Sleet
あめのしたふるとはすれどはかなきは庭にたまらぬみぞれなりけり
ame no shita furu to wa suredo hakanaki wa niwa ni tamaranu mizore narikeri | Beneath the rain, It falls, yet Even briefly Upon the grounds settles not – The sleet. |
Daishin
Left.
宇津の山夕越え來れば霙降り袖ほしかねつ哀この旅
utsu no yama yū koekureba mizore furi sode hoshikanetsu aware kono tabi |
Gloomy in the Utsu Mountains, Crossing them at dusk In a fall of sleet; I cannot dry my sleeves, On this lonely journey. |
527
Right.
今日も又交野の御野に霙してかはく間もなき狩衣かな
kyō mo mata katano no mino ni mizore shite kawaku ma mo naki karigoromo kana |
Today once more On the royal hunting grounds at Katano Sleet falls; No time at all to dry My hunter’s garb… |
528
The Right find no faults with the Left’s poem. The Left merely say that the Right’s poem sounds old-fashioned [furumekashi].
Shunzei’s judgement: ‘The Left’s ‘I cannot dry my sleeves, on this lonely journey’ (sode hoshikanetsu aware kono tabi) has a strong sound of loneliness about it [sabite wa kikoehaberu], but there is a lack of anything connected to utsu no yama in this poem. In The Tales of Ise where it says ‘By Utsu Mount in reality‘ (utsu no yamabe no utsutsu ni mo), it does not seem that sleet was falling. If there is no reason for including utsu no yama to express the sense of sleet falling, there are many other places which could have been used to express a lonely journey. As there is no reason for including it, formally [sama de] there is a lack of connection to it. The Right’s katano no mino, too, as in the poem ‘To lend lodging to keep me dry, is there no one‘ is about hail, though hawking does take place there, so the poem does sounds slightly charming [sukoshi okashiku kikoyu]. Both Left and Right use utsu no yama and katano no mino, respectively, unnecessarily – anywhere would have done as well. Both poems are equal for this reason.’
Left (Win)
積もるかと見えつる雪も霙にて眺め侘ぬる冬の山里
tsumoru ka to mietsuru yuki mo mizore nite nagamewabinuru fuyu no yamazato |
Wondering at the fall Of snow glimpsed as It turns to sleet, Gazing at the sight is sad, indeed, Winterbound in my mountain home. |
525
Right.
かき曇る同じ空より雪降れば時雨も色の變る成りけり
kakikumoru onaji sora yori yuki fureba shigure mo iro no kawaru narikeri |
Crowding clouds and when From the self-same sky Falls snow The shower its very hue Does change. |
526
Neither the Left nor the Right find any fault with the other’s poems this round.
Shunzei’s judgement: Although the Left’s ‘wondering at the fall of snow glimpsed’ (tsumoru ka to mietsuru yuki mo) sounds as if a first fall of snow turns into sleet later, the latter part of the poem’s conception and diction are most fine [shimo no ku no kokoro kotoba koso yoroshiku haberumere]. The Right initially makes one wonder if it is snow falling, and then has ‘the shower its very hue’ (shigure mo iro no). Neither initially nor finally is there a mention of sleet. The Left’s ‘gazing at the sight is sad’ seems particularly good, too. Thus, the Left wins.
Left.
この山の峰のむら雲吹まよひ槇の葉傳ひ霙降り來ぬ
kono yama no mine no murakumo fukimayoi maki no ha tsutai mizore furikonu |
About this mountain Peak, crowding clouds Go scudding by; The yew leaves tell the tale Of fallen sleet. |
523
Right (Win).
雪ならばかゝらましやはうち拂ふ袖もしほたるゝ霙降るなり
yuki naraba kakaramashi ya wa uchiharau sode mo shiotaruru mizore furunari |
Were it snow Would it be like this? Sweeping on My sleeves are drenched With the sleet that’s fallen! |
The Provisional Master of the Empress’ Household Office.
524
Neither Left nor Right find any fault.
Shunzei’s judgement: ‘Peak, crowding clouds go scudding by’ (mine no murakumo fukimayoi) sounds fine [yoroshiku kikoyuru], but preceding it with ‘About this mountain’ (kono yama no) is something I find myself particularly unable to accept, as I wonder to which mountain the poem refers. ‘Would it be like this? Sweeping on’ (kakaramashi ya wa uchiharau) connects well with what comes before and after it and sounds tasteful, more or less [nani to naku yū ni kikoehaberu]. The Right must win.