; Hardly any remains – just A coating of ice.

Ietaka

34

Neither team have any comments to make about the other’s poem.

Shunzei remarks that the opening of the Left’s poem seems ‘old-fashioned’ (and hence is cliched). The conclusion is splendid, but would have been improve by the substitution of ‘crags’ (iwa) for ‘rocks’ (ishi). The Right’s poem, in the spirit of clarifying the numbers of waves of water flowing under a thin sheet of ice, ‘seems exceptional’, and so the latter poem is ‘slightly superior.’