Left (Win)

積もるかと見えつる雪も霙にて眺め侘ぬる冬の山里

tsumoru ka to mietsuru yuki mo mizore nite nagamewabinuru fuyu no yamazato

Wondering at the fall Of snow glimpsed as It turns to sleet, Gazing at the sight is sad, indeed, Winterbound in my mountain home.

Lord Kanemune.

525

Right.

かき曇る同じ空より雪降れば時雨も色の變る成りけり

kakikumoru onaji sora yori yuki fureba shigure mo iro no kawaru narikeri

Crowding clouds and when From the self-same sky Falls snow The shower its very hue Does change.

Jakuren.

526

Neither the Left nor the Right find any fault with the other’s poems this round.

Shunzei’s judgement: Although the Left’s ‘wondering at the fall of snow glimpsed’ (tsumoru ka to mietsuru yuki mo) sounds as if a first fall of snow turns into sleet later, the latter part of the poem’s conception and diction are most fine [shimo no ku no kokoro kotoba koso yoroshiku haberumere]. The Right initially makes one wonder if it is snow falling, and then has ‘the shower its very hue’ (shigure mo iro no). Neither initially nor finally is there a mention of sleet. The Left’s ‘gazing at the sight is sad’ seems particularly good, too. Thus, the Left wins.